Champions
by Wild Force Ranger
Summary: Connor trusts no one. It's safer that way. But when a girl who is more than she seems tells him about his destiny, will he be strong enough to follow it? Champions, Book 1.
1. Default Chapter

Welcome to _Champions. _This, as you probably guessed, is set in the Angel Universe, picking up approximately halfway through season four and sticking…more or less…to that season's chronology. Those of you who've never read anything by me before: This features…heavily…my original character, and some guests from non-Angel stories. I think you don't have to have read those: let me know if you're hopelessly confused, but give it about three chapters first.

Those of you following me from _Allies _and _Powers:_ thanks, first of all. Yes, the guests are from _Allies. _And in this series, we learn a bit more about what drives Tara, and we also get to see her absolutely stark raving bonkers.

Anyone who watches Angel and Buffy; various characters refer to Buffy at various times. I can't keep the internal chronology straight, but please feel free to point out where I went wrong.

How this works: I assume, if you're reading this, you watch Angel (Unless you're following on from _Allies_ or _Powers_. Did I mention thanks?) Parts of this are pretty much taken straight from episodes; parts are looser; and the rest never appeared on any TV screen at all, being totally in my head. There are also parts where episodes are skimmed over, but you should know pretty much what went on.

This is a long sucker, boys and girls, so settle in for a haul.

Enjoy!

Apocalypse, Nowish

__

On the show: _Cordelia's visions come true as The Beast rises, bringing with him a rain of fire._

"You're not from around here, are you."

The voice startled Connor and he spun, automatically slipping into a defensive stance. Having just dispatched three vampires, he was in no mood to be messed with.

The girl behind him didn't seem to be messing, though. Standing several feet away, she had her arms crossed tightly across her chest-tightly enough that she couldn't pull any weapons she might have hidden.

"Who wants to know?" Connor relaxed out of the stance and examined her more closely. Blond hair should have clashed with black eyes but she managed to pull it off nicely.

"Just an interested party. Where are you from?"

"Around."

"That's not what I meant." He started to walk past her, but he jerked to a halt when she continued, "I meant which dimension?" He spun back around to stare at her. She returned the gaze calmly as he circled her.

"Quor'toth." he said slowly.

"Ah, yes. Hell dimension, right? Time runs at about…oh…five years a day?"

"Who are you?"

"No one. Why does it matter, Stephen?" He shook his head slowly.

"That's not my name."

"Yes it is. It's been your name far longer than Connor has."

He shook his head again. "I'm not Stephen."

"Sure you are." She grinned at him.

"Who are you?" he asked for the third time.

"A name…" she murmured.

"That would help." Connor said.

"Deirbhile."

"Deirbhile." He repeated it flatly.

"It'll do." Connor shook his head.

"I don't know who you are, and I don't care. Get out of my way."

"Or what?" She grinned, unfolding her arms. "You going to attack me?"

Connor shook his head slowly. "You're crazy."

"Nope." She smiled again. "Well, a little. But that's your fault."

"My fault? How is it my fault?" He glanced up as Cordelia appeared behind the girl.

"Your stupid Quor'toth. Makes me sick."

"_My _Quor'toth…?" He cut himself off as Deirbhile whirled.

"You stay away from me." she hissed at Cordelia. "You're just as bad as he is with your higher plane. You both make me sick."

"You mean that in the literal sense, don't you." Cordelia said, making a wide circle around her and joining Connor.

"Yes." Deirbhile closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "You have a friend. One not from around here. I need to see him."

"'Not from around here'? Can you narrow it down a little?" Cordelia asked.

"She means the demon. Kreve'Lorne'Swath." Connor said quietly.

"Lorne?" Cordelia looked back at him. "Why Lorne?" Connor shrugged, not looking away from the girl.

"She said the same thing about me. That I wasn't from around here."

"What is she…"

"Can I _please _go talk to your friend?" Deirbhile interrupted them. "I _really _need to talk to him."

"Why?" Cordelia asked.

"He's in trouble. I need to talk to him before I sort it out."

"You're going to sort it out?" Connor repeated. "Must not be much trouble."

"You have no idea." Deirbhile muttered. "Where is he?"

"At the hotel." Cordelia said. "Isn't he?"

"Gonna havta be a bit more specific. I don't know LA. What's the hotel?"

"It's where he lives. Do you know anything about him?" Cordelia asked.

"He used to be in Caritas. I know there. But he doesn't go there anymore."

"Caritas was destroyed last year." Cordelia said quietly. "Lorne lives at the hotel now."

"Hotel, hotel. What hotel?"

"I'll show you." Cordelia said finally.

"I'll do it." Connor said quickly. "You go home. I'll take her to the hotel."

"All right." Cordelia agreed. "No trying to kill Angel."

"I won't." Connor said absently, turning back to Deirbhile. "Come on." Deirbhile grinned.

"You shouldn't have left, you know."

"I didn't have a choice at the time." Connor said tightly, turning on his heel and walking away. Deirbhile ran to catch up.

"Connor!" Cordelia called. Connor half-turned to look back at her; Deirbhile squeaked and ducked away from him. "No trying to kill her either!"

"Anyone home?" Connor called when they reached the lobby.

"Connor." Angel came out of the office; Fred came down the stairs, followed by Gunn. "And company."

"She's looking for Lorne." Connor turned on his heel.

"Leaving, Stephen?" Deirbhile asked vaguely, wandering around the lobby. Angel looked at Connor in time to see the flinch.

"_Connor. _Not Stephen."

"Leaving, Stephen?" He sighed.

"I said I'd bring you here. I've brought you here. Now, since I make you sick, you stay here and talk to Lorne. Goodbye."

"Who is she, Connor?" Angel asked.

"She found me. I don't know who she is, but she wants to talk to Lorne." He glanced at Fred. "You might want to stay away from her."

"Why?"

"She doesn't like people from other dimensions."

"I'm not from another dimension."

"Neither are Cordy or I but she didn't like us much."

"Connor." Angel said warningly.

"Deirbhile." Connor said after a moment. The girl stopped twirling and looked at him.

"Yes, Stephen?"

"Deirbhile?" Angel repeated. He pronounced it differently than Connor had, softer. She was smiling as she turned towards him.

"Yes, Liam?"

"Liam?" Fred repeated.

"That's…" Angel hesitated, switching track. "You're looking for Lorne?"

Deirbhile frowned. "He's not from around here, right?"

"No." Connor supplied. "Lorne's from Pylea."

"Right. Then I want to talk to him, please." She looked around. "Before I forget what I want to say, preferably. I hate LA."

"I'll…" Fred trailed off, heading back upstairs.

"Yeah. Thanks." Angel agreed. "Who _are _you, Deirbhile?"

"Trying to help your friend, Liam. That's all you're getting right now."

"You're not Irish."

"So?"

"Angel?" Gunn asked.

"Deirbhile's an Irish name…not a common one. I haven't heard it used in over a hundred years."

"I used it a long time ago. Galway, right? You've probably never heard of me, but I was famous once."

"This better be important." Lorne groused from halfway down the stairs.

"A crazy girl's lookin' for you." Gunn told him. Fred elbowed him in the chest.

"No appointment." Lorne said, turning away.

"Kreve'Lorne'Swath!" Deirbhile called.

"What?" Lorne came the rest of the way down.

"Do you know how much trouble you're in?" Deirbhile demanded, hands on hips.

"Have we met?"

"Nope." For a young girl facing off against a green-skinned red-horned demon, she was doing pretty well.

"She's not afraid of him." Connor muttered from beside Angel.

"Please. You think this guy's scary? Try facing off against Merrick sometime." Before anyone could comment she went on, "You're anagogic, yes? Can I sing?"

"Can you?" Gunn repeated. "You gonna remember the words?"

"The words aren't important, Gunn." She didn't look away from Lorne.

"She's got you there. OK, honey, stun me."

Deirbhile smiled, backing away. She took a deep breath, and…

Angel blinked. Fred was shaking his arm…when had that happened? And Lorne was looking at him funny.

"What happened?" Connor was stanced beside him, watching for danger.

"You're really her." Lorne sounded dazed. Deirbhile bowed and then glanced at Angel.

"Well _that's _never happened before. How odd."

"Angel." Lorne said urgently. "Have you heard of Thariin?"

"Thariin?" he repeated. "Yeah…mystical earth goddess, right? Elven."

"Not…so much a goddess. Also, not so much mystical." Lorne turned to look at Deirbhile, who was closely examining some wallpaper. Everyone followed his gaze.

"Her? The girl's crazy!" Gunn protested. "She's an earth goddess?" He frowned. "What's an earth goddess?"

"She's crazy because she's here." Lorne explained. "Thariin's a manifestation of the Earth. She needs earth or rock or wood—natural elements—around to keep her balanced. LA's all man made."

"Am not." Deirbhile said, turning away from the wall.

"Not what?" Angel asked. Connor was staring at the girl.

"Manifes…what he said. I'm an Elf. I was an Elf for years before I could do that other stuff."

"And you're here why, exactly?" Gunn asked. Fred elbowed him again.

"She said you were in trouble." Connor volunteered when Deirbhile didn't answer.

"Me?" Lorne said. "What'd I do?"

"You weren't born here, Kreve'Lorne'Swath. Earth doesn't like you very much. Do you know how often I've saved you?" Deirbhile asked, sitting carefully on one of the seats. Lorne frowned.

"What do you mean?"

Deirbhile sighed, gesturing around. "Everyone else here was born on Earth. Stephen's given me some problems, but nothing major. But you weren't born here, and you've been living here—what—six years now? Not every earthquake is natural, Kreve'Lorne'Swath, and not every portal is unexplained."

Angel saw Fred tense at the word _portal _and decided it was time he stepped in. "What are you talking about?"

"No, I get it." Lorne looked troubled. "I giving you headaches, Thariin?"

"Headaches, stomach aches, periods of violent throwing up…" She grinned. "I can handle it. I just needed to make sure you _want _to stay here."

"Here as opposed to Pylea?" Lorne asked. Deirbhile nodded. "You couldn't drag me back there."

"All right. I'll see to it." She glanced at Connor. "You wanna go home, Stephen?"

"Home?"

"Quor'toth."

"Quor'toth's not my home."

"You were raised there."

"Not my home." he repeated. Looking at Angel, he added, "I have to go. Cordelia's on her own." Angel nodded, not bothering to watch as he left.

"Lorne, what about her?" he asked, indicating Deirbhile, who had curled up on the seat and was apparently asleep. "Is she on our side?"

"Not really. But she's definitely not on the other side."

"What do you mean?" Fred asked. Idly, Angel started counting how many times one of them had said that in the last five minutes.

"Thariin protects the earth. She's not going to attack just because someone's a demon, but anyone who harms the earth had better watch out. A few years ago there was a demon of some kind in a little town called Silver Hills causing earthquakes. Thariin buried him alive. Entombed him in solid rock. _But _the town had been attacked on and off for a few years before that and she didn't do anything."

"Why not?" Gunn asked.

"Weren't attacking me." Deirbhile said, sitting up. "I don't like this place much. It smells funny."

"Funny how?" Fred asked gently, sitting down beside her.

"Funny dead. No earth, no wood…except dead wood." She gestured towards the weapons cabinet. "How do you people _live _like this?"

"It doesn't bother us so much." Fred said, pretending not to notice as Deirbhile slid away from her along the seat. "I lived in a cave in Pylea."

"I know." Deirbhile murmured, abandoning pretense and rising to her feet. "Kreve'Lorne'Swath, I need…"

"I know. Hang tough, kiddo." He looked at Gunn. "You wanna take a ride?"

"Where to?"

"Griffith Park. She needs earth or rock or wood and that's the closest."

"There's a garden out back."

"It's dead. There's no connection there." Deirbhile said, leaning against the desk.

"Dead?" Fred repeated a bit nervously.

"It's just a big lump of earth sitting on concrete. There's no connection to the earth." She looked at Angel. "I'm not normally this crazy, Liam."

"It's not something I've ever heard about you."

"What have you heard about me?"

"Pretty much what I said. Mystical Elven earth goddess."

"Well, let's not see. Not mystical," she held up one finger. "Also not a goddess." She held up another. "50%. Not very impressive."

"Yeah, but you're a legend, kiddo." Lorne reminded her. "Legends get distorted in the retelling."

"Even his?" She glanced again at Angel.

"All legends."

"So someone want to fill the rest of us in?" Gunn asked. Lorne glanced at Deirbhile, who gestured for him to go ahead.

"Thariin was fighting in a war, a very very long time ago. She managed to get separated from her companions and was injured doing it. A friend, a sorcerer, found her, but the only thing he could do was draw strength straight out of the earth for her. What he didn't realize was that by doing that, he'd linked her forever with the planet. Either goes, now, the other goes too."

"And you've been alive since then?" Fred asked. Deirbhile nodded distractedly.

"I was a princess then. Last time I was Deirbhile I was a Queen." She laughed. "That was more fun, I think. But, no…'cos I met Conchobar then."

"Connor?" Gunn said.

"Conchobar. Very old form of Connor." Angel explained.

"Look, fun and all as this is," Lorne said, "You really need to get going, kiddo."

"I know." she agreed. "But I don't know where the place is."

"You can't track it?"

"Not from here, Kreve'Lorne'Swath. Concrete and dead earth. Blergh."

"We're going." Gunn said at a pointed look from Lorne. "D'you want me to bring her back here after, Angel?" Angel glanced at Lorne, who shrugged.

"If she wants to." He looked at Deirbhile, who was huffing on the desk and drawing in the steam, and added softly, "if she can tell you what she wants."

"I'm not stupid!" Deirbhile said defiantly. "Just…distracted, right now." She grinned suddenly. "I was distracted this way during the largest battle of the war. My brother kept having to pull me out of danger."

"He let you fight?" Angel asked.

"He didn't _let _me do anything, Liam. He might have been older but I was every bit as royal as he was, and no one, _no one, _told me what to do. Ever."

"If you don't stop distracting us you're never going to get to the park." Lorne said, pushing her towards Gunn. She cringed away from his touch.

"We don't want that." Fred murmured, trying to take attention away from her. "Come on, Charles. I'll come too."

"It's a party." he muttered, holding the door open. Deirbhile stared at him vaguely until he gestured, then she smiled and headed out.

Angel looked across at Lorne, who was gazing after the departed figures. "Lorne?"

"Something big must be coming. Thariin wouldn't come here for no reason."

"I thought she came to help you."

"Yeah, but she could do that from anywhere…I think. Angel, LA is to Thariin what churches and holy water are to you." Angel whistled softly.

"So what's coming?"

"I'm sorry to say we'll find out soon."

Cordelia looked up as the door opened.

"Hey. Kid find Lorne?"

"Yeah." He shook his head as he sat down.

"What?"

"She's an earth goddess. Or, not a goddess, but…something. Thariin, Lorne kept calling her."

"And?" Cordelia asked.

"She's just a crazy kid!"

"Sounds like something Gunn would say. Connor, you of all people know the outside doesn't count for very much."

"I guess." Connor agreed. "But still…" He shook his head again.

"Oh, that's much better." Deirbhile turned in a small circle, looking upwards. "Much, much better." Glancing around, she headed for the nearest tree and settled herself cross-legged beneath it.

"Hey." Gunn hunkered in front of her. "This gonna take long?"

"It will take as long as it takes, Gunn." she answered, eyes closed. "It shouldn't be long. Just don't talk to me." Gunn snorted, pushing back to his feet.

"Well, this is certainly turning out to be a swell day."

"Come on, Charles. We get to spend the afternoon alone together in the park. In the sun." Fred said softly.

"Yeah, alone except for looney not-a-goddess over there."

"I may not be a goddess, Gunn," Deirbhile spoke up, "but I can still kick your ass without even trying, so don't push your luck. 'Kay?"

"You think you can take me?" Gunn asked. Deirbhile opened her eyes and tilted her head to one side, considering.

"Hmm—yeah. I could. Now leave me alone."

"Hey, no problem." Gunn started to walk away, halting only when Fred called after him.

"We can't leave her here, Charles."

"She's a mystical whatever, she can take care of herself."

"Oh, crap." Both turned around; Deirbhile was on her feet, staring at nothing.

"What? Is something wrong?" Fred asked.

"You could say that. Can we go back to the hotel?"

"You ready?" Gunn asked grudgingly.

"I'll live. Please? I need to talk to…Angel's in charge, right?"

"Yes." Fred said quickly.

"Good. Then I need to talk to him. Please." she added, when neither moved.

"All right, crazy girl, let's go." Gunn said finally.

"I'm not crazy, you know."

"You are if you think you could take me."

"It's not just you."

Lorne looked up as Deirbhile burst into the lobby. "Excuse me?"

"It's not just you. Someone else came as well. Who was it?"

"What? Honey, you're gonna have to calm down."

"I don't have _time." _She drew a deep breath. "Wherever you're from, there's someone else from there here. I need to find him."

"What, Groo? He took off months ago. Haven't heard from him since."

"Groo." Deirbhile muttered.

"Why? What's up, kiddo?"

"He's…I need to find him." She sighed, rubbing her face. "Sorry I freaked, Kreve'Lorne'Swath."

"Did you freak? I couldn't tell the difference." Gunn said from behind her.

Only Lorne saw Deirbhile's expression at that. What he saw was enough to send him out from behind the desk and across the lobby, away from her.

"Lorne?" Gunn said in surprise.

"I'd stop baiting that girl if I were you." Lorne said, gesturing at Deirbhile.

"Who, crazy girl? What's she gonna do?"

"Charles, you're…" Fred gestured and he reached up to touch his face, frowning when his hand came away bloody.

"Thariin…" Lorne said hesitantly.

"What?"

"You don't want to be doing that."

"Hell yes I do. This guy is the most uptight, intolerant…"

"Maybe, but you really don't want to be doing that." Deirbhile stood for a moment before relaxing suddenly; the flow of blood from Gunn's nose slowed and stopped. "I didn't know you could do that."

"It's not something I advertise, Kreve'Lorne'Swath. It's not something I do lightly, either. But in here there's not much else I could do."

"There's a cabinet of weapons over there." Gunn pointed out. "You want at me, do it the regular way."

"Your weapons are crude and ugly and I'll have no part of them." She looked over her shoulder at Lorne. "I have to go now. This other person, this Groo, is in trouble and I have to go."

"You don't really need to go find him, do you." Lorne said carefully.

"I certainly can't do anything from here."

"That's not what he meant." Angel spoke up from the landing above them.

"I know what he meant."

"I don't." Gunn said. "Someone want to clue us in?"

"I don't need to see Groo to help him. I just need to know where he is, but I can do that from almost anywhere. I didn't need to come here either."

"So why did you?" Angel asked.

"You're famous, you know, Angel. There are others…demons who've forsaken evil…but none of them fight the way you do." Angel nodded slowly.

"That's not why you came."

"No." she agreed easily. "It's not. I came because…" she frowned. "Something is coming. Something very big. Something I can't fight."

"You don't fight." Gunn pointed out, frowning. "Not unless Earth's threatened."

"Earth's threatened." She didn't look at him as she spoke. "But this is a demon. That's not what I fight."

"A demon?" Angel repeated. "Which one?"

"I don't _know, _Angel. But I can sense him getting ready…he'll be here soon." Her voice took on an odd lilt. "Death will rise from the place of life, and rain destruction and fire down on the city of Angels. As you stand now you can't defeat him; he'll rise, and he'll kill." She swayed, automatically reaching for the counter to steady herself. "Damn," she whispered, "I hate when that happens."

"What happened?" Fred asked. Deirbhile looked up unsteadily.

"Things that will happen send…ripples, sort of, that I can sense."

"Backwards?" Fred asked.

"Sometimes, if they're strong enough. It happened a lot when…when this started." She gestured vaguely to herself. "Oh, that does it. Angel, may I look at your weapons?"

"My weapons?" Angel repeated. "Sure. Why?"

"Something in there is singing. It's calling." She crossed to the cabinet, pulling open the doors. Angel came to stand just behind her, watching as she knelt down and unearthed a dagger without hesitating. She rose slowly to her feet, holding the dagger lightly.

"Where did you get this?" Angel squinted at the blade.

"I took it from a demon a few years back."

"Where's the other one?"

"The what?"

"The other one!" She spun to face him, and he involuntarily took a step back; Deirbhile's hair was blowing in a breeze they couldn't feel, and her eyes had gone very dark. In that moment she looked every bit the Elf she claimed to be. "This was a pair! Where's the second one?"

"There wasn't a second one." Angel said carefully.

"Thariin, you wanna explain?" Lorne asked from behind Angel. Deirbhile glared at him. Her hair settled, but her eyes were still dark.

"The dagger's mine, Angel, it's always been mine. And I want to know where the other one is."

"That dagger? Angel's had that long's I've known him." Gunn protested.

"The Lady of Light made the daggers for me, for the battle under the Horn. She knew I would fight, no matter that I was told to hide, so she made me the daggers and a chain mail. The daggers are mine, Angel." Angel studied her for a long minute. The names meant nothing to him, but there was something in her voice…

"The demon I took it from said it had powers, powers he couldn't use." Deirbhile snorted.

"There's no power in this blade. Power is never in things…only in those who use them." She lifted her top slightly, tugging on her belt. With a _click_ she attached the dagger at her side.

"You gonna carry that around? It's kinda obvious." Gunn said.

"It won't be seen."

"You willing to bet on that, crazy girl? 'Cause if you…"

"Look, black man." she interrupted him. Lorne blanched. "You're good at…" she waved vaguely. "Chopping things up or whatever. I'm good at this. The dagger won't be seen."

"You can't call me black man!" Gunn said.

"Why not? You're calling me crazy girl."

"You are crazy."

"Actually, I'm not. And you are black."

"Black man's a racist term." Fred pointed out. "It's offensive."

"I find being called crazy offensive. And if he keeps calling me crazy, I'm going to keep calling him black. And at least one of us will be telling the truth." Turning her back on Gunn, she looked up at Angel. "This demon…he had only one?" Angel nodded slowly.

"I've never heard of another."

"It's somewhere." She turned, pacing absently away.

"Are you sure?" Lorne asked. "It could have been melted down, or destroyed."

"No." She shook her head firmly. "Not this dagger. It exists, somewhere." She stopped and looked at Angel again. Slowly, she unclasped the dagger from her belt and held it out to him.

"It's yours." Angel said quietly. "You keep it." When she was about to refuse, he added, "For helping Lorne. Keep it."

"I didn't do that to get something back." she said sharply.

"I know." Angel said placatingly.

"So why did you do it?" Gunn asked.

"I don't fight, Gunn, but that doesn't mean I'm not on a side."

"Turtle Cove." Lorne said, out of nowhere.

Deirbhile cocked her head. "You read more than I thought."

"What's…Turtle Cove?" Fred asked.

"It's a place where I lived for a while. And while I was there I fought some." Deirbhile told her. "That's what Kreve'Lorne'Swath means."

"Why fight there?" Fred asked.

"Because the enemy, there, came from the earth. That made them my responsibility. Demons are not part of me…they have nothing to do with me." She shook her head, absently playing with the dagger. "The point is that I am on your side. And Kreve'Lorne'Swath is a good person, and if I can help him I will."

"And I'm very grateful, but can you stop calling me Kreve'Lorne'Swath? I keep thinking my mother's coming up behind me." He shuddered hugely; Deirbhile smiled, ducking her head.

"Duly noted. Sorry."

"All right." Gunn said. "So what's coming?"

"If I knew that I could do something about it, Gunn. All I know is it's big and scary and it's coming."

"Can you see it?" Angel asked.

"No. Feel it, yes, but not see it."

"What does it feel like?" Gunn asked.

Deirbhile rolled her eyes and said slowly, "Big. Scary. And planning on rising."

"Where?" Fred asked.

"I don't know."

"You just said…" Gunn protested.

"I know what I said. I just don't know what it means." Before he could say anything, she added, "Cordelia doesn't always know what her visions mean, OK? I don't know what I meant."

"You know an awful lot about us for someone we just met." Gunn said suspiciously. Deirbhile rolled her eyes.

"Lorne, can you please explain this to him? Use small words, I don't think he'd get it otherwise." Without waiting for Lorne, she went on, "Every time you step into the streets I can sense it. I can track your movements back until you were born, if I want. That's why Stephen and Lorne upset me."

"Why do you keep calling him Stephen?" Fred asked. "It's not his name."

"It's the name he was raised with…I have issues with the name Connor. They're my own personal issues, nothing to do with him, and he answers to Stephen."

"Keep calling him that, see how long he answers." Lorne murmured.

"And…you called me Liam." Angel said quietly. Deirbhile shrugged.

"I was crazy then. What did you expect?"

"And you're not now?" Gunn muttered. Deirbhile made a face at him and then looked around uncertainly.

"Um…could I…stay here? Just for the night? Please? I didn't think I'd be here so long."

"Sure." Fred said, when no one else spoke. "Come on, we'll find you a room."

"Thanks." Deirbhile nodded to Angel and followed Fred, pausing to murmur to Lorne as she passed.

"What about Groo?" Lorne called suddenly, and Deirbhile paused on the stairs.

"I'll handle it."

"From here? You said…"

"I'll handle it." she repeated. Turning, she continued upstairs.

"Angel…" Gunn started.

"Gunn, unless you want to stay inside for the rest of your life, shut up." Lorne said fiercely. "Stop pushing her. She can do a whole lot worse than make your nose bleed."

"Why are you defending her?" Gunn demanded.

"Why are you so set against her?" Angel countered on Lorne's behalf.

"Because she's crazy."

"She's not. She's probably the sanest person you'll ever meet." Lorne said quietly. "She has to be, or else we'd all suffer the consequences."

"What?" Gunn asked. Lorne groaned theatrically.

"She's Earth, Gunn. If she goes mad, earth erupts. Earthquakes and volcanoes, and probably other things as well. She holds all that in check." Gunn started to say something, but Angel interrupted him.

"Just…pretend like you believe us, Gunn, and let it go for now, OK? We need to think about what she said."

"It's not much." Fred said apologetically. "We didn't really…we don't run a hotel."

"It's fine." Deirbhile said; she sounded slightly distracted. "Thank you very much, Fred."

"Do you want anything?"

It took a minute for Deirbhile to focus on her again; Fred waited patiently.

"Does that sink work?" Deirbhile asked finally.

"Yes."

"Then that's all I need. Thank you." Fred nodded and turned to leave; Deirbhile suddenly called after her. "Fred? Don't give up on Gunn. He loves you."

"I know." Fred said softly, closing the door behind her.

Deirbhile stood for a long minute without moving; finally she crossed to the window and unlatched it. "Staying out there all night?" she asked mildly, heading back to sit on the bed. Connor swung in through the window and studied her carefully.

"Maybe. I hadn't decided."

"What have I done to rate a guardian?" She leaned back on her elbows, deliberately placing herself in a vulnerable position. It worked; Connor relaxed slightly.

"I'm not guarding you."

"Who are you guarding then?"

"Them." He jerked his head towards the door.

"Them?" Deirbhile sat up again. "In case you've forgotten, 'them' is your father, who you hate, Lorne, who you hate, and Fred'n'Gunn…who you're probably pretty much indifferent to."

"I don't hate Lorne."

"Sure you do." she said cheerfully. "'s the way you were raised. It's why he went to Vegas in the first place, Stephen."

__

"Connor."

"So why protect them if you don't like them?" Connor stared past her at the back of her door. Deirbhile took advantage of his distraction to cross to the sink and splash some water over her face.

He was looking at her when she turned around, and she bowed mockingly. "Well?"

"Because I don't know what you are. You're not human. I don't know if you're a threat."

"I'm not, but I don't suppose you're going to take my word." She stared at him for a long moment. "Cordelia needs you."

He stiffened. "Why?"

"A vision…I think…something's upset her very much. She's alone, Stephen." He didn't object to the name this time.

"How can you tell?" he asked warily. "You didn't even know where Lorne was earlier."

"That was earlier. I'm better balanced now." When he didn't say anything, she added, "I tracked you earlier, when you left the hotel. Gunn thinks I'm mad…too busy tracking you to pay attention to him." She looked at the door for a moment; when she turned back, Connor had vanished.

No one had time to check on her the next day, what with the rise of the Beast. No one even really noticed she wasn't around; it wasn't until the morning after the rain of fire that anyone even thought to wonder where she was. Lorne was delegated to go and check on her.

"Thariin? You awake, kiddo?"

He pushed open her door and looked around; the room looked empty, but he could hear faint noises. "Thariin?"

Moving around the bed, he found her huddled on the floor, staring blankly straight ahead.

"Thariin? What's wrong?"

"Fire." she murmured. Lorne followed her gaze and realized she was staring out the window.

"Ah. Pyrotechnics courtesy of our new best buddy the Beast. Nearly killed us last night." Deirbhile dragged her gaze away from the window to look at him.

"You _are _a bit banged up, Lorne. Everyone all right?''

''We'll all live. Connor broke a couple of ribs. Angel managed to get stabbed in the neck. We're all a bit battered." He looked at Deirbhile, who was looking out the window again. "Are _you _all right?"

"I...fire. It burns."

"I didn't think...are you all right?"

"No. But I will be."

"What do you need?"

"To go back to the park." She grinned bitterly. "But that's not going to happen, right? So I'll have to manage."

"Can you?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Sure? We'll get you there, if you need it."

"I can do it. Where's Stephen?"

"Hmm?"

"You said he broke his ribs. Where is he?"

"Cordelia took him home."

"Right." Deirbhile muttered. "Could you do me a favor, Lorne?"

"Anything."

"I need you to call my friends back in Turtle Cove. They know I'm here, and they're going to be worried."

"No problemo. What do you want me to say?"

"Just...tell them I'm all right." Lorne nodded, taking the piece of paper she held out.

"What name do you want me to use?"

"They'll know Thariin, or Deirbhile. Whichever you want." He nodded again, but he still didn't leave.

"I don't like leaving you like this. You sure you don't need anything?"

"Just call my friends, please. Ask Cole to keep a grip on Merrick."

"Will do, kiddo. You get some rest."

Deirbhile smiled faintly, bowing her head. "I will, Lorne. Thank you." Lorne left, and she turned her attention back to the window.


	2. Awakenings, pt 1

Author's note: And I got exactly…no reviews. Riii-ght. Anyone want to see if I can do better this week?

Previously, on Angel: The Beast casts a spell to block out the sun, throwing LA into eternal night. This spell is cast from Connor's squat, rendering it uninhabitable and forcing him back into the hotel. Certain things the Beast says lead the team to think Angelous has knowledge they may need.

Awakening, Pt 1

"How long have you been up here?"

She didn't react to the voice. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Ten minutes."

"Then I guess I've been sitting here at least that long."

"Why?" Connor moved around the end of the bed to stare at her. "You're not even doing anything."

"Not that you can see." she agreed. "How are you?"

"Just fine, thanks." She squinted up at him.

"No you're not. What happened? And, sit down."

"What happened? Haven't you been paying attention?"

"Your Beast friend dropped fire all over the city, I've been busy. And blocking out the sun didn't help much either."

"He cast the spell from my home.'' Connor said bitterly. ''I now have no home.''

''Well _that's _just not true.'' Deirbhile said.

''Why do you say that?"

"You're here, aren't you?" Connor snorted.

"And this is _so _much better."

"Than sleeping on the streets, yeah it is. Look, bad things really do happen to good people, and I know you're a good person." He snorted again.

"You're about the only person who thinks so."

"Well, I have advantages. But I'm not, you know." She rose unsteadily to her feet and reached out to touch the cut on his face. He flinched away and she backed off.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Stephen. I just want to see if you're all right."

"Cordelia looked at it."

"Cordelia doesn't have my advantages. Stand _still, _for goodness' sake. Let me see." Connor stood and allowed her to touch the cut; her fingers felt very warm for a moment before she turned away. Slightly dazed, Connor followed her down to the lobby; the others, with the exception of Wesley, were scattered around the area and no one paid much attention as Deirbhile headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Connor called after her.

"Out."

"Out?" Fred repeated. "Is that wise?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"The streets are full of demons, that's why not." Cordelia said.

"So's the hotel. Doesn't seem to bother you."

"That's different. None of us want to kill you." Angel said.

"Speak for yourself." Gunn muttered.

"There's no-one out there who'll hurt me."

"You sure about that?" Cordelia asked.

"They won't see me." Deirbhile said. "And even if they did, no demon will attack me—not if they know who I am."

"There's a flaw in your theory, kiddo." Lorne pointed out.

"I have to go. I don't have time for this." She moved towards the door again.

"You gotta go, I'll go with you." Gunn offered.

"You'll just make it harder. I won't be seen, but you will."

"I'll go." Connor said. "I won't be seen either."

"I don't think..." Cordelia started.

"I don't have time." Deirbhile said again. "If you're coming, Stephen, let's go."

"This is a bad idea." Angel said.

"Unfortunately, you're not my boss." Deirbhile turned to face him, suddenly very serious. "I know it's a risk, Angel, but _I have to go_. No one has to come."

"What's so important?" Angel asked.

Deirbhile turned to look at Lorne. "When you talked to my friends, Lorne?"

"Mhm. Cole said he'd hold onto Merrick if he knew where Merrick was."

Deirbhile looked back at Angel. "Merrick's a friend of mine, Angel. He's also stubborn as hell and thinks he has to take care of me. He's here in LA, and I have to go find him and make him go home."

Angel nodded slowly, glancing at Connor. "You mind going?"

"Wouldn't have offered."

"Great. Lovely. Let's_ go_." Deirbhile started towards the door again. Connor followed quietly behind her.

"Where are we going?" Connor called.

"My house."

"You have a house?"

"Yes."

"I thought we were looking for Merrick."

"He'll be there. Do you always talk so much?"

"No one ever asked me that before."

"Think about it. _Quietly_." She turned abruptly down an alley and stopped, staring ahead.

"What?" Connor asked after a minute.

"Do you trust me?"

"No."

"All right. Forget trust. If I asked you to close your eyes and stand still, would you?"

"Depends. Are you trying to leave me behind?"

"No. I'm trying to get us there faster."

Connor studied her for a moment. "He's important to you."

"Merrick?" Deirbhile looked away. "I thought I was in love with Merrick once."

"What happened?"

"He loves someone else. I want him happy, so..." She trailed off.

Connor nodded slowly. "All right. Do—whatever you're doing." He closed his eyes. Deirbhile touched his hand, linking her fingers through his.

"You might be dizzy for a minute. Don't let go, no matter what." Connor nodded without opening his eyes, and Deirbhile made a gesture with her other hand.

The ground began to move under them, rippling and propelling them along. Connor jerked and his grip tightened.

"Relax. We're nearly there.'' They stopped with a jerk that nearly knocked them off their feet.

"Are we here?" Connor asked.

"We're here." Deirbhile squeezed his fingers affectionately and let go, moving away. Connor looked around curiously.

"Where are we?"

"Outskirts--extreme outskirts. Look." She gestured upwards and Connor glanced up.

"The sun." he murmured. It was still blocked here, but not completely; the effect was like standing beneath a tree on a windy day.

"I feel better already." Deirbhile murmured, turning towards a nearby house. Connor followed her, casting one last, almost wistful look upwards as he did so.

Deirbhile had reached the door when he caught up with her. She had one hand pressed against it and was speaking quietly.

"You have some explaining to do, Merrick. Now please ask Shayla to drop her wards." She pushed on the door and it swung inwards.

"Who's Shayla?" Connor asked quietly.

"Merrick's wife. He's not supposed to bring her--he's breaking the rules." She glanced back at Connor. "Close the door and let's go."

"The door's broken. The lock's still attached to the frame."

"It's supposed to be like that. Just push it closed." Connor pushed it closed and watched the door melt around the lock.

"Can you do that anywhere?"

"No. This place is special in a very particular way."

"Deirbhile." He caught her arm.

"Not now, Stephen. Just wait a few minutes, OK?" Pulling away from him she opened the door in front of them and slipped through.

Connor thought seriously about going back to the hotel at that point. If Deirbhile was going to ignore him, there wasn't much point in his being there. She'd proved she didn't need protection, so he didn't have to worry about that.

In the end curiosity drove him through the door and into the room beyond. Deirbhile was talking animatedly to a man about Wesley's age. On a nearby couch, a young woman about Fred's age was holding a boy of about four.

When she saw him, Deirbhile broke off her conversation and crossed to stand beside him. "Connor or Stephen?" she asked quietly.

"Connor. That's my name, after all." he added, a little bitterly.

"Connor," she raised her voice, "this is Merrick. Princess Shayla, his wife, and Cole, their son. This is Connor; he's part of the group I'm with."

"Connor?" Merrick repeated questioningly.

"Are you Uncle Cole's cousin?" the little boy piped up. Connor glanced at Deirbhile.

"No, he's not. And Connor's not Cole's cousin, either." Deirbhile glared at Merrick as she spoke.

"We had to tell him something, Tara." Shayla said quietly.

"Deirbhile, Princess. And no, you didn't. What are you doing here, Merrick?"

"Looking for you. Cole said your friend called..."

"Lorne. Yes, he did, and he would have told you not to come."

"It wasn't my idea." Merrick looked over at his son. "Cole had a dream, and he wouldn't stop until we came to find you."

"Cole's precog?" Deirbhile asked in surprise. "You're keeping secrets from me, Merrick."

"That wasn't my idea either."

"It was mine." Shayla said calmly. "Cole's only four. You can't have him yet."

"I don't want him, Princess. You know that." She knelt beside Shayla, looking at Cole. "You wanna tell me your dream, short stuff?"

"I already told Mama and Papa."

"I know you did, but I didn't hear it. Will you tell me?"

"Is he your Champion?" Cole asked, looking at Connor.

"Cole, honey. The dream."

"It was scary." Cole informed her.

"Well, maybe I'll just ask Papa to tell me, and that way you won't be scared."

"I didn't say _I _was scared. I just didn't want _you _scared."

"Thank you, Cole. Tell you what. Start telling me, and if I get scared you can stop."

"OK. You were in a big room--you, and him," he gestured to Connor, "and a black man, and a girl with brown hair, and a man with stubbly-beard."

"Wesley." Connor muttered. Deirbhile glanced up at him.

"Gunn and Fred." she agreed. "Is that all, short stuff?"

"No. There was a man with green skin and horns."

"Lorne." Deirbhile muttered. "Go on, short stuff."

"You all were talking about prayers."'

"Prayers?" Connor repeated.

"Angelus." He pronounced it oddly, putting the stress on the first syllable. "That's a prayer, right, Cousin Tara?"

"Right, short stuff. What did we say about them?"

"I couldn't hear it."

"That's OK. Then what happened?"

"This is pointless." Connor said, turning to leave.

"It's not pointless, Stephen. Sit down."

"This child doesn't know anything."

"He does. Sit _down._" Connor stared at her for a long moment before stalking away a bit.

"Still pointless."

"Stephen, shush. Go on, short stuff."

Cole looked uncertainly at Connor, before squaring his shoulders and continuing. "A big rockman came in. Everyone started yelling, and he-" he gestured to Connor again "-tried to hit him with a sword. The rockman smacked him, and he flew over a counter. You'd been sitting on it, and he knocked into you and you both fell off onto the floor. The black man threw an ax, and it just bounced off and nearly hit the beardy man. He yelled for the girl to run, and she did, but the rockman picked up the sword and threw it, and it hit her in the back, and then the rockman picked up the black man and threw him at the beardy man, and they landed on top of the ax, and…"

"OK, honey." Deirbhile interrupted him. "That's enough."

"Cousin Tara?" Cole asked. "Is that really going to happen?"

"Not if I have anything to say about it, short stuff." She looked back at Merrick. "He dreams true?"

"Sometimes. Not always."

"Cole, I need to ask you one more thing."

"No, Tara." Shayla said. "It's enough."

__

"Deirbhile, Princess. And this is important, and it's just one thing."

"Let her ask." Merrick said quietly. Cole nodded vigorously.

"I want to help, Mama. I don't want Tara and Connor hurt." Connor looked up in surprise.

"You don't even know me."

"I don't care. Tara needs her Champion."

"Cole…"

"What does he mean?" Connor interrupted. "That's the second time he's said that. What does he mean?"

"It doesn't matter." Deirbhile said.

"I think it does."

"Stephen, just…"

"Don't tell me to wait, Deirbhile." Connor said quickly. "What did he mean?"

"You haven't told him, have you." Merrick said.

"Not now, Merrick!" Deirbhile looked back at Connor. "Angel's the Champion of the Powers That Be, right?"

"Yes…"

"You're mine." When he didn't say anything, she went on, "Merrick is mine, and his friends…or they were, anyway. Shayla is afraid Cole is mine too…"

"I'm not yours." Connor said suddenly.

"You are, Stephen."

"If I was yours you'd know what my name is."

"I do. It's Stephen."

"I thought it was Connor." Cole said to Shayla.

"So did I." Shayla agreed.

"It is Connor." Connor told them.

"No it's not. Connor is who Angel Inc wants you to be. Stephen is who you were raised…do you know how you were born?"

"Yes. I'm the bastard child…"

"Hey!" Merrick said sharply.

"He's being factual. Go on." Deirbhile said.

"…Of two demons."

"True, but not what I meant. Darla couldn't give birth to you. So she staked herself, right there on the path. She dusted, and you were left lying on the ground. The first thing you ever touched was the ground, Stephen, the earth."

"So what? That doesn't mean anything!"

"He's not taking this too well, is he." Merrick said quietly.

"You didn't do so well either, Merrick." Deirbhile reminded him. She looked back at Connor. "If Angel had touched you first, you would have belonged to the Powers. If Darla had, you'd have been something else entirely…but I got you. You're _my _Champion."

"I'm _not." _Connor protested.

"It's not so bad." Merrick said clinically. "Tara's fairly easy to work for."

"Not helping, Merrick." Deirbhile said through gritted teeth. "You don't have to do anything about it, Stephen. It doesn't mean anything."

"If I'm yours," Connor said, "why did you let me be sent there?"

"Not my choice, Stephen. Holtz wasn't mine; I couldn't do anything with him."

"Don't…you could have. If you'd wanted."

"This isn't the place for this."

"I don't care! Tell me. If I'm yours, why did you let my father take me?"

"Because it needed to happen. Holtz needed redemption, and he got that through loving you. And you needed to grow faster than you could here."

"Oh, and that's a great excuse for ruining my life."

"Better ruin it than end it." She rose to face him. "If you'd still been a baby you'd have died in the rain of fire. I know that. You had to grow, and that's not something I can do. So I just…" she shrugged.

"Didn't bother to do anything." Connor said bitterly.

"Don't think it was easy for me, Connor. Protecting you there wasn't possible. I had to believe in Holtz, and in you."

"Mama?" Cole asked softly. "Why are they fighting?"

"I don't know, love. Shush now."

"Was it really so bad, Stephen?" Deirbhile asked.

"The hell dimension? Oddly, yes."

"Really? Holtz loved you, you know. Just as much as his first children. He raised you as best he could. And you're strong, Connor, you're so strong…and you're as quick as Angel, and as smart as Darla, and you're not a vampire…"

"Vampire?" Merrick repeated sharply.

"_Not_ a vampire, I said." She hadn't looked away from Connor. "Shayla, you might want to take Cole away."

"Now you're thinking of him?" Shayla said.

"Princess…" Deirbhile turned, now, to look at her. "Cole's not one of mine. Not if you don't want him to be. But he _is _special, especially if he's dreaming true. Now please, take him away and let Connor finish yelling at me."

"You didn't ask me the one question yet." Cole said, pulling away from Shayla and standing up. "Everyone got angry, and you never asked."

"I didn't, did I, short stuff. OK. If I ask, will you go upstairs with your mom?"

"Are you going to yell?"

"No, I…"

"Not you." he interrupted. "Connor." He stepped around her to stare at Connor. "If you're gonna yell, I'm not leaving."

"Do you know what she did to me?"

"Yes." Cole nodded seriously. "She didn't stop you going to Quor'toth."

"Do you know how that feels?"

"_I _don't. But my father spent three thousand years in a tomb. Possessed." He thought for a minute, then added, "And my mom spent three thousand years asleep. Does that count?"

"No. How did you know it's Quor'toth?" Cole stared at him, confused, and he shook his head. "I've only been in this world for…"

"Eight months." Cole agreed, nodding again. "I've only been here four years."

"You didn't spend eighteen of those years in a hell dimension!"

"No. I didn't. Do you know how old Tara is?"

"No. Should I?"

"_I _don't. But it's very very old. She knew my parents before they went to sleep, and she was old then."

"So?" Connor demanded.

"When you came back from hell your family was still here, waiting for you. Tara doesn't get to have a family…not for long, anyway, because they die and she doesn't."

"Cole, stop it." Deirbhile said sharply.

"He ought to know."

"Stop it! Stop reading us like that. It's not good for you."

"I'm not reading you like anything, Cousin Tara." he protested. Deirbhile buried her head in her hands.

"I'm not good at this." Raising her head again, she looked at Merrick. "Did you know your son's empathic?"

"Is that what it is." Merrick said blandly. "He doesn't meet many people, so it doesn't often show up."

"You should have told me." Turning her back on him, she looked back at Cole. "In your dream, short stuff, could you tell when it was? Is it going to happen soon?"

"Three days."

"From now?" She glanced at Merrick.

"Give or take a couple days, he's usually right."

"All right. We'll remember." She crouched in front of Cole. "Thank you, Cole. We'll be extra careful. Now, go upstairs with your mom, ok?"

"Can I say one more thing?" He turned to Connor without waiting for an answer. "Before you knew you were her Champion, it didn't bother you that she didn't stop Quor'toth, right? And you keep saying you're not her Champion, right? So why does it matter now?"

"It changes things." Connor muttered.

"The Powers aren't particularly nice to Angel, come to think of it." Deirbhile mused. Looking up, she added, "Can we talk about this later, Stephen?"

"Why do you keep calling him Stephen?" Cole interrupted.

"Private joke."

"Not a joke." Connor muttered sulkily. He had the odd feeling he'd lost, but he couldn't understand what they'd been doing or why it didn't feel like Deirbhile had won.

"Can we wait? I promise we'll talk about it later, OK?"

"Whatever." He turned away, leaning against the wall next to the window.

Deirbhile turned back to Cole. "OK? No yelling. I promise."

"Don't go without you say goodbye first." he ordered, throwing his arms around her neck. Deirbhile lost her balance, flopping backwards with Cole grasped tightly between her arms, and landed at Merrick's feet. Merrich glared at them and then bent down, swinging Cole easily up and transferring him into Shayla's arms.

"I'll say goodbye before I go. I promise, Cole." Deirbhile took Merrick's hand and hauled herself to her feet. Shayla leaned briefly against her husband before leaving the room.

"OK. Hit me." Merrick leaned against the back of the couch and watched Deirbhile.

"Hit you?"

"With the 'go home, Merrick, you shouldn't be here, Merrick' speech."

"You're taking all the fun out of it."

"Boo hoo." Merrick glanced at Connor. "Are you in on this?"

"I'm just the escort."

"Angel wouldn't let me out without one." Deirbhile rolled her eyes.

"And Angel is…" Merrick stopped expectantly.

"My father." Connor said.

"In charge of the group." Deirbhile said at the same time.

"Did I mention he's a vampire?" Connor added.

"Now you're just being nasty." Deirbhile chided him.

"A vampire." Merrick repeated flatly. "What does that make you?" He glanced at Connor.

"We're not sure yet." Deirbhile said.

"You're not a 'we'." Connor muttered.

"Was there a reason you came, or did you just want to annoy me?"

"That's a bonus. I came because you would have killed Gunn if he'd come, and no one else was volunteering." She frowned, studying him. "What?"

"Were you worried about me or him?"

Connor shrugged uncomfortably. "Both, I guess."

Deirbhile studied him for another minute before smiling. "Thank you." Before he could answer she turned back to Merrick. "Go home, Merrick."

"No."

"At least send your family home. Have you seen the news? It's nighttime all the time in this city. It's not safe here."

"I know that. Why do you think I'm here?"

"You don't have to protect me anymore, Merrick. You never did."

"Cole wanted to come, you know." Merrick said. Connor glanced at Deirbhile, confused.

"Merrick's son is named after a friend. Cole's still in Turtle Cove, though." she added, looking back at Merrick.

"Because I made Alyssa ask him to stay home."

"Thank you. Now please, send Shayla and Cole home." Deirbhile was pacing, her words spilling out.

"I was planning to, but Cole wouldn't go until he'd talked to you. He's fond of you for some reason."

"Can't imagine why." Connor muttered. Deirbhile grimaced at him.

"Because he's four years old? Cole's fond of the mailman." Before Merrick could comment, she added, "Is there any chance you'd go with them, Merrick?"

"You don't want me here?"

"That's not it." Deirbhile looked across at Connor for a second. "You're my Champion, Merrick. You know that. You're always mine. But this isn't my fight, there's no reason for you to be here."

"Then why are you here?" Merrick challenged her. "If this isn't your fight? Why come here?"

"I needed to be here. And now it feels wrong to leave."

"Don't let that stop you." Connor put in. "We'd manage somehow."

"Wow, can you just feel the love?" Deirbhile said. "Stop talking, Stephen."

"You're not my boss."

"Just…"

"If you tell me to be quiet again…"

"You'll glower at me?" She turned back to Merrick. "It's not my fight. This is a demon, not…"

"An Org?" Merrick filled in when she hesitated.

"Yeah. I don't fight demons. But these," she gestured to Connor, "are the good guys and I want to help them."

"You're going to fight?" Merrick asked in surprise.

"If I have to. Merrick, this demon, this Beast, caused a rain of fire and blocked out the sun. Those are attacks on me. I'm entitled to defend myself."

"You're contradicting yourself." Connor told her. "You said it's not your fight, but you've just said you're going to fight anyway."

"Crap. Did I?" She looked at Merrick. "Was I making sense?"

"In spots. You're making this your fight when it isn't really."

"Right! Yes, and that's why you shouldn't be here. Because it's not really my fight and you have a family to protect."

"You're family, Tara."

"Not this time, Merrick. Please, take your son and your wife and go home." Merrick lowered his head for a long moment. "Please." Deirbhile whispered. "Don't make me lose another family." Connor looked up sharply, but she was focused on Merrick.

"I don't like it." he said finally, looking up. "But I'll go. _If _you promise to keep in touch and let me know if you need me."

"Always." Deirbhile wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his chest; Merrick held her lightly, not moving until she pulled away. "I always need you. But I'll let you know."

"See that you do. Now go and say goodbye to Cole." Deirbhile glanced at Connor.

"I won't be long."

"Oh, don't worry about me."

"I always worry about you, Stephen." She left the room without waiting for him to answer, leaving him alone with Merrick.

"She cares about you." Merrick said finally. Connor looked up at him.

"No, she doesn't. She came to see Lorne."

"Tara cares about very few people, you know. Everyone, in an abstract way…but there are people who are special to her."

"Champions?" Connor said bitterly.

"And others. She's told us about your group, you know."

"Really."

"Yes. Not much."

"She's only been here two days."

"More than enough for her." Connor pushed off the wall and paced closer to him.

"Three thousand years, huh?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I was possessed. My friends buried me so I wouldn't hurt them."

"Good friends."

"They were." He considered Connor for a moment. "Friends doesn't always mean they do what you want, you know. They do the best they can for you."

"That's very profound. Thanks." He bowed mockingly.

"Everyone getting along? Good, good." Deirbhile breezed back into the room, carrying Cole. "Here, Stephen, hold this." She swung the child into his arms.

"Why?" Connor asked suspiciously.

"I need to put my shoes on." Deirbhile sat down, picked up her shoes and looked back up. "Oh, honestly, Connor!"

"What?" Connor asked defensively. Cole wriggled uncomfortably…Connor was holding him under the arms, out away from him.

"Not like that, silly." She took Cole away from him again.

"Not so many babies in Quor'toth." Connor said defensively.

"We'll work on it." Deirbhile said. "Sit down, then."

"Why?"

"I still have to put on my shoes. Sit down." When he did, Cole scrambled into his lap and made himself comfortable.

"Why is your son sitting on me?" he asked Merrick.

"He's got an odd sense of the appropriate."

"And inappropriate." Deirbhile added, sitting up. "OK, short stuff, Connor and I have to go now."

"You just came." Cole protested, not moving.

"Get up or I'll push you off." Connor threatened half-heartedly.

Cole laughed. "It's like you're my brother. Wanna be my brother?"

"No." Connor tipped him off his lap onto the floor.

"Ow." Cole said cheerfully, clambering laboriously to his feet and climbing back onto the couch, sitting on the back of it with his feet between them. "If I hit you, will you hit back?"

"Yes."

"Do you dream?" The question was so wistful it caught Connor's attention; glancing up, he checked to make sure Deirbhile was still talking to Merrick before answering.

"Sometimes."

"What do you dream about?"

"Lots of things." When Cole just stared expectantly, he added, "My fathers. Fighting. Cor…" he broke off abruptly.

"Your fathers loved you." Cole said softly. Before Connor could say anything, he added, "I only remember my dreams when they haven't happened yet."

"Does that happen often?"

"Sometimes."

"Whatcha talkin' about, short stuff?" Deirbhile asked, leaning back into them.

"Dreams." Cole said cheerfully. Deirbhile studied him thoughtfully.

"Really?"

"Yup. He said he'd hit me back if I hit him, though."

"I'd trust him on that. I've seen him fight. Come on." She swung him off the back of the couch into Merrick's arms. "Now we have to leave, and you're going back home. So, listen. I'm going to call you as often as I can. I want you to listen for me in the evenings, OK? Around seven. I'll call if I can."

"OK." Cole agreed. Then his face fell. "Mama doesn't like it when I do that."

"All right. Then I'll ring you. On the phone. Will that be OK with Mama?"

"I guess."

"How were you going to call?" Connor asked.

"It's complicated." Deirbhile told him. "I'll ring you when I can, short stuff." She looked at Merrick. "I'll call."

"I'll listen." Merrick said quietly.

"Give the others my love."

"I will."

"And…"

"She's fine." Merrick interrupted her. "You should go."

"Yeah, we really should." She looked at Connor. "You want to walk, or shall we go the way we came?"

"I'm walking. You can do whatever you want."

"We need to talk, Connor." He stared at her.

"You called me Connor."

"Yeah…I guess I did. Come on, we need to get going." She looked once more at Merrick and Cole and then led the way out of the house.


	3. Awakenings, pt 2

Connor Awakening, Pt 2

Outside on the road she held out her hand to Connor. He looked at her questioningly.

"It's quicker, and safer."

"I thought you wanted to talk."

"We can do that at the hotel."

"Everyone's there."

"No one has to hear us."

"They want to bring Angelus back, you know."

"I know. That's why we have to hurry."

Connor shrugged finally and reached for her hand. "Do I have to close my eyes?"

"It's less disorienting that way."

"Go ahead." He closed his eyes, and she smiled and gestured with her other hand.

"You're back." Fred said in surprise when they came back into the lobby.

"I told you we would, Fred." Deirbhile said, glancing around. "Where is everyone?"

Fred made a face. "Downstairs making a cage…I think."

"They're going to do it? How?" Connor asked.

"Wes found a sage who can remove and restore souls. Angel's not very happy about it, but he agreed."

"I don't blame him." Deirbhile murmured.

"Ah, Connor." Wes came up from the basement. "We could use your help downstairs."

"I'm busy right now. Maybe later." Connor caught Deirbhile's arm and propelled her towards the stairs.

"We won't be long. We're going to fight." Deirbhile explained.

"Fight? Why?" Fred asked.

"Stephen's mad at me. It won't take long." The pair disappeared down a corridor, leaving the others alone in the lobby.

"Why would Connor be mad at her?" Fred asked, frowning.

"I don't know. Particularly since I have no idea who she is."

"Oh. Right. She…it's a long story."

"Tell me later then. Did you get the, ahh…"

"Yes. I'll just…" She gestured vaguely and turned away.

"Ow." Deirbhile commented mildly. Connor pushed her through the door into her room and closed it behind them.

"Tell me what happened." he demanded.

"Stephen, you're…"

"And stop calling me that!" He glared at her. "Only my father calls me that."

"You're going to have to be more specific." she said gently. "What do you want me to explain?"

"Everything! Since when am I a Champion?"

"Angel told you when he…came back, after the summer."

"What…'life is hard so be a good boy'?" Connor said.

"Not…quite." She leaned back against the wall, considering. "I was listening then; wasn't easy, this place is so old…Angel told you that Champions come when life is hard. That…"

"I remember the speech." Connor interrupted her.

"Right. The world is in trouble; it's slowly dying. My Champions are rising in response, and you are the best. The brightest. Angel was wrong, you know." she added. "You've been a Champion all your life. He's just not looking for the right things."

"How long have you been watching us?"

"Watching's not the right word. I've always been aware of you. I tend not to watch people unless something really important's happening."

"Like him coming back?" Connor asked bitterly.

"I couldn't care less what Angel's doing. He's not my Champion."

"And I am."

"If you ever talk to Cole again, ask him about the time you were gone."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't move, speak, eat, or—as far as I remember—breathe the whole time. Way too busy watching LA for you."

"You knew I'd come back?"

"I knew you'd try. I knew you wouldn't stop until you made it back…not unless something stopped you. And I knew it'd be soon, because I knew Quor'toth is so much quicker than here."

"Are you crying?"

"Yeah. A little bit."

"Why?"

"For you." She looked up at him. "Holtz loved you, right? Tell me he loved you."

"He did."

"And…he took care of you?"

"He kept me alive." Connor took a careful step towards her. "Why are you crying?"

She shrugged. "Someone ought to. No one here did, I know that. What you lost…" She looked down. "I don't blame you for being angry with me, Connor. But even if you don't forgive me, try and remember something. Remember I did the best I could for you."

"I'm not angry." Connor muttered, turning away.

"You're…not?"

"No. Not anymore. Cole's good."

"The kid's a genius." She moved, slipping around him to face him. "Really not?"

"Explain some things to me."

"Anything."


	4. Awakenings, pt 3

Author's note: Hey! Reviews! Score!

Thanks, TP96 (hope I got that right!) and Andrea, lovely to hear from you as always. Keep reviewing!

Previously on Angel: Wesley finds a sage who claims he can safely remove and restore Angel's soul, as long as it's kept in a vessel called the Muo-Ping. The team decide to take the risk in order to find out what Angelus knows about the Beast.

PS: This section takes place immediately the credits have rolled on Awakening, if you were wondering.

Connor Awakening Pt 3

"Angelus." Cordelia breathed. Behind her, the Mu Ping glowed brightly.

The group turned to go upstairs and found Deirbhile standing, staring at the jar.

"What?" Connor demanded. "What is it?"

"He's dreaming." she murmured, trailing her fingers lightly over the jar.

"Careful…" Fred muttered.

"Who's dreaming? Angelus?" Wesley asked.

"No, he's awake." Deirbhile pointed out. "Angel's dreaming."

"What about?" Cordelia asked.

"A happy ending." She looked at Connor. "Two days."

"I know."

"Two days to what?" Wesley asked.

"We'll…tell you upstairs." Deirbhile stepped back away from the table before turning around and heading upstairs.

"How does his happy ending work?" Connor asked, falling into step beside her.

"There's a sword. The sword of Bosh'ma'od. You, and him, and Cordelia and Wesley go and find it, and he kills the Beast. You and he make up; the sun comes back…" She shrugged. "Happily ever after."

"Life doesn't work that way."

"I know." She smiled faintly. "It'd be nice, though."

"So what's happening in two days?" Gunn asked as they reached the lobby.

"Can he hear us from here, Connor?" Deirbhile asked.

"Probably. I could."

Deirbhile crossed back to stand next to the door. "Can you explain it to them? I need to concentrate on this."

"What are you doing?" Cordelia asked.

"Air's not really my element, but I think I can make a barrier. Stop air going from here to there."

"And block the sound vibrations." Wesley finished.

"Yeah, but I can't do it for long. So hurry on."

"Her friend's psychic. He says we're going to be attacked, in the hotel, by the Beast, in two days. Or maybe three. He wasn't sure." Connor said.

"And what happens?" Fred asked.

"Everyone dies," Connor said bluntly, "we assume. He didn't see the ending."

"You didn't ask?" Wesley said. Connor glanced at Deirbhile, who bit her lip and shrugged helplessly.

"He didn't see it." Connor repeated finally.

"So what exactly happens?" Gunn asked.

"Angelus knows what we're doing." Deirbhile warned them. "I can't keep this up much longer."

"The Beast comes in. I attack him, he throws me over the counter into Deirbhile. Gunn throws an ax; it ricochets and nearly hits Fred. The Beast picks up my sword and throws it at Fred. Then he throws Wesley into Gunn, and that's all we got." Connor was still watching Deirbhile.

"So…where am I?" Cordelia asked.

"And me." Lorne agreed.

"He didn't say." Deirbhile muttered. "I have to let this go now. I can't hold it any longer."

"Do so." Wesley said. Deirbhile backed away from the door and dropped into the nearest chair, holding her head in her hands. "Two days?"

"He said three. He's usually right to within a day." Deirbhile said without looking up.

"I wonder if we could uninvite him." Fred mused.

"We never invited him in the first place." Cordelia pointed out. "He's not a vampire. He doesn't need an invite, so revoking it isn't going to do any good."

"Oh. Yeah." Fred murmured.

"Can you do anything?" Wesley asked Deirbhile.

"Tell you when he's coming, Wesley. That's about it. There's nothing for me to work with here."

"That'll be a help." Cordelia muttered.

"Fred, we need to lock that away." Wesley gestured to the Mu Ping in her hands and headed into the office.

"Where are you going?" Cordelia asked Deirbhile. She stopped just inside the doors.

"I don't really want to stay here and listen to Angelus tearing strips off you, thanks ever so."

"You should stay here." Gunn told her.

"There's no danger for me outside, Gunn." she said patiently.

"He's right." Connor said quickly. "You should stay."

"You're not."

"Someone has to patrol. There'll be vampires coming from all over now."

"I know." She nodded. "Just…be careful, OK?"

"Always." he answered.

"Good enough." She glanced around the lobby. "I'll just go upstairs then, I guess. I'll be there if you…" Trailing off, she murmured something else to Connor and then headed upstairs.

"What'd she say?" Gunn asked, once she was out of sight.

"It's private." Connor said flatly, crossing to the weapons cabinet and beginning to sort through the weapons there. Once he had what he wanted, he left the lobby, heading for the sewer entrance.

Connor dreamed that night.

What he'd told Cole was true, as far as it went; he did dream a lot about fighting, or his fathers, or fighting his fathers. Sometimes he dreamed about Cordelia. But he didn't dream often, and when he did he rarely remembered them well.

This was different. He'd never seen this place, though it reminded him oddly of Deirbhile's house on the outskirts of LA. He didn't know the people here, either, with the exception of Merrick. While they weren't actually ignoring him…they'd all acknowledged his presence…they were making no particular effort to draw him into the various conversations, either.

Ignoring them for the moment, he looked around him. This definitely wasn't LA; the sun was shining brightly, but that wasn't it. There was something indefinably quiet about this place. LA never slept; even now it was busy, albeit with vampires and demons rather than people. This place was calm and quiet.

"Do you like it?" He half-turned to see Deirbhile standing beside him.

"Deirbhile. Are you doing this?"

"Doing it, no. I'm…" she hesitated briefly. "Facilitating it."

"Facilitating it." Connor shook his head slightly.

"Do you remember what Cordelia told you?"

"Yeah." He looked away. "She doesn't want me."

"Before that. You've had no childhood, no friends…"

"So?"

"So we're trying to…make it up isn't right, because you can't make up for that. We're trying to give you some of that back."

"This isn't my home." He gestured around them.

"It could be. If you want it." She looked at the people wandering around. "These are my friends."

"Your Champions?" Connor asked.

"Not the way you are. They sort of stumbled into it. You're mine in a very special way."

"Gee, thanks." Connor muttered. Deirbhile smiled and continued.

"These people aren't real, not the way you and I are. They're drawn from my memories, as is this place."

"Why isn't there anything from my memories?"

"Because your memories are all painful, or nearly all, and the object of this is to help you feel better, not worse. These people will accept you for who you are. The sun will always shine here; nothing here will hurt you." She reached out to touch the side of his face gently. "Think of it as your own happy ending, if you like."

"There's no such thing." he said quietly. Deirbhile let her hand drop away from him.

"There is this time. This is not a trick, Steph…Connor. I'm not asking you to do anything. Just relax and enjoy it."

"You said we."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. You said we're trying to make it up to you."

"Did I?"

"Who else?" He caught her arm, turning her to look at him.

"They're sort of Powers-That-Be, but not the ones Angel's working for. Others. They're a lot older, and they owe me." She shrugged. "They don't have a name, so I can't tell you any better than that."

"What do they owe you for?"

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." She laughed out loud at the look on his face. "Pop culture references…over your head. I'll have to remember that."

"So why do they owe you?"

"It's not really something I can explain, Ste…Connor."

He looked away, back at the house and the people who were now apparently playing frisbee. "You can call me Stephen if you want." he muttered.

"Really?"

"Did you mean what you said earlier?"

"I said a lot of things earlier."

"That you're always watching me."

"Oh, that. Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, of course I'm always watching you. I'm always with you." She studied him carefully. "You've really never felt it?"

"I thought it was…" he gestured briefly. "All the people there. In LA. I can always sense them, all the time. I thought you were just another of them."

Deirbhile picked her way through that sentence. "But you can feel me?"

"I guess." He shrugged, suddenly disinterested, and Deirbhile let the topic drop.

"Do you want to meet the others?"

"I know Merrick."

"This Merrick doesn't know you, though. Remember, he's drawn from my memories of this place."

"Who are they all?"

"Cole, Taylor, Alyssa, Danny, and Max." She pointed each of them out as she said their names. "They were a group here that battled…the bad guys."

"What bad guys?" Connor asked.

"The bad…oh, you weren't there. There was a group here, spawned out of the earth; not demons, the way you understand it, something different. And this group fought them for a long time before ever I got involved."

"Stumbled into it." Connor murmured.

"Yes. They didn't know they were working for me, not until long after it was all over. And of all of them, only Merrick and Cole were ever mine, really. And I haven't called them in a long time." She looked up at him. "Do you want to meet them?"

"No. Let's just…" he looked around. "Let's just enjoy the sun."

"I guess you don't get to do that much, being a vampire hunter."

"No. Not so much."

Deirbhile called something to the group near the house; a minute later, the man she'd identified as Danny came across with a blanket. Deirbhile thanked him and spread it out on the ground, dropping to sit on it.

"It doesn't bite, Stephen." she said lightly, and he grimaced at her before dropping next to her.

"It's nice here." he murmured after a minute, and she smiled faintly.

"It is, isn't it? I miss it."

"How long have you been gone?" She shrugged, lying back and looking upwards.

"I left before Cole was born."

"You mean Merrick's son, right? How come he's not here?"

"Because this memory is from before he was born. That's also why Shayla's not here; she didn't come here very often in those days."

"And now?"

"They live in my house now."

"Why?" Deirbhile propped herself up on her elbows, thinking.

"I told you my house in LA was special in a very particular way."

"I remember."

"That's because it's built on what used to be a temple to me. Or maybe not to me, specifically. Every culture had an earth god or goddess, though, and there's power in those places. I look for them, wherever I go."

"This place?" Connor gestured around them, but Deirbhile shook her head.

"No. Turtle Cove's different…the people who lived here before worshipped animals, not gods."

"Are you going to bring the others here?" Connor asked, studying the blanket between his feet. He knew they were only halfway through the explanation, but this was important.

"No." Deirbhile replied instantly. "Not a chance…unless you want them." He looked up, staring at her.

"Why not?"

"This is your_ place. My friends are here but they won't come near you if you don't want…they're only here so you're not alone. I'll bring anyone you want here, Stephen, but only those you want."_

"I want to wake up now." he murmured, and Deirbhile nodded slowly.

"All right."

Connor sat bolt upright, staring around. The room was dark, and he could hear some of the others moving around downstairs. Without thinking he identified the movements—_Gunn, Cordelia, Wesley, Lorne, Cordelia again—_and then slid out of bed, leaving his room and moving down the corridor towards the stairs.

Fred was on the landing, doing something, and he brushed past her without paying attention. "Where're you going, Connor?" she called after him.

"To talk to Deirbhile."

"She's downstairs." Connor came to a halt, listening to the lobby again.

"No she's not."

"She's in the basement."

"What? What's she doing in the basement?"

"Angelus won't talk to her, or to us when she's there. It wasn't our idea, Connor."

"How long has she been there?"

"An hour, maybe."

"Down there with him for an hour?" He pushed past her again, crossing the lobby without looking around, heading straight for the basement.

"Connor, wait." Cordelia said from behind him.

"I'm busy."

"Connor!" She caught his sleeve. "What is it?"

"I need to talk to Deirbhile."

"Why?" Cordelia searched his face.

"I need to ask her something." He glanced across at the monitor. Deirbhile must have been sitting right under the camera, because only her feet were visible; she was humming softly, and Angelus was sitting in the extreme back of the cage, glaring at her.

"He hasn't spoken since she went down there." Wesley said, following his gaze. "If I didn't know better, I'd say he was afraid of her."

"Yeah. Interesting." Connor pulled away from Cordelia and headed for the stairs again.

"Whoa there, kid." Lorne intercepted him.

"Why don't you want me to talk to her?" Connor demanded.

"That's not it." Cordelia said. "We're just…" She glanced around for help; when none was forthcoming, she went on, "We're not ready for more Angelus-talking. Deirbhile's keeping him quiet."

"I don't care." He went around Lorne and downstairs.

"Kid's getting worse." Gunn commented.

"He's worried about something." Cordelia turned to the monitor.

Connor stopped a few steps up from Deirbhile, just out of view of the camera. Angelus watched them both closely, but he didn't say anything. Deirbhile's hum trailed off.

"What just happened?" he asked, keeping his voice low.

"You were there."

"But you weren't." She turned at that to look at him.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you're here. For the past hour, Fred says."

"So?" She shrugged. "I can be here and there at the same time." Connor stared and she added quickly, "I can't do very much here, mind." Angelus uncoiled to his feet, and she looked over, smiling. "Yeah, Angelus. I couldn'ta stopped you before, but now I can, so sit back down like a good boy, huh?"

"Why don't you make me?" Angelus snarled.

"Oh. Try me." Deirbhile stood slowly and wandered towards the cage. She'd covered half the space when Angelus slid back down to sit on the floor.

"How do you do that?" Connor asked. Deirbhile looked back over her shoulder at him.

"I've only known Angel two days, Stephen. I won't risk Angelus getting loose, even if it means no more Angel, and he knows it. I can set him on fire from here if I need to, and it wouldn't bother me. He's just a vampire. Dead meat walking." She was facing Connor, though, and her eyes said something very different.

"Let's go upstairs." he said after a minute. She nodded, following him up without looking back at Angelus.

"Nice bluff." Cordelia said when they reached the lobby.

"It won't work much longer. Angelus is smart enough for that."

"Where are you going now?" Gunn asked.

"Out into the courtyard. Stephen and I want to talk."

"Is he still mad at you?" Fred asked.

"No, we're over that. I think." Deirbhile smiled brightly and headed out into the courtyard.

"Connor?" Cordelia intercepted him. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure." He followed her to one side of the lobby.

"Listen, I've been doing some research on Deirbhile."

"Have you." Connor tilted his head slightly.

"She does this, Connor. She turns up somewhere all friendly, hangs around until she gets bored, then she just takes off without warning."

"Sounds like everyone else in my life." Connor muttered.

"Hey. I came back, didn't I?" Cordelia demanded.

"Whatever. We done?"

"Connor…" Cordelia reached out to touch his face. "I don't want you to be hurt."

"She's my friend." Connor said quickly. "I'm allowed have friends, right?"

"Of course you are, just…be careful, OK?"

"I'm always careful." Connor pulled away from her and crossed the lobby, heading out into the courtyard.

"OK. Someone needs to teach that kid some manners." Gunn said.

"He's having a rough time. Let him be." Cordelia said.

Deirbhile was leaning against the rail, staring out over the garden, when Connor caught up with her. She didn't move for a long minute, still staring out; finally she turned, putting her back to the rail.

"You're not comfortable here, are you." Connor said.

"No. These plants are dying, Stephen, and so is everything else in LA. That hurts me." She shook her head. "Don't worry about that. What did you want to ask?"

"What happened?"

"In the dream?" He nodded, and she shrugged. "You were there. You saw everything."

"How do you…how does it work?" She looked steadily at him.

"It doesn't work with other people, Stephen. Only with you, because you're mine."

"I'm not." he muttered half-heartedly. To his surprise, she laughed.

"I should stop saying it that way…no one has been mine the way you are for…a very long time. Longer than I want to think about. There are those who do my work, but I haven't…"

"I'm _not _yours." Connor interrupted her.

"Stephen." She caught his shoulder, pulled him around to face her. "I'm not asking anything from you. We don't have to dream if you don't want, I'm not asking you to do anything…just be who you are. That's all I need."

Connor pulled away from her and stood staring at the courtyard for a long time. Deirbhile waited patiently, not moving or speaking, for him to gather his thoughts.

When he did finally speak it was a non sequitur. "Why are you so worried about my name?"

"Stephen, I couldn't care less what your name is. I would call you Paddington Bear if that was what you wanted." Connor turned to stare at her, and she smiled. "I want to call you something you want me to call you. Connor and Stephen…they're not the whole of you."

"Deirbhile's not you."

"It's good enough…" At the look on his face, she added, "Call me whatever you want, Stephen. It doesn't matter."

"Merrick called you Tara."

"He did. Tara is what he and his friends knew me as."

"You like it?"

"Tara's very special to me." He nodded slowly.

"It's a good name."

"Merrick said that about Deirbhile." she mused.

"What does it mean?"

"Which? Tara? Star." She laughed suddenly. "Or craggy hill, depending on what language you're using."

"I like Star."

"Call me that then."

He shook his head. "Tara's nice."

"It is. But do you think…" she trailed off.

"What?"

"Well, no one thinks anything of it when I call you Stephen. If you suddenly start calling me Tara…"

"You don't want them to know we're…" he hesitated.

"Whatever we are?" she filled in. "It's not that, Connor. Just…go with me on this for now, all right? Call me Tara all you want but not where anyone can hear us."

"Did you dream with Merrick?"

"I've never dreamt with anyone." She was utterly serious. "Not my brother. Not my husband. Just you."

"It was nice to feel sun."

"It'll be back." She looked upwards; it was just past noon, and the darkness blotting out the sun was just visible overhead.

"You sound so certain."

"I _am_ so certain. I have to be."

"Why?"

"Someone has to be." She turned away and went back inside then.

"Kid?" Connor turned to see Lorne standing in the door. "You coming in?"

"I'm coming."

"You OK?"

"Just thinking."

"Anything I can help with?" Connor studied him.

"Can you read Deirbhile?"

"Not much. Why?"

"Why is she here?"

"I thought it was to help me, but now I'm thinkin' maybe it's the major bad mojo."

"It hurts her being here. The sun…it's killing her." He glanced at Lorne, then away. "She's starting to act odd again."

"Maybe it's something else, then."

"What is…"

"Connor?" Deirbhile was at the door. "Cordelia wants you, please."

"Are you all right?"

"No. Cordelia wants you."

"What's…" He cut himself off when she turned away.

"She called you Connor." Lorne noted.

"She does, sometimes." Connor wasn't really listening to Lorne any more; instead he was tracking Deirbhile's far too slow progress through the hotel lobby and upstairs.

"Must have missed the memo. Coming?"

"Yes." Connor followed him quietly inside.


	5. Soulless

Author's note: We're into the second section of the story; this is _Deirbhile._

Previously on Angel: The AI team attempted to enlist the Sisterhood of the Svrer to help battle the Beast, only to discover he'd been there before them and slaughtered the family.

Deirbhile Soulless

After the debacle at the Svrer house, Connor wanted nothing more than a shower and a rest. But he found himself hesitating outside Deirbhile's door.

Just to see if she's all right, he thought finally, tapping on the door. _She didn't look well when we left._

In fact Deirbhile hadn't even said goodbye when they left, which was unusual for her; she'd been sitting in the lobby as they suited up, but she'd left without saying anything before they were done.

There was no answer to his knock, and he pushed the door open without stopping to think. The room was lit, brightly, every light turned on and three candles burning on the bedside table; Connor hesitated for a second, letting his eyes adjust. Deirbhile was lying on the bed, curled on her side with her back to the door, and while she must have heard him she didn't react.

"Tara?" He used the new name hesitantly; she didn't answer, and he took a step closer. "What's wrong?"

"They're dead, aren't they." He nodded without thinking, and she sighed faintly. "I thought they were."

"Are you sick?"

"Yes." She pushed herself upright in the bed. "But it's not anything you can help with, so don't worry about it." He smiled faintly, and she ducked her head, acknowledging the ridiculousness of that sentence.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, looking around. "Why is it so bright in here?"

"I can't stand the _dark _anymore. LA's dying, Stephen…the bits of it that matter to me, anyway. I can't…I thought I could stop it, but it just won't…" She shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself.

Connor looked away, twisting his fingers together. "Maybe…you should leave. Go back to Turtle Cove."

"No." She didn't even hesitate, and Connor looked up in surprise.

"Why not?"

"Two reasons. Turtle Cove's not that far from LA anyway; if this spreads it won't take long to get there."

"And?" Connor asked when she didn't go on.

"And, Stephen, if I leave LA I have to leave you. I don't want to do that if I can help it."

"You're dying here."

"Yeah." She rose to her feet, wandering towards the window.

"So why stay?"

"Why do you?" She turned back to look at him. "You're not so fond of anyone here that you'd miss them. And the Beast could kill you the next time you fight."

"He won't." Connor said with absolute certainty.

"Sorry. But why?"

Connor shrugged uncomfortably. "I…hadn't ever thought about it."

"We could go." Deirbhile came back to the bed, sitting carefully on the edge of it. Connor could see how tired she was, though. "Both of us."

"What…and live with Merrick and Shayla?"

"No. Not necessarily. Anywhere you want, Stephen."

"We'll talk about it when you're not about to fall over."

"I'm not!" she protested, but she was sagging even as she spoke.

"Yes, you are. Get some rest." He stood. "I'm going to…"

"Don't go." She sat upright, catching at his hand.

"I need a shower." He gently unhooked her hand from his sleeve. "But I won't be long, OK? I'll be back soon."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She was dozing when he came back, curled on the bed again. He sat carefully beside her, watching to see if she was awake.

"I'm awake." she murmured.

"I know."

"Feel better?"

"Mmmm."

She rolled over to look at him. "Was it really bad?"

"Pretty. They were just little kids, you know?"

"Yeah." She reached up to touch his face gently. "You're doing your best, Stephen. Try not to worry about it."

"Easy for you to say." he muttered, pulling away from her hand.

"Not really, no." She started to sit up, hesitated, then suddenly lunged out of bed and ran for the bathroom. Startled, Connor nearly fell off the other side.

"Tara?!"

"Stay there!" she ordered from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Like I'm going to go off and leave you like that."

"That wasn't what I was…worried about…oh crap…" She threw up, nosily, and Connor vaulted off the bed and across to the door.

"Deirb…Tar…what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Her voice was very tired. "It's nothing. I'm fine now." Connor backed away from the door as she came out.

"You're not fine."

"Am too." She stumbled on the way back to the bed, but she made it without falling. "I'm just tired, that's all."

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"I just did. I'm tired, Stephen, and LA isn't good for me anyway."

"That's what you always say."

"Because it's always true." She flopped backwards, too tired to sit up any more. "LA _hurts _me."

"I should…" He backed towards the door.

"Don't." Her voice was barely audible.

"I have to. I have…I have something to do."

"OK." She forced her eyes open. "Come back?"

"I will. Go to sleep."

"It's not the same when we can't dream." She rolled over, almost asleep.

"Dream without me."

"S'not the…same." Connor waited until he was sure she was asleep; then he noiselessly left the room and went downstairs.

"Lorne."

The demon startled when Connor spoke from just beside him; the kid had a bad habit of sneaking up on people.

"You feeling better, kid?"

"Yeah. Much. I need something."

"What's up?"

"The number, the one Ta…Deirbhile asked you to call." Lorne studied him for a minute.

"Something wrong?"

"She's sick. Her friends…" He hesitated, glancing around to make sure no one was listening before finishing, "They'd want to know."

Lorne nodded slowly. "I can see that. Want me to do it?"

"No. I've talked to them, I'll do it."

"She's really sick?"

"LA's killing her, and she won't leave."

"You think they'll persuade her?"

"They'd want the chance to try." Lorne nodded again, fishing in one of his pockets until he pulled out a slightly dog-eared piece of paper.

"I'll leave you to it, then."

"Thanks." Connor didn't look at him as he pulled the phone towards himself.


	6. Calvary

Author's Note: QueenC, I'd email this to you but you were too cowardly to leave your email. If you don't like the story, don't bother reading it. Unfortunately for you, you're not the boss of what I post.

Previously on _Angel_: Angel's soul, temporarily removed to allow Angelus to surface, was stolen from the hotel. Lilah Morgen, once of Wolfram and Hart, snuck in to try and kill Angelus; when caught, she offered to help the team stop the Beast.

Deirbhile: Calvary

Deirbhile wandered down into the lobby later on; she sat on the back of the seat, legs crossed, and watched them for five minutes before actually asking what was going on.

"We're going to re-ensoul Angel." Cordelia told her.

"Wu Pang needs all this stuff?" Deirbhile gestured at the herbs and talismans.

"No, we do."

Deirbhile blinked. "Cordelia, I've been upstairs for nearly two days. What's going on?"

"Connor didn't tell you?" Fred asked.

"No. He didn't. What is it?"

"Angel's soul is missing." Fred explained. "Cordelia had a vision, and there's a spell we can use to re-ensoul him. That's what we need all this stuff for."

"Complex spell." Deirbhile eyed it cautiously. "Why is Lilah here?"

"She snuck in." Lorne said. "You OK, kiddo?"

"Not, no." She shifted slightly. "Do you want help?"

"I think that's a bad idea." Cordelia said from behind her.

"Why?" Lorne asked.

"Because I'm an Elf. I have magic, and sometimes it…reacts badly with other magicks." Deirbhile shrugged. "I don't care."

The door banged open, and everyone automatically looked over to see Gunn and Connor come in. Gunn was holding a severed head, which he set down on the counter. Connor glanced at Deirbhile, but before he could say anything, Cordelia reminded them the head had to be skinned, and he and Gunn were sent to do it.

Everyone but Wesley drifted away after that, and Lilah came downstairs. The lawyer had been carefully avoiding everyone until now. "So who are you? You haven't been here before."

Deirbhile glanced up, looking a little bemused. "Excuse me? What, are you recruiting? Wolfram and Hart's dead, Lilah. At least for now."

"A girl can't be curious?"

"Not when the girl's you. Wesley, please ask your girlfriend to leave me alone."

"She's not my girlfriend, and if she was she still wouldn't do anything I told her to."

"Wesley?" Fred came out of the inner office, halting on the threshold. "Cordelia had…a question."

"The spell's almost ready." Connor said a few minutes later. Skull cleaned, he'd come back to the lobby and settled beside Deirbhile.

"Yeah."

"Are you coming?"

"Can't. Elf magic doesn't mix with what you're doing."

"But you don't have to do anything."

"I know. The magic's part of me." She looked at him curiously. "What happened while you were out? Did the soul eater try to eat your soul?"

"We dealt."

"You like Gunn."

"He's…an adequate warrior."

"He's not on your level, I agree, but then who is? Except Angel, of course."

Connor stared at her. "I can never figure out where your conversations are going."

"I'm a bit loopy at the minute. It'll pass."

"Loopy?"

"Crazy. Sorry." She suddenly looked up, sliding off the seat. "Did you call Turtle Cove?"

"Yes."

"What? Why?"

"Because you're sick."

"Yes, but you shouldn't…oh, Stephen, you're making this harder."

"Why? I thought…I thought they'd want to know."

"Undoubtedly, they'd want to know." she reassured him. "But now that they know they're gonna want to come here. I barely got rid of Merrick the last time."

"I thought they could help."

"You…" She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. You're right…you did the right thing. Thank you." She turned and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To find Merrick. He's coming into town, and he won't be going to the house."

"Look…" Connor caught her arm. "You can barely stand up. You can't go out there alone."

"I'll be better out there, Stephen, and they need you here for the spell." She pulled away from him. "I have to go. I'll be back in a while."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Go re-ensoul Angel. I'll be here later." She stopped suddenly, staring at the door. "Stephen?"

"Yeah?"

"It's been three days, hasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"But nothing's happened."

Connor shrugged. "Maybe Cole was picking up Angel's dream. We were attacked here, right? In his dream?"

"Yeah, but I don't think…that doesn't sound right." She shook her head quickly. "I guess I shouldn't be complaining. I'm gonna…" she gestured to the door, and Connor nodded, watching her leave.

She came back just as they were leaving to find Angelus, as it turned out; Connor gave her a quick, 'Stay here' and left Cordelia to explain it to her.

"Where have you been?" Cordelia asked.

"Out. Why is everyone panicking?"

"Angelus is loose." Lilah told her.

"Oh. Oh well." She shrugged and turned to go upstairs.

"Where are you going now?" Cordelia demanded.

"Upstairs. See? These are the stairs, and I'm going up them."

"Not funny. Angelus is loose out there!"

"And we're in here. Did you uninvite him?"

"Public housing. No invite necessary." Lilah reminded her.

"He's not going to attack me anyway. Angelus knows who I am." Deirbhile sat down on the bottom step. "I'll sit here and chase him away if you want."

"We wouldn't want to put you out." Lilah said. Deirbhile shrugged again and got up.

"Okay. I'll be upstairs then." And without looking back she went upstairs and left them in the lobby.

"Idiot!" Cordelia said sharply.

"What? I don't even know who she is. How was I supposed to know she was serious?"

"It's called not shooting your mouth off, Lilah!"

"It's called give me a break, Cordelia."

"Shut up the both of you." Deirbhile was standing at the rail above.

"Why? You want to give an inspiring speech?" Lilah asked mockingly.

"No. I'm serious, Lilah, shut up for a minute." Lilah snorted, glancing at Cordelia. Cordelia, for her part, was watching Deirbhile.

"He's here, isn't he." she said quietly. Deirbhile nodded.

"Almost. The others won't be back in time." She looked down at them. "I can't _stop _him. There's nothing for me to work with in here. He won't attack me but I can't keep him away from you."

"We'll manage." Cordelia said. "Go hide; he doesn't know you're back, and we want to keep it that way."

"Won't he smell her?" Lilah protested.

"No. He won't." Deirbhile hesitated briefly, looking down at them. "Be _careful, _Cordelia."

"Go, before he gets here." Cordelia said quickly. Deirbile nodded and headed quickly down the corridor and out of sight again.

"So now what? We sit around and wait?"

"Yeah." Cordelia sank back into the chair, touching her head lightly. "It won't be long."

"Cordelia…" Lilah started, but she didn't have time to finish before Angelus was standing in the doorway.

Lilah fired, six times, aiming straight at him. But the vampire was too quick for her, dodging and ducking the bullets. Cordelia fired her crossbow; he caught the bolt and flung it back at her, catching her in the leg. Lilah bolted, running for the nearest corridor.

In her room, Deirbhile sat crosslegged, tracking them as best she could. The hotel was difficult to use like that; it was very old, and there was little life left in it. But she could get snatches; she knew Cordelia was down, and she knew Lilah had run past her door a minute ago. She had no idea where Angelus was, but even if he came into her room, he wouldn't touch her; she knew Angelus was afraid of her, as most demons were.

She opened her eyes and rose to her feet, leaving her room.


	7. Salvage

Author's note: Yay! More readers! Stary, thanks very much. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Merykey-7…good question! Tara never knew Cordelia when she wasn't possessed, is all I can say. She can't sense properly around the Hellmouth, so she didn't ever know Cordelia. Make sense?

Previously, on _Angel_: With Angel's soul apparently restored, his friends scattered to begin preparations to bring down the Beast. Angelus had tricked them, however, and while the hotel was almost empty he returned to chase Cordelia and Lilah.

Deirbhile Salvage

"Deirbhile." Lorne looked up as she came into the lobby. "You all right, kiddo?"

"He hasn't hurt me." She looked at Cordelia. "Is she…"

"She'll be fine." Wesley said shortly. "Where is Angelus?"

"Somewhere in the hotel. I don't know."

"And Lilah?" Gunn asked, not expecting an answer.

"Third floor west corridor." She looked around at them. "What?"

"You can't track Angelus, but you know where Lilah is?"

"She hasn't moved in the last ten minutes." Deirbhile pulled away from them, moving to stand behind Connor who was helping Cordelia sit down.

"Why not?" Gunn asked, but Wesley was already heading for the stairs and he groaned and followed him at a run.

Deirbhile looked up briefly before looking back at Cordelia. Connor was getting ready to pull out the crossbow bolt from her leg.

"Cordelia." Deirbhile said quietly, catching Connor's wrist. He glanced up at her but didn't say anything, and she went on, "Did you put anything on the bolt?"

"What?"

"Did you tip it with anything?"

"Like what?"

"Sedative? Muscle paralyser, anything like that."

"No." Cordelia took a deep breath before adding, "We weren't expecting him back, remember? It's just wood."

"Good."

"Let me get something to tie around her leg." Fred said.

"I'll do that." Lorne hurried away somewhere, and Deirbhile straightened back up, looking away.

"What?" Connor asked.

"Nothing. Sorry." She leaned back down. "Cordelia, once Stephen takes out the bolt I can get rid of any infection for you, if you want."

"What's the catch?" Cordelia was oddly breathless.

"It might hurt a bit." Deirbhile considered it. "Not as much as getting shot, or having the bolt pulled out again, though." Connor looked up again at that, but he was spared from saying anything when Lorne came back with a belt. At the same time, Wesley and Gunn came back downstairs.

Deirbhile looked back down at the sickening sound the bolt made coming out of Cordelia's leg. Fred looked very upset, but she kept her cool, tying off the belt and reaching for the bandages. Deirbhile stopped her, reaching out to touch Cordelia's leg lightly.

"How is she?" Wesley asked.

"She's lost a lot of blood." Connor stood up, moving out of Deirbhile's way. "Where's…"

"He got away." Gunn said grimly, then, "He killed Lilah."

Everyone stopped for a second, staring at him; then Connor grabbed blindly for the nearest weapon and headed upstairs at a run, and Cordelia cursed softly. Deirbhile backed away from her, and Fred started with the bandages again.

"Oh, god." Cordelia murmured, leaning back. "It's started."

Connor was staring out the window when Deirbhile rounded the corner; she paused briefly by Lilah's body before moving to stand behind him. Neither spoke for a long time.

"It's not your fault, you know." she said finally.

"Funny. I was just thinking that about you."

"Me? Why?"

He pulled back from the window and looked at her. "Because your room's right down the hall."

"So's yours."

"I wasn't here."

"Not your fault." Deirbhile turned away, taking a deep breath. "Angelus knows you, you know. Maybe better than Angel does."

"So?"

"He tricked you. He did it on purpose, he knew you'd be the one tracking him. This…" she gestured to Lilah. "This was to hurt you as much as Wesley."

"I don't care if Lilah dies."

"So you say."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Deirbhile tipped her head to one side.

"The others are coming."

"I know the others are coming. Answer the question."

"Later, Stephen."

"You always say that." he grumbled, looking up as the others came into view. Wesley had found a large sheet of plastic somewhere, and he and Gunn carefully wrapped Lilah in it. Cordelia sank down onto a nearby box, and Fred leaned helplessly against a wall.

"We should be going after him." Connor said, _apropos _of nothing.

"No need." Wesley sounded very tired. "He'll be back."

"We were Angel's friends." Cordelia agreed. "Angelus will want to hurt us."

"So shouldn't we…board up the windows? Make it safe?" Fred asked.

"If Angelus wants in, we can't stop him." Gunn told her.

"Unless…" Lorne said suddenly. "We use the Sanctuary spell! The one I used at Caritas!"

"Magic again." Connor muttered derisively. "You people rely way too much on that junk."

"We use whatever tools we have." Wesley told him. "That's a powerful spell, isn't it?"

"I'll call the Furies. Maybe there's a quickie version." Lorne suggested.

"We have to destroy her." Connor said suddenly. Wesley raised his head and looked at him. "The body. She could have been turned."

"No, there wasn't enough time for that." Gunn dismissed him.

"You don't know that."

"Hell I don't, it happened too…"

"No. He's right." Wesley said.

"Can you tell?" Fred asked, looking at Deirbhile.

"No. There's nothing here for me to work with. If we were outside, or nearer the window…"

"It's all right." Cordelia said quietly. "It's not your fault."

"Right, cos hiding in my room while an innocent is killed makes me such a great person." She turned and left the group, heading for her room and closing the door quietly.

"I'll, um…go ring the Furies." Lorne said quietly, helping Cordelia to her feet.

"You should rest, Cordelia." Fred said anxiously. Connor stepped up beside her and silently offered to help her. She smiled, taking his am.

"You want help, man?" Gunn asked Wesley.

"Help me get her downstairs. I'll…deal with her."

"You sure?"

"I'll deal with her." There was absolutely no emotion in his voice.

Fred slipped away, leaving them to carry Lilah downstairs; Connor came back, glanced at them, and let himself into Deirbhile's room.

"They're getting awful chummy." Gunn muttered.

"Let them. If it distracts him from trying to kill Angelus so much the better."

"Answer the question."

"Hi, Stephen. How are you? I'm doing better. Thanks for asking."

"Answer the question." he repeated.

Deirbhile sighed and turned to look at him. "You said you don't care. I don't believe you. You're too good a person not to care when an innocent dies."

"She wasn't innocent."

"Not totally. But she wasn't evil, either."

"She wanted to dissect me."

"You think I'd have let her?"

"I don't know! I don't know anything about what you want, or what you'd do…"

"I want you happy. That's all."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"I'm doing the best I can." There was a knock at the door; without looking away from Connor, she called, "Come in."

Lorne stuck his head around the door. "I…hi, Connor. Thariin, I wanted to ask you something about the ritual."

"I'm not a demon." She still didn't look away from Connor. "But I won't be there when you're casting it. After it's cast it won't matter."

"Good. That's all I wanted to know." He started to leave, hesitating just inside the door. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing we can't handle. Thank you."

"You sure? 'Cos some of these vibes, well, I've seen better vibes at the death rallys, you know what I mean?"

"We're fine. Thank you."

"When we're there?" Connor said suddenly, studying her intently. "In the dream? How much of that is real?"

"All the important parts." Deirbhile said equally quietly. Lorne was watching them both carefully, but he wasn't speaking now so they both ignored him.

"Which parts are those?" Connor pressed her.

"You and me, Stephen. We're the important parts."

"How much, Tara?" She sighed, turning away.

"You're real. Anything you think or say or feel is real. I'm real. The house is really there, though I haven't been in a while. The people are real but they might not react in real life like they do there." She turned back, studying him concernedly. "Don't you like it?"

"I wanted…to know how real it is."

"How real does it feel?" Lorne spoke up from behind them. Connor laughed humorlessly.

"Realer than this."

"Then there's two things it could be." Deirbhile took a step back, allowing Lorne to explain this. "Either it is real, and you're being given a wonderful gift. Or someone's trying to distract you from this world. And I think only you can decide which it is." Connor studied him for a moment before looking back to Deirbhile, who only smiled softly.

"I believe in it, Stephen. You need to decide whether you believe in it too."

"I don't want it to stop." Connor muttered, sounding much younger than his years.

"But you don't want it either, do you?" Deirbhile countered. He raised his head, looking at her in surprise, and she went on, "I'm not stupid, Stephen. I see how you act there. You don't want to belong."

"I had a family."

"You had a father." she corrected him. "I'm not asking you to forget him, Stephen. We're only trying to give you something you deserve."

"You just feel guilty." he said bitterly, moving away and pacing the room.

"There's that." Deirbhile agreed. "If you want it to stop I can do that. I just wanted to help you."

"Thariin?" Lorne asked. "Why do you feel guilty?"

Deirbhile looked across at Connor, who was pointedly ignoring her. "You need to ask Stephen about that, Lorne. It's not mine to tell you."

"Tell him if you want. I don't care." Connor said, still pacing.

"You do care, or you'd tell him yourself." Deirbhile said calmly.

"Oh, boy." Lorne said suddenly. Connor came to a sudden halt.

"Are you reading us?"

"Kid, you're broadcasting so loud you're lucky I'm the only one reading you." He turned to look at Deirbhile. "How did that happen? I didn't think you had Champions."

"I'm not so hands-on as the Powers. My Champions often don't know who they are…were you there when Connor was born, Lorne?"

"Yeah."

"So you know how it happened. The first thing he touched…"

"…was the earth," Lorne finished, "because Darla dusted herself."

"Right. Angel's touch would have dedicated him to the Powers; Darla's, to something else entirely. But I got him."

"You don't own me." Connor flung at her.

"Never claimed to, Stephen--not seriously, anyway. Do you want me to stop the dreams?"

"I want to…" he broke off abruptly, glaring at Lorne.

"I'll just…" Lorne stood, gesturing vaguely.

"Don't bother." Deirbhile said quietly. "I'm going anyway." Connor turned back in surprise.

"Going where?"

"Out." At the look on his face she added, "Merrick's in trouble. I have to go."

"I'll come." Connor said. Deirbhile shook her head.

"It's not your fight. It's not even your kind of fight."

"I don't care. Angel won't let you out alone anyway."

"Weren't you just fighting with me a minute ago?"

"Yeah, well, no one ever accused me of being consistent."

"Where are you going?" Lorne asked.

"Why?" Connor demanded.

"'Cause if it's a long way, you might want to cadge a lift from one of our driving associates. Save some time." Lorne suggested.

"It's not far." Deirbhile said, turning towards the door.

"More backup?"

"Lorne!" She spun back around to face him, hair starting to blow. Connor leaned across and spoke quietly to her; after a moment, her hair settled. "We're going, Lorne." she said, somewhat calmer. "No one is coming. We'll be back…" she glanced automatically at the window. "We'll be back later. Don't tell anyone we're gone unless they ask, all right?"

"All right." Lorne agreed. "But I don't like this much."

"Merrick is my family. I have to go."

He nodded, finally, stepping away from the door, and she threw Connor a quick look and went out through it. Connor followed her quietly.

They were back before Lorne finished the ritual; true to her word, Deirbhile went upstairs while he cast the spell, coming back in time to see Lorne attack Connor.

"Hey!" she yelled, just as he was thrown back.

"Was that you?" Fred asked.

"No, I don't go for flashy blue light effects."

"That was the spell." Lorne said breathlessly. "Oooh…smarts like the Dickens."

"It's working, then." Deirbhile paused at the entrance to the basement, looking thoughtfully down the stairs.

"Yes." Fred said cheerfully, gathering together the books they'd used. Deirbhile backed up a little, letting Wesley pass her and come into the lobby. He hesitated beside her.

"Did you see that?"

"Bits of it. We're only just back."

"And how is…" he trailed off.

"Merrick. Yes, he's fine, thank you."

"Did Angel know him?"

"No. And Angelus can't track me. He'll be fine if he stays away."

"Will he?" Deirbhile laughed.

"Probably not, no. Are you all right?"

"Probably not." Wesley moved past her into the center of the room. "We're going to bring Angelus in alive."

"No we're not." Connor said flatly.

"Thought you said capturing him wasn't an option." Gunn agreed.

"I changed my mind." Wes said calmly.

"Change it back." Connor demanded.

"We get rid of Angelus, then what? We still have a Beast we don't know how to kill. We know it's working for something much worse, but we don't know what it is. We're caught in the middle of a maelstrom and we can't get out without our Champion." Connor glanced at Deirbhile, who was watching Wes quietly. She caught his eye and smiled, shrugging helplessly, and Connor looked back at Wes.

"We're going to save Angel." Wes went on. "And I know who we need to help us do it."

__

"I shouldn't be here."

Connor was pacing back and forth across the grass. Deirbhile was leaning against the wall, watching him quietly. Merrick was standing some way behind her, watching both but too far away to hear anything they were saying.

"Nothing's happening at the hotel, Stephen. You know I'm there. Nothing's going to happen until Wes comes back with whoever he's gone to get."

"Still should be there."

"You need to rest sometimes, Stephen. There's going to be a hunt, and they'll need you. When did you last sleep?"

"I don't remember. What does it matter?"

Deirbhile grinned. "Even you need sleep, Stephen."

"Once, in Quor'toth, I stayed awake for almost three weeks."

"Really? Why?"

"I needed to." She nodded.

"And how were you at the end of it?"

"Tired." he admitted, ducking his head. "But it hasn't…"

"It doesn't matter how long it's been. You need the sleep. Nothing's happening at the hotel. Take it easy…and stop pacing!" She caught his arm as he passed in front of her again.

"Why is he here?" Connor asked, gesturing towards Merrick. Deirbhile glanced over her shoulder, frowning.

"I don't know. He wasn't meant to be. Does it bother you?"

"Yes." Connor said with surprising honesty. "I want him to go away." Deirbhile nodded.

"All right. Stay here for a minute." She jumped the wall and went to talk to Merrick; after a moment the figure faded away and she came back, frowning.

"What?" Connor demanded.

"It wasn't Merrick; it was Cole. He had a message for you."

"Cole? Then why did…"

"Because Cole's not part of this memory. He couldn't come in as himself."

"I'm not part of it either." Connor pointed out.

"It's designed for you, though. Wouldn't be much good if you couldn't get here."

Connor frowned, obviously decided not to push it, and forged ahead. "What's the message?"

"The mess…oh. Cole says someone you know will bring someone you think you know, but you shouldn't trust your eyes and you should listen with your feelings."

"Does he always talk that way?"

"Always." Deirbhile rolled her eyes. "At least, when he's talking about a dream. That time in the house, that was unusual…he doesn't usually dream in a linear sequence like that." Connor stared, and she explained quickly, "When he dreams it's usually all jumbled up. A lot of the time he doesn't understand it until afterwards." She waved one hand vaguely. "Anyway. You have the message?"

"I'll remember."

"Good. I have to…someone's calling me, and I have to wake up." She hesitated, looking at him. "Are you…"

"I want to wake up now." he interrupted her, and she nodded quickly.

Connor was practicing his swordplay on the landing above the lobby when she wandered back downstairs; she pretty much ignored him and hopped up onto the counter, crossing her legs and staring into space.

"Relax, boys." Lorne said. Connor hadn't stopped practicing, and Gunn was obsessively checking his weapons. "The spell's working, and I still have the slight migraine to prove it."

"Yeah, maybe so." Gunn agreed. "But if Angelus comes back I want to be ready."

"We are." Wes said from the door. "Now."

Everyone turned to look at him, and the dark-haired girl beside him.

"Sweet crib." she said with a grin.

"Everyone, this is Faith. The Vampire Slayer." Wes said.

"Hello, Faith." Fred said brightly. "I'm…"

"Fred. Yeah, Wes gave me the skinny on you guys."

"Oh." Fred said, mildly unsure.

"Faith?" Cordelia was on the stairs, staring at the group. "What the hell is she doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, Cor." Faith said, grinning.

"She's here to help." Wes told her.

"Oh. Gee." Cordelia came down into the lobby; Connor echoed her movements from the other landing. "Wait a sec, wasn't she convicted of murder and sent to a state correctional facility for, like, a gazillion years?"

"Uh, Murder 2, twenty five to life. For the record." Faith said. The others were staring.

"So now you've brought Psycho Slayer out of retirement to kill Angelus?" Cordelia asked Wes.

"Cordelia, you have every right to feel that way about me. You have no reason to trust me. But I don't have loads of time, so what say we save it until after this is over, cool?"

Cordelia glared, but, recognizing a losing battle, she kept silent.

"OK. Let's get down to it. We're going to keep this hunting party tight." Faith glanced around, looked at Gunn. "Gunn, right?"

"Yeah." Gunn said.

"Love the name. Hear you're a good fighter."

"I hold my own." Gunn agreed.

"That's a shame." Faith mused. "You're with me, Wes, and the kid."

"Kid has a name." Connor said from directly behind her, sheathing his sword.

"Connor." Faith said, over-patiently. She immediately turned back to Gunn. "Arm yourself how you like but I want you to carry the tranc gun. If I can't take him down, I want you to be ready to take the shot, yeah?" Gunn nodded, already turning towards the weapons cabinet. "In case anyone has any other ideas, this is a salvage mission, _not _search-and-destroy. OK?"

"No. Not OK." Connor said. Deirbhile looked up as he went on, "You think you can just breeze in here telling everyone what to do? You're not a part of this. You think I'm not going to kill Angelus if he comes at me, then…"

"Listen up, Junior." Faith interrupted him. "If I need a _bloodhound, _I'll call you. If Angelus needs putting down, I'll be the one to do it. _Not _you. So…is there anything else you're not OK with?"

Connor glared at her, but he didn't speak. Deirbhile watched them both carefully without moving from her seat.

Faith turned away, seeming to lose interest in him. "Show me the weapons."

Wes headed for the weapons cabinet; Faith followed him but slowed as she passed Deirbhile. "You weren't in the guide book."

"No. I don't guess I was." Deirbhile agreed.

"So who are you?"

"I'm not subject to the Powers." Deirbhile announced. "So you don't get to tell me what to do."

"Deirbhile…" Wes said warningly.

"She doesn't." Deirbhile insisted.

"She's not trying to." Lorne said soothingly.

"Apparently she's six years old." Faith said.

"She's not well." Connor said in automatic, unthinking defense.

"That's real nice." Faith said.

"Deirbhile is…" Wes hesitated.

"Don't stop there! You haven't reached the good part yet." Deirbhile prompted him.

"…Just as complicated as the rest of us, so perhaps we can leave her for later." Wes said finally.

"Fine by me."

"That's not how the story's supposed to end." Deirbhile muttered.

"How's it supposed to end?" Faith asked, interested despite herself.

"With much less blood and death." Deirbhile said, staring straight at Faith. "With a happy ending. A clean one. Not with darkness and death and things falling."

Connor came forward and held out one hand. Deirbhile took it and let him help her off the counter. "She doesn't know what she's saying." he said quietly. "She never knows when she's like this."

"Everything's falling." Deirbhile said, still looking at Faith. "He doesn't see so much anymore. Not to the left, anyway."

"Who doesn't?"

"Xander. Not on his left, he doesn't see."

"Something happened to Xander?" Cordelia asked.

"Popped it out." Deirbhile muttered. "Just popped it right out to stop him knowing."

"Stop him knowing what?" Faith asked. Deirbhile stared at her, not even seeming to register the question.

"Connor, maybe Deirbhile should go up to her room." Wes suggested.

"No." Connor shook his head, pushing Deirbhile gently towards a couch. "Not when she's like this. It gets worse if she's left alone."

"How do you know?" Fred asked. Connor flushed, looking at Cordelia and then around the room.

"I've…noticed. What, you think I don't watch things?"

"Fun as this is…" Faith left it hanging, and Wes nodded.

"Yes, we should go. Gunn? Are you ready?"

"Yeah, I'm cool."

"Let's go, then. Connor." Connor looked up and nodded, following the group towards the door…and then he hesitated and looked back.

"Go on." Deirbhile, more or less coherent, looked up. "Night's…over, actually, but hey. Metaphorically young. Go kill something." Catching Wes's eye, she added meekly, "But not Angel, because that would be bad. No killing Angel. No sir, absolutely not."

"Go, Connor." Cordelia cut across her. "We'll look after her. You go, they're waiting." Connor nodded and headed out, following Wes and Faith and Gunn into the night.

He didn't come to her room when he got back.

The sun's return had taken her by surprise, and as soon as it burst through she was out in the garden. Lorne and Fred followed her out, and they were still there when Connor and Gunn came back; but Deirbhile had slipped back inside a few minutes earlier.

And Connor, on his way to see her, stopped in Cordelia's room.

And his world was turned upside down by one single sentence.

"We're having a baby."


	8. Release

Previously on _Angel: _Wesley breaks Faith out of prison to aid in capturing Angel. She and Connor immediately clash. Faith succeeds in destroying the Beast, bringing back the sun to LA. Cordelia tells Connor she's pregnant.

Deirbhile Release

__

"You're upset."

"No kidding. What tipped you off?"

Deirbhile squirmed, settling more comfortably against the wall. "You haven't stopped moving, looked at me, or spoken to me since you fell asleep."

"What's happening at the hotel?"

"Beats me. I'm asleep."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am. I do sleep sometimes, Stephen, and this is one of those times. What's wrong?"

"It's private."

"OK." she said agreeably. "But stop pacing anyway. You're making me tired looking at you."

"You're asleep. How can you be tired?" She didn't bother answering, and after a minute he went on, "Are you OK? You were pretty out of it earlier."

"Yeah. I know. I'm better, now." Connor looked at her for a long minute, and she laughed and ducked her head. "Not all the way better, but better than I was. The sun helps an awful lot." She stretched slightly. "Faith probably thinks I'm crazy."

"You fit right in." She smiled.

"Thank you. That's sweet."

"The others, I'm not sure about. Lorne was giving you some very odd looks."

"Ha. You're so funny. Stick to sweet, Stephen, you do it way better."

Connor smiled faintly. "I really ought to wake up."

"Go ahead. I'm staying here for a while, though."

"Have fun." He faded from view. Deirbhile sat up, all traces of sleep lost.

"Damn it, why now? It's too early…!"

Deirbhile sat quietly in the lobby, reading a book she'd taken from Angel's room and ignoring Lorne, Fred and Gunn as they prepared defenses against Angelus. Lorne had taken over her care and wouldn't let her leave the room; they were all taking Connor's 'She gets worse when she's alone' way too seriously.

She watched surreptitiously over the top of her book when Connor came down, but he barely glanced at her. She pointedly ignored the subsequent conversation about what he and Cordelia might or might not be doing together; she could have told them, if they'd asked, but since they didn't, she didn't volunteer the information.

"Hey." Lorne sat down beside her. "What are you reading?" She held up the book so he could see it. "Oh. A French book. In French. Very nice."

"It's interesting. I guess." She shrugged, laying it aside. Lorne, she noticed, had put down his pistol just within reach. "What's wrong?"

"Those things you said to Faith, kiddo."

"I don't know what they mean." She was staring past him, eyes unfocused. "They haven't happened yet but they will. Things will fall and Xander will stop knowing."

"Who's Xander?" Lorne asked. Deirbhile shook herself, breaking out of her trance.

"He's one of the Slayer's friends. They're having their yearly apocalypse over there."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She sighed, dropping her face into her hands. "I don't…I don't know where those things come from, Lorne. They've come…I've seen them ever since the War, but…"

"Don't sweat it, Kiddo. We'll figure them out. Try not to worry."

"I do, though." She looked up suddenly, picking up the book and fiddling with it.

"Something wrong?"

"No…I'm just tired. I might go back to my room."

"Are you sure? Don't you think…"

"Stephen worries too much." she cut across him. "I'm feeling much better, now that the sun's back. I just need some sleep."

"You sure, Kiddo?"

"Yes. Perfectly."

"You do seem less…cosmic."

"I'm fine, honestly." She rose to her feet, bracing herself on Lorne's shoulder. "Just…" She took two steps and stopped, swaying.

"Whoa, Kiddo. I think you need a hand."

"I'm not…" She stopped, swallowing hard. "I hate when that happens." she breathed, leaning more heavily on Lorne.

"Uh…Gunn? Can I get a hand here?" Lorne called.

"What's up?" Gunn came out of the office.

"I think we're overtired." Lorne said.

"I'm not a child." Deirbhile muttered, pulling away from him and overbalancing in the other direction. Gunn jumped forward and caught her.

"Come on, crazy girl. Let's get you upstairs."

"I'm not crazy, either."

"Tell that to Faith."

Lorne followed them upstairs, leaving Fred to continue working on finding information on the BeastMaster. He came back down in time to walk into Fred's dart as she fired at Angelus.

"Gunn, go downstairs." Deirbhile pulled away from him.

"What? Are you…"

"I mean it! Go downstairs. Outside. Angelus is…" That was as far as she got before Gunn spun and left, grabbing a stake from the table next to her door as he went.

Deirbhile moved to the window; there was a very narrow view of the garden from there, and she could see three figures moving in and out of her view. After a minute Angelus ran from the garden and was well away before Faith appeared; the Slayer glanced once over her shoulder and turned, heading back into the hotel.

Deirbhile shifted her gaze, watching a doorway across the street; after a long moment Merrick stepped out of it, searching and finding her window easily. She watched him until he turned and walked away, mercifully not following Angelus. Once he was out of sight she moved to the sink in the corner of her room and ran some water, splashing it over her face. Finally, feeling slightly better, she left the room and headed downstairs.

Wes and Faith were leaving as she came down; each glanced at her before they left, marking her movements. Neither stopped to talk to her, though, and she ignored them completely, heading into the office.

Fred spun, lifting her gun, and immediately relaxed. "Sorry. Jumpy." she offered.

Deirbhile frowned briefly, then shook her head. "No big. Where're they going?"

"Track down Angelus." Fred shrugged, tidying the desk without looking at her. "Wesley says they either get him this time or there won't be a next time."

"They'll get him."

"You think so?" Deirbhile crossed to the wall and sat down, leaning against it.

"I think Faith gets what she wants. And what she wants, more than anything, is a world with Angel in it, because a world with Angel in it is _right. _Even if she's in prison, or dead, or bumming somewhere, as long as Angel's out there the world's going the way it ought."

"She's not the only one who thinks that way." Fred murmured.

"He's more important than he knows." Deirbhile agreed.

"You don't." Fred said suddenly. "Think that way, I mean."

"The world's been without Angel an awful lot longer than it's been with him, and survived." She shrugged. "He's a good person. I like him a lot. But the world's never been totally dependent on just one person."

"Except you."

"I'm not a person. Not in the strictest sense of the word. Why are we having this conversation?"

"Gallows humor." Fred said, shrugging again. "Or the non-humor equivalent, anyway."

"Yeah…" Deirbhile was barely listening at this point.

"What's wrong?" Fred asked.

"Nothing. It's nothing. I have to go out for a while, OK? I won't be long."

"Do you want me to find Charles to go with you?"

"No, no. It's not important. I'll be back soon." She smiled quickly at Fred and climbed to her feet, heading out of the office.


	9. Orpheus

Deirbhile Orpheus

"Connor!" Gunn yelled, dumping a comatose Angelus on the lobby floor.

"What happened?" Fred asked.

"What's going on?" Connor came to the landing above.

"Get down here!" Gunn told him, ignoring Fred and helping Wesley in with Faith. The Slayer was equally unconscious and had apparently been in a fight.

"What happened?" Fred repeated.

"Wesley called, I answered. Connor, get the chains. All's we had in the car was rope."

Lorne came forward to help Wesley upstairs; Connor watched them for a long minute before turning his attention back to Angelus.

Deirbhile wandered into Faith's room a few minutes later, just in time to catch Lorne's furious, "Tell me you didn't shoot that girl up and feed her to Angelus!"

"It was her choice." Deirbhile shuddered; Wes sounded almost dead. "You're back." he added, catching sight of her. She nodded absently, kneeling beside Faith's bed and studying her for a long minute.

"Faith knew the risks." Wes told Lorne.

"Oh no she didn't." Lorne contradicted him. "Wesley, I know what that drug does to people. Especially when they super-size the dosage to make sure they get the job done. And you damn well know it too."

Deirbhile was still there later on when Connor came in; she hadn't moved during that time, except to touch Faith's face every so often. Under her fingers the bruises were fading, a little at a time.

"What's going to happen to her?" Connor asked.

Deirbhile glanced up at him; for a moment the house in Turtle Cove flashed before his eyes, but he shook it away irritably.

"Actually," Fred said, standing and moving away from the bed, "I'd like to start with what exactly was it, Wesley."

Wesley lifted his head to look at her, but he didn't speak. Deirbhile rose quietly and came to look at his forehead, bruising nicely now from where Angelus had hit him.

"Orpheus." Lorne pronounced the name like a death sentence.

"Orpheus?" Connor repeated.

"Some sort of opiate?" Fred asked.

"Mystical variety. Humans inject it, vampires feed off the humans. Folks tried to deal it at Caritas. Only folks I ever banned from my club."

"Divention." Faith muttered. Deirbhile moved away from Wesley, leaving him less bruised than before, and knelt back down beside Faith.

"But…so if ordinary humans do this junk. Slayers are all super, right?" Fred asked.

Lorne was shaking his head. "That's what makes it so dangerous. Orpheus isn't entirely physical; it's an enchanted drug."

"Magic." Connor said dismissively. "This is what it gets you."

"As a magical being, I resent that." Deirbhile muttered.

Lorne ignored her and went on, "Well, that plus the biting makes for some serious psychic psychedelia. The more you take, the deeper you sink."

"It leads you down to Hell." Wesley said quietly. "And leaves you there."

After a minute Wesley rose and left the room; Deirbhile touched Lorne's arm lightly and then rose and followed him, pulling Connor with her. Fred glanced uncertainly at Lorne and then followed the others; they went down to the lobby, where Deirbhile curled into one of the seats and watched the others fight.

"There's only one thing we can do for Faith now." Wesley insisted quietly. "Finish what she started.

"You mean re-ensoul Angel." Fred clarified.

"Impossible." Connor declared. "We've been over this. No jar, no soul. No soul, no Angel."

"It's not that simple, Connor. I've been doing some research…"

"It is simple!" Connor cut Fred off without even noticing. "Angelus is all that's left. First he slaughtered Lilah, now he's killed Faith…"

"She's not dead yet." Wesley said, sitting down tiredly.

"You're _lying _to yourselves. You all think that I'm taking this personally so you don't have to. But inside you know I'm right. We need to put Angelus down."

"I don't think so." A new voice entered the conversation. "I think you need a witch."

Deirbhile rose to her feet, keening. It started off softly, and only Connor noticed; but before anyone moved, it had risen too high to be ignored.

"What? Deirbhile, what is it?" Fred asked, putting down her book and crossing to stand beside her. Deirbhile ignored her, focusing totally on Willow. The red-head wasn't quite sure what to do; she was looking first at Deirbhile, then at Wesley, hoping for a hint.

"Tara." Connor's voice cut across the wail and it collapsed; Deirbhile sank back down onto the seat, still staring at Willow. "Tara. What?"

"She tried to kill me last year." Deirbhile looked up at Fred, suddenly seeming very young. "She's not nice. Make her go away."

"I don't think I've ever seen you before." Willow protested.

"That's not what she means." Wesley said. "Willow, when you were evil last year…"

"Hey!" Willow protested. "Was there like a memo or something?"

"Giles called me from England, see if I could help. But he gave no details, and I told no one." Wes reassured her.

"Oh. Well…OK then. What about it?"

"Send her away." Deirbhile repeated. Connor came around and sat next to her.

"We can't right now. Let Wesley sort it out." he told her firmly.

"She's not nice, Stephen." Deirbhile muttered.

"I know." Connor said agreeably.

"Willow, did you do anything to harm the earth?" Wesley asked.

"I tried to bleed all the energy out of it." Willow suggested.

"That's probably it then. Willow, meet Thariin, personification of the Earth."

"I am not!" Deirbhile stamped her foot. "I'm _not_ a personification! Get it right, Wesley."

"Beg pardon. Thariin, last Elf Princess, who happens to have total control over the earth. Better?"

"Much. We'll work on it." She looked back at Willow. "You tried to kill me."

"I really did." Willow agreed. "But I was sort of crazy then."

"I'm sort of crazy a lot of the time and I never kill anyone. I don't even kill bad people."

"But I didn't kill you."

"Only 'cos Xander stopped you. Otherwise you'd've just kept going."

"Well, maybe I would. But what have you ever done that's so good, huh?" Connor came to his feet, eyes blazing, and Deirbhile shrank slightly.

"I don't fight." Her voice was slightly muffled. "It's not what I do."

"Why not?"

"Because it'd make me a dictator. I don't want to be like that. People get to do what they want, unless they hurt me. Or someone I love." She glanced sideways at Connor as she said that.

"Wow. That's so…" Willow blinked. "Kind of cool, actually. Look…" She came down the steps into the lobby proper. "I'm sorry about last year. I was not myself. Can we start over?"

Connor turned to look at Deirbhile, who was glaring icily at Willow; leaning closer, he whispered, "Merrick tried to kill the others."

"You think I should stick her in a tomb for three thousand years?"

"No!" Connor took a second to be thankful she was keeping her voice down. "They forgave him for that."

"It's not the same. He wasn't himself."

"Nor was she."

"Fine." Deirbhile rose to her feet. "Whatever. But I'm not staying here." She passed Willow on her way to the stairs, and then stopped, staring past her. "Someone's going to try to kill you today."

"Excuse me?" Willow spun to face her. "Is that…"

"It's not a threat." Wes broke in. "She sees things. Deirbhile?"

"I don't know. It's very dark. Where the sun went…" She trailed off, shook her head faintly, and continued up the stairs.

Connor stood below, watching her, but he made no effort to follow her. "What did you say to her?" Fred asked, shaken.

"And why Tara?" Wes agreed.

"Tara is what her friends call her. It catches her attention when other names don't."

"Her friends." Wes echoed.

"The ones we went to see just after the Beast rose. Look, it doesn't matter, does it? At least she didn't kill Willow."

"Kill me?" Willow's voice came out quite high.

"Yeah." Connor stared challengingly at her. "She could, if she wanted. Lucky for you she has morals."

"She has…" Willow shook her head. "Whatever. Look, I'm sorry I upset her, OK?" Connor snorted, moving away to sit down. "Let's start again. Uh, you're Angel's son, right?"

"It's Connor."

"And the sneer's genetic. Who knew?"

"Hi Willow." Fred looked way too excited, Connor thought sourly.

"Hi Fred." Willow came across to the counter. "It's good to see you. Oh! And it's the Marlboro man. Or at least his extra-stubbly mentally-unstable insomniac first cousin for the love of Hecate someone stop me…" She trailed off, looking embarrassedly away from Wesley, who was smiling.

"It's OK." Fred reassured her. "I'm a yammerer from way back."

"Are there forces gathering?" Wes asked. "Did the call of magic draw you here?"

"Oh no. More like the call of Fred."

Wesley stared at her for a minute until comprehension dawned. "Of course. Bring in the only living person to ever re-ensoul Angel."

"She has a fresh brain. I thought she might see some things we missed." Fred explained.

"Oh, hearing the thoroughness of your research methodology, I don't think that's possible." Willow said quickly.

"Aww…go on!" The two girls giggled; Connor and Wes exchanged looks, each rolling their eyes.

"We should probably start the debriefing." Willow said. "Where's Cordy?"

"Unfortunately," Connor stood up, folding his arms and generally looming, "the guy who you're all trying to magically re-ensoul shot her with a crossbow. She's not up for visitors." The house flashed in front of his eyes again, and again he pushed it away.

"I think she'll want to see Willow." Wes overruled him. "After all, she's traveled a long way, and they have a history together."

Connor glowered; when that failed to have any effect, he turned and started up the stairs. Willow scrambled to keep up with him.

"So…Tara, huh?" she asked, halfway along the corridor.

"We don't call her that here." Connor didn't slow down.

"My girlfriend was called Tara."

"Was?"

"She died, last year. That's what…I mean, I was so crazy with the grieving…"

"You tried to destroy the world?"

"To stop the hurting." Willow corrected him. Connor grunted, stopping outside Cordelia's door.

"Here." He hesitated for a second before blurting, "I'm sorry your girlfriend died." Before she could say anything else he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Connor demanded, closing Deirbhile's door behind him five minutes later.

"Doing what?"

"Putting Turtle Cove in my head."

"I'm not…well, OK, I am." She looked up at him. "Does it bother you?"

"Yes! You can't do that when I'm awake. It's not fair."

"Sorry. I didn't think…I won't any more. Promise."

"Why were you doing it?"

"Um…the first time? I wanted to make sure you were OK. You seemed sort of upset, and I…"

"Faith's a good person. She doesn't deserve…"

"Do you know Faith's history?" Deirbhile cut him off in turn. "You don't, do you. Faith's the second Slayer; not something that's supposed to be possible. She's always felt second. First she tried to be like Buffy; then she tried to be Buffy's opposite. She ended up in a coma, Stephen. When she woke up out of that she came to LA. She accepted a contract on Angel's life and to get to him she kidnapped Wes. And tortured him. For hours."

"Why?" Connor asked.

"Because she wanted Angel angry enough to kill her. But he wasn't. He wanted to save her. That's how she ended up in prison; she turned herself in to try and gain redemption."

"So…" Connor frowned. "Are you saying she's _not _a good person?"

"No! Not at all. She is a good person. She just doesn't always believe it."

"What are you saying then?" Deirbhile shrugged.

"I'm fairly sure I told you before that bad things happen to good people. Do you know what I've noticed, though?"

"Pretty sure you're going to tell me."

She made a face at him. "People don't get worse than they can handle. Sometimes they don't try. But if they hold on, they can manage it fine. I've seen it over and over."

"This isn't something she can fight. The drug…"

"Is only as strong as the body it's in. Faith's body is strong, Stephen, but her will is stronger, and she never, ever, gives up. You think that prison could have held her otherwise?"

"No, but…" he trailed off. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Turn everything back on me. Now you're making it sound like _I _thought she was weak."

"Am I? Whoops. That's not what I meant."

Connor straightened up. "You're not quite with me, are you."

"Nope. Not quite."

"Go downstairs with the others. All right?"

"Where're you going?"

"Just go downstairs, Tara, all right?"

"That's not fair." She pouted, letting him help her to her feet. "When you call me Tara I don't say no."

"I know that." He pushed her gently towards the door. "That's why I don't do it much."

She dug her heels in, staring at him. "I thought you didn't do it 'cos I asked you not to."

"I don't."

"You just said…"

"It doesn't matter now, all right? Just let's go…" he trailed off, thinking.

"Is that annoying like that when I do it?"

"Yes. Even more so."

"Really?"

"I don't know. What are you talking about?"

"When I say something and then refuse to explain it."

"Yes. Very annoying."

"Oh. Sorry. I'll work on that." She glanced around. "Where are we going?"

"See Faith."

"'Kay."

"Listen to me." He halted her just outside Faith's door. "Faith's really not well."

"I can't help. Not with the inside stuff."

"That's not what I meant. Try and…"

"Not be crazy?" she filled in.

"Yeah." She nodded.

"I will. I'll be very quiet."

"All right." He started forward and then halted her again. "This is important to me."

"I said it." She nodded firmly. "I'll do it."

"She's in the barrens now." Lorne said quietly. Deirbhile watched as he wiped Faith's face gently. "They cry for a while. Quiet, mostly. Like they're letting go of everything that meant something." Faith groaned as though to underscore his words.

Connor shifted uncomfortably; he was sitting in a chair at the end of the bed. "How long? Till…" he trailed off, aware of Deirbhile's gaze.

"Not long." Lorne said. "You can hold her hand." Deirbhile obligingly scooted away from the bed, leaving room for Connor, who rose slowly to his feet. Before he could move towards the bed, however, Wesley came in and stood staring at Faith, barely registering the rest of them.

"Wesley." Connor said.

"They're doing what we do, Stephen." Deirbhile said suddenly. Connor blinked.

"They're…what?"

"What we do." Deirbhile leaned forward and touched Faith's forehead gently, careful to avoid the bruises. "Not here. Not in his head. Somewhere…I can't see. I don't know where." She looked up at Wes. "I don't think I can bring them back."

"You can't." Wes said carefully.

"Nope. They were in her head, or his head, I could…but they're not. Away with the fairies…" She laughed for no apparent reason.

Connor hunkered beside her. "Are they where we go?" he asked softly, staying quiet enough that the others couldn't hear.

"Of course not." Deirbhile said in surprise. "That's our place. No one goes there unless I let them. Or you let them. One or the other, I'm not…"

"OK." he interrupted her. "Don't worry about it then."

"I can't…"

"It's OK. We'll find another way. It's not up to you."

Deirbhile shuddered, looking away. "Merrick said that."

"Merrick talks too much." Connor said irritably. Deirbhile smiled.

"I don't think anyone's ever said that before."

"Connor?" Wes asked.

"Nothing." Connor rose to his feet again. "You did the right thing. She was brave, and she died in battle."

"She's not dead." Deirbhile said quietly. Connor ignored her.

"It's time." Wesley turned away from the bed. Connor glanced uncomfortably at Faith and followed.

"Deirbhile?" Lorne asked quietly. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want to go down." She looked at the door. "But I ought to. Something's going to happen."

"What's going to happen?" Lorne asked. Deirbhile shook her head.

"Magic's gathering. Like lightning, and we're all standing under the trees…"

"You don't think the spell will work?" Lorne asked carefully.

"Willow's strong, but I think she…she sees it funny. Not the way others do."

"Sees what funny?"

"The magic. When she says the words she's just giving form to what's already there…and if she's not looking right it won't work. Or, it'll work but not the right way…" She trailed off, still looking at the door.

"Can you help?"

"Maybe. I…" She shuddered, burying her face in her hands.

"Deirbhile? What's wrong, kiddo?"

"I hate this! I hate…being crazy…" She looked up again. "I don't use my magic, Lorne. Not much, not as much as my…the other I do."

"You have magic?" Lorne asked carefully.

"Um-hum. Elves are intrinsically magical; we never did anything much with it, but every Elf has…had…the potential to be very powerful. I don't think…if Willow goes wrong I don't think I can help. If I go down there, I'll try. And if I try, and fail…" she trailed off again.

"You're scared." Lorne said quietly. "Honey, that's just smart. World we're living in, you should be scared. But you have all the strength of the earth as well as your own."

"Not here I don't." Deirbhile said bitterly. "Here there's no earth. I can't sense it."

"So why do you stay here?"

"Once I wouldn't have. Even for Stephen, I wouldn't have. I'd have walked away, and whatever happened…happened."

"So what changed?"

"I met people. They changed me." She looked up, smiling faintly. "I tried to leave, and they wouldn't let me; they pulled me back in. They turned into family when I wasn't looking, and now…" she shrugged. "It feels wrong to leave when I know they wouldn't." Lorne frowned, and she laughed gently. "I'm sorry, were you expecting a sermon?"

"Not at all, kiddo, I'm just…not sure you can live according to what they want."

"I'm not. They'd tell me to leave, they were here…but they'd stay. That's why I'm staying."

"It's not the only reason, is it?"

"No." Deirbhile shook her head. "It's not."

"Connor?"

"Yeah. Connor." She sighed, leaning back until she hit the wall. "And you, as well."

"Me?"

"You, plural. Angel Inc. I'd like to think I'm on the side of the angels…no pun intended." She looked up again. "Good guys don't run out on the fight."

"It's not your fight."

"It doesn't matter. Merrick said that, and he was wrong too. It's still a fight, and there's a right…there's a good…there's sides."

"You're here for Connor." Lorne said again. "If he was on the other side you'd be helping them."

"No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be hurting them, but I wouldn't be helping. And I wouldn't be hurting you. I know what you meant though…I follow Stephen. I don't have a choice. I need him too much to let him go."

"Would you? If he wanted?"

Deirbhile struggled. "I don't…I love him. I think that's, sort of, built in. But I…sometimes I don't like him. And I'm not _in_ love with him. I know that."

"No, you're not, are you?" Lorne murmured.

"Sometimes I think he hates me…and sometimes I think he just sort of dislikes me. And then, every so often…"

"He's a whole 'nother person." Lorne filled in. "We've noticed."

"He could be so…he shines, Lorne. He could be such a good person, if he'd just…" she gestured frustratedly. "He drags himself down all the time. I don't…I can't make him not."

"Can't always help people." Lorne told her gently. "Sometimes they have to help themselves. Like this." He gestured to Faith. "I'll sit here as long as it takes but I'm not helping. She's coming out on her own or she's not coming."

"It's not just her." Deirbhile said absently. "She's with Angelus, and Angel, and they're all…history and dead things…"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing." Deirbhile rose to her feet. "It's…I have to go, it's nothing…"

"Deirbhile…"

"No. It's nothing. I have to…I need to not be…I mean, I have to be where the magic is."

"Tara."

Deirbhile stopped dead just inside the door. "You're not supposed to say that." She turned to look back at him. "No one is supposed to call me that."

"Connor calls you Tara."

"He's allowed. He doesn't count. Tara's not who I am here." She glared at him.

"I won't call you that then. Deirbhile, listen. What did you mean? Angel and Angelus, history and dead things?"

"The drug. The Orpheous. They're going through Angel's story. To see if he's stronger than Angelus."

"And Faith?" Lorne asked carefully.

Deirbhile laughed. "She's not Obi-Wan…Faith sees. Because no one has. But she's not part of it. Angel's past is written."

"Can you…you can see them?" Deirbhile nodded, and he went on, "But you can't bring them back. You can't bring her home?"

"She doesn't see me. My way is not her way. Not his way, either." She turned away again. "I can't help them. I'm sorry." Without waiting for him to say anything else, she turned and left the room, pulling the door neatly closed behind her.

Fred was ringing a bell carefully, ritually pacing, when Deirbhile slipped down the stairs and curled into the couch by the office door. She jumped when Willow started talking; but the Wicca was talking to Gunn, not to her, and she relaxed after a minute.

"OK. Now all I gotta do is contact the spirit world, harness the delothrian ebb, focus it through my little Marble O' doom here, and we'll restore the Mu Ping's entropic equilibrium."

"Jar go smash?" Gunn translated.

"Smash o crash." Willow agreed.

"All I need to know." He glanced at the monitor, adding, "I'll be downstairs 'case the Prince of Darkness wakes up."

He headed for the basement; Willow focused on her preparations for a moment, barely registering Wesley coming up behind her.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Should be a snap." she agreed.

Red energy crackled, sending her flying across the room; Deirbhile catapulted herself off the couch and was halfway up the stairs before she stopped.

__

"Stay your hand, witch!" The magickally-enhanced voice rang through Willow's head. _"You will not interfere with what must come to pass."_

Wesley lifted Willow, supporting her as she gasped, "Envidoria disparum…"

__

"You think to banish me?"

"There's somebody in my head…" Willow managed.

__

"As long as the soul is under my protection, it will never be freed." the voice told her.

Deirbhile came back down into the lobby, but she stayed near the stairs; Wesley glanced across at her, but she shook her head helplessly.

Willow straightened and said commandingly, "Vetchay envidoria disparum!"

"He's enormously powerful." Wesley muttered, as Willow picked up her talisman. "It's the dead Beast's Master. He contacted Angelus the same way."

"He wants to stop us from getting the soul." Fred realized.

Willow raised her hand. "Open the window. Fill this stone. Inside, outside, two made one."

Fire sheathed the stone, and it hovered above Willow's hand. Deirbhile flinched, sinking into a crouch on the step.

"You all right?" Connor whispered.

"It…ow." She grinned. "Strong spell. I didn't…I haven't felt anyone else's magic this way for a long time…I'm fine. Pay attention."

The energy flashed again, doubling Willow over.

"Are we sure that she can handle it?" Connor asked, looking at Wesley. Before he could answer Willow straightened back up; her eyes were very dark.

"Aleah astraeth!" The hotel began shaking around them; all the lights flickered on, off, on, off, and stayed off.

"I think she can hold her own." Wesley said dryly.

"Ow. Hello, still here? Ow!" Deirbhile complained.

"Senser roll, anash arem!" Willow yelled.

"She's not doing it on purpose." Connor said quietly to Deirbhile.

"I know she's not, but still, ow." Deirbhile winced again.

"It won't be long."

"You don't know that."

"It can't be long. She's shaking, trying to keep it together. It can't be long or she can't do it."

"Do you feel that?" Wesley said suddenly.

"There's something evil…" Connor muttered, looking around. "Rising in the hotel."

The shaking stopped and the lights came back on.

"All the better to see with." Deirbhile muttered, watching the huge face shimmer into being behind Willow.

"What the hell is that?" Connor demanded.

"Ignore it!" Willow ordered. "Find your target, leave my side!" The tiny fireball fled. Willow chanted for a minute or two, in various languages but mostly saying the same thing, "Break the glass."

Nothing happened for a long minute; then she crowed, "_Got _it!"

"Where's Connor?" Fred suddenly asked, realizing he'd vanished. Deirbhile glanced over her shoulder, towards the staircase.

"Never mind. Wesley, the Orb?" Willow asked.

"Ahh…yes."

"So now Angel's soul is just floating around up there?" Fred asked. Willow nodded absently, laying out the next spell.

"Until I can channel it into the Orb of Thessulah."

"Connor shouldn't have run off like that." Fred said.

"I'm sure he's just worried about Cordelia." Wesley said.

"Did anyone ever think that their relationship might be a little bit…icky?"

"It's not a relationship." Deirbhile muttered from behind them.

"Why not?" Wesley looked over his shoulder at her.

"Because he doesn't belong to her."

"Who does he belong to?" Fred asked.

"Not her." Deirbhile slouched lower in her seat. "Lucky for Cordelia, too."

"Why's that?"

"Just is. Do the spell already. Angel's soul can't get home on its' own, and Faith can't come back until he's back."

Fred lifted the book with her portion of the spell, sounding out the words. Willow followed suit, reading her section. Deirbhile glanced up, seeing Connor slip down the stairs and into the basement; she followed, waiting at the top of the steps and half-listening to the spell behind her.

"Gunn. I thought you should know." Connor clattered down the stairs. "They haven't finished the spell yet…" Without finishing the sentence he hit Gunn, knocking him into the cage and out cold.

"I need you to fight." Angel murmured.

"I'm pretty clear about what you need." Connor said coldly, lifting his stake.

A hand wrapped around his from behind, stopping him. "Pick me up a switch, son." Faith drawled. "There's about to be a whuppin'."

They fought, up and down the room, ignoring the rest of Angel Inc who poured in from upstairs; Deirbhile scooted several steps further down to avoid them.

"She's alive, it's a miracle!" Lorne told them.

"Not for much longer." Deirbhile muttered, standing and continuing down to the basement. She circled the fighters, slipping into the cage and kneeling beside Angel.

Faith was winning; they could see it clearly, but Connor didn't stop, getting up every time she knocked him down. After a minute she threw him against the cage, and before he could pull away, Angel caught him from behind, through the bars.

"Connor! It's over. It's me. Really." Connor sagged in his grip. Faith relaxed out of her stance, eyeing the pair cautiously; neither moved, until Deirbhile came out of the cage and took Connor's hand. She didn't speak, reaching out to touch his face lightly and then transferring her touch to Angel's hand. He let go of his son, slumping against the bars himself; Faith went to help him, and Deirbhile tugged lightly on Connor's hand, leading him up and out of the basement. The others, still on the stairs, made way for them in silence.

"Where are we going?" Connor asked when they reached the lobby.

"Your room."

"Why?" She stopped, looking back at him.

"You're tired. You're not seeing clearly. You need some sleep."

"I don't need sleep."

"We've had this conversation."

"I don't care!" He pulled away from her.

"Then don't care upstairs. They'll be coming up; do you want to be here?"

He glanced at the basement door. "I don't care what they think."

"Then don't care upstairs. Please, Stephen. If you don't care, I do. Come upstairs."

"Fine." He followed her towards the stairs.

__

"I thought this might be it."

Connor looked around slowly. As ever, the sun was shining brightly overhead; today, however, the house was empty, and no one was sitting in the garden. "Tara?"

"Here." He turned to see her sitting in a tree at the edge of the lawn.

"What are we doing here?"

"You tell me. You called me here this time. I was just going to let you sleep."

"Really?"

She nodded, sliding out of the tree and coming to stand beside him. "You never look rested after we come here. I don't know why, since you're asleep. Maybe your brain thinks you're awake."

"How could I…I don't even know how."

"I don't know how I do half the things I do. Somewhere inside is the knowledge." She studied him thoughtfully. "Someday you'll be able to be here and there all at once. Like I do."

"What's happening back there?"

Deirbhile shrugged. "Everyone's sort of sitting around, dazed. So much time and effort to bring Angel back…and now he's here, and no one's quite sure what's going to happen now."

Connor snorted. "Doesn't surprise me."

"No." Deirbhile smiled faintly.

"Where is everyone?" Connor asked, gesturing towards the house.

"I guess you didn't bring them. I'll have to introduce you. I think you'd like them."

"Really?"

"Um, actually, no. Sometimes I don't think you like me."

Connor looked up in surprise. "Why?"

"Just…sometimes I'm not sure."

"Now?"

"No, now I'm fairly sure you do. You wouldn't have called me here otherwise."

"I didn't call you."

"Sure you did." She studied him for a minute. "Why did you do it?"

"Do what?" He turned away, pretending interest in a flowerbed near them.

"Try to kill Angelus."

"He's evil." Connor muttered.

"Oh please! You expect me to believe you left him alone for hours while he was helpless, then tried to kill him when Willow was on the verge of re-ensouling him?"

"I couldn't get to him then." Connor's excuses were getting weaker.

Deirbhile stared at him. "What is it, Stephen? Why won't you tell me?"

"Because I don't want to." he gritted, fading out of sight as he did so.

Connor's waking pulled Deirbhile out of sleep as well; she blinked, forcing herself awake, and scrambled to her feet. The room was empty; Connor had already left.

"Damn it." she muttered, pushing her hair back and heading back to the lobby.

Connor was sitting sullenly under Gunn's watchful eye, being lectured to; Deirbhile crossed to sit beside him, glaring at Gunn. Gunn, mindful of what she'd done to him before, backed off a little.

"I get it." Connor sounded bored more than anything else. "I messed up."

"Cheer up, punk." Faith came in with Angel in time to hear him. "That just makes you one of us."

"You headed out?" Gunn asked her. Faith patted Connor's shoulder absently.

"Yeah, no tears, big guy."

"Nah, I'm good. I just wish I coulda seen you kicking the crap out of Junior here."

"It was pretty funny." Faith agreed.

"Big words." Deirbhile said tightly.

"Got a problem?" Faith asked innocently.

"Yeah. Stop picking on Connor."

"Deirbhile, stop." Connor said quietly. "You think I care what they think?"

"They have no right to pass judgment on you."

"I'm Connor's father." Angel pointed out.

"You have no idea what Connor is." Deirbhile told him.

"Deirbhile! Leave it." Connor said again. She held eye contact with Faith until the other girl looked away as though bored, and then sat next to Connor with her arms folded.

"Wes." Faith said, ignoring Connor and Deirbhile totally.

"Faith." Wes returned.

"See? Brits know how to say goodbye." Faith told Angel. To Wes, she added, "Angel here wanted to hug."

"No I didn't." Angel said quickly.

Faith smiled. "You run a good show."

"Yeah, sit back and let the girl do all the heavy lifting." Gunn put in.

"That's pretty much it." Wes agreed.

"I think that volume's outdated." Fred and Willow came from the office. "You'd know better than me. But there's some interesting stuff about Hellmouths. Might help."

"This is great." Willow assured her.

"I have to say. Someday I'd love to bend your ear about the Perngeruim Codex. I think some of the really obscure passages are actually Latin translated from a demon tongue, and they're kind of a hoot. All this stuff about Bachnals, and spells, and…actually, I think it's probably funnier in Latin. You know how that is sometimes."

"I'm seeing someone." Willow said apologetically.

Fred blinked but…wisely…didn't answer.

"Time goes by, Will." Faith said.

"OK. Good. Wagons west. See you, guys."

"Willow?" Angel took a step forward.

"He's gonna tell you how much he owes you." Faith warned Willow.

"Aww, don't mention it! I got a Slayer out of the deal, so we're Even Steven." She stepped forward and hugged him. "I'll tell Buffy you said hi."

"Thanks."

"Ohh…" she turned to look at the whole group. "Next time you guys resurrect Angelus, call me first, OK?"

Faith waved from behind her, and then both girls were gone. Angel took a minute to simply stand, then he turned to face the others.

__

My team. My friends.

"So we're back." His tone was vaguely questioning.

"It would seem." Wes agreed.

"Look. I know things have been…"

"Sorry, Angel." Cordelia interrupted him. She continued slowly down the stairs into the lobby. "But if this is the speech about how the worst is behind us, you might want to save it for later."

As she spoke, she stroked her belly…huge now with the life within it.


	10. Players

Author's note: Sorry it's been so long. Trouble with my PC.

MeryKey: Yay! Thanks for the review!

Previously on _Angel:_ Cordelia reveals her pregnancy to a shocked Angel Investigations.

Jasmine Players

"I know it's a bit of a shock." she hurried on. "And no one was more shocked than me. OK, maybe him." She smiled at Connor as he rose, moving to her side.

Angel stared at them standing together, but he didn't move, didn't speak.

"Um…sorry to be so…" Fred gestured helplessly. "But I'm…like you said, kind of shocked."

"Yeah," Gunn agreed, "'cos hasn't it only been, like…definitely shocked."

"I haven't been hiding." Cordelia told them. "Or ashamed or anything. It's just, with the Beast and his psycho Master, and then Faith and Willow and all that dram'o'rama, not to mention…"

"Angelus." Angel said.

"Everything's just been so…Clash of the Titans around here. I didn't want to be a distraction."

Everyone looked up when the hotel door opened and Lorne came in. He made it all of three steps before stopping dead.

"Wha…put me on the short bus and send me off to Clueless school! A mystical pregnancy right under my beak, and not even a tingle? " He moved past Cordelia and she turned back to look at everyone else.

"How long have you known?" Wesley asked.

"Some time after we brought forth Angelus." Cordelia told him.

"But that's a couple of weeks! Looks more like eight months." Gunn protested.

"The last time Cordelia was impregnated she came to term overnight." Wes mused. Gunn shot him a bemused look.

"That was a crawly evil demon thing. This is different." Cordelia insisted. Connor came to stand quietly behind her.

"Still, shouldn't we try to find out…what's in there?" Fred suggested.

"We already know." Connor told her. "Our baby."

Behind them, and being ignored, Deirbhile made retching noises. After a brief alarmed look from Lorne, they kept ignoring her.

Everyone stood in silence for a minute until Gunn said, too brightly, "Well, congratulations!" Looking at Angel, he added, "You're gonna have a grandspawn."

"You don't know what it's like." Connor accused him. Gunn looked confused. "How scary it is?" Connor went on. Deirbhile stood, but he ignored her and continued, "I'm going to have a child, and all you can do is joke 'cause you don't like me."

No one had anything to say to that, and with a muttered, "We shouldn't have told them." he turned and went upstairs.

"Cordelia…" Fred started.

"I know it's hard to understand." Cordelia said. "None of you have ever had a living being growing inside of you. And this…my sweet baby…we're connected. I feel what it feels, and I can't explain it but I sense its' goodness. Its' love. You'll see. My baby will be here soon, and then you'll all see."

"You people are all idiots." Deirbhile said clearly, heading for the stairs.

"Excuse me?" Gunn asked.

"You heard me." She didn't stop, continuing up the stairs and out of sight.

"Stephen?"

"Go away."

"Open the door."

"Go away."

"Not gonna. Open the door."

"Go away."

"You don't have a parrot in there do you?"

"Go…what's a parrot?"

"Ah. Not a parrot. Are we getting anywhere near you opening the door?"

"No! Go away."

"Already said I'm not gonna."

"Then you can sit out there. I'm not coming out."

"Who said anything about coming out?"

There was a long pause. Finally the door scraped open. Deirbhile didn't stand, instead craning her neck to see him properly.

"What's a parrot?"

"That's a start."

"This isn't even your room. Why are you here?"

"Everyone knows where my room is."

"Good point."

They were sitting on opposite sides of a room used for storage; Connor was sitting on the edge of a chair, and Deirbhile was slouched on the floor. For the most part they were sitting in silence; Deirbhile had quickly realized Connor wasn't feeling talkative, even by his standards, and so she was simply keeping him company as she had Merrick, several years earlier.

She glanced up from her attempts to get comfortable—there was only one chair, and Connor didn't seem likely to give it up—to find him watching her. "What?"

"It's just you…"

The door opened, and he turned to see Cordelia coming in. Glancing back at Deirbhile, he realized Cordelia couldn't see her from where she was. He felt oddly reluctant to reveal her, even to Cordelia, so he said nothing.

"I've been looking all over for you." She closed the door and came further into the room. Connor deliberately didn't look at Deirbhile, hoping not to draw Cordelia's attention. "Connor, what they said? You can't let it bother you."

"I don't care what they say." Connor told her.

"Really? That why you retreated to the Fortress of Solitude?"

Connor looked at her for a long minute before rising to his feet and pacing away. "It doesn't make sense."

"Freaking out over a pregnancy's pretty much the MO of the gang around here." Cordelia pointed out.

"Not them. You." Connor corrected her. "All that stuff you said about Angleus…and Willow, she didn't open a gate to evil, she put back Angels' soul. I almost killed him."

"But you didn't. Angel's back, everything worked out. Everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn't always seem that way."

"How can you say that?" Connor demanded.

"Think about it." Cordelia urged him. "You sinking Angel to the bottom of the ocean, getting kicked out of the house…me not knowing who I was and coming to you for help…all of those moments and a million others led to this miracle."

"And sending me down to the basement? I had the stake. What was the reason for that?" He moved towards her, using his height to crowd her.

"I thought our baby was in danger. And all of my instincts told me that killing Angelus was the only way to protect it."

"You were wrong." Connor said flatly. He dropped back into his seat, ignoring her.

Cordelia hesitated for a moment before hunkering beside him.

"What's important is that when I needed help you were there for me. Now I know I can trust you. Completely. No matter what. See? Everything happens for a reason."

She rose and wandered away. "Connor, before our baby comes…I might ask you to do some things. For us. And I want you to remember. There's always a reason."

Connor bowed his head. "I'll remember."

Deirbhile didn't move until Cordelia had left; then she scrambled to kneel beside Connor. He was slumped in the seat and didn't look up.

"Connor." she said, then, more urgently when he didn't answer, "_Stephen. _Look at me."

"What do you want?" His tone was dull.

"Why do you ask when you know? Stephen, please. Listen. I need you to tell me. The baby, Stephen. Do you want her?"

Connor looked up at that. "Of course I do. Why would you ask that?"

"To know, Stephen. It's not like you're falling over yourself to tell me."

"It's not like you've earned the right." he retorted.

Deirbhile sank back onto her heels. "That's not fair."

"Isn't it? What have you done, Deirbhile?"

"Everything!" She rose to her feet. "What do you want, Stephen? Tell me and I'll have it done. You know that."

"You say things. That's all I know."

Deirbhile laughed suddenly. "You think I'm crazy. All the time, I mean, not just when I really am."

"I don't think you're crazy." Connor muttered. "Except when you are."

"Then what? Stephen, help me out. Tell me what I have to do."

Connor shook his head, getting up and going to the door. "My baby is what matters. I have to protect our family."

"I'll help you."

"No!" He spun to face her. "I don't want your help. I'll protect our family on my own."

Before she could say anything else he slammed out of the room and away.

__

"Where did you go?" Connor asked idly.

She'd persuaded him into the house in Turtle Cove tonight. Her friends, minus Merrick, were sitting in the other room, talking and laughing amongst themselves. Deirbhile and Connor couldn't quite hear what they were talking about, but the sound was very relaxing.

They'd silently agreed not to talk about that evening; the fight was gone as though it had never been. Neither spoke about his family, either; Deirbhile accepted his need to protect them, and that was enough.

For now.

"Where did I go when?"

"When you left Turtle Cove. Before Cole was born."

"Which time?" She looked up at him. "I left twice. The first time I was running away."

"From what?" Connor sat forward, interested now.

"From them." She gestured towards the other door. "From the fear of losing them." She shrugged faintly. "The second time I went to San Francisco."

"What was that like?"

"Sore, mostly." She laughed at his expression. "I was there on business, Stephen. A demon was rising, Pyralis, and I needed help from some people there to stop him."

"You don't fight demons." Connor protested.

"I do fight Pyralis, when he rises. He attacks Earth, not people."

"So who were the people who helped you?"

"Witches." Seeing him wince, she added, "Good witches. They do…pretty much what you do. Kill demons."

"Who were they?"

"Piper and Phoebe Halliwell. Paige Matthews. Leo, Piper's husband…he's not a witch."

"Men usually aren't." Connor pointed out.

"Actually, they sometimes are. Why the sudden interest?"

Connor shrugged. "You've watched me all my life. All my life here, anyway. I don't know anything about you."

"So ask me something."

He studied her for a minute. "Tell me about your husband."

"Cerbhall? I met him…thirty-one hundred years ago, in…well, it's Ireland now."

"Never heard of it."

"Really? Holtz was English, right? Ireland's the next country over. And Angel's Irish—or at least, Liam was Irish." She glanced up as a burst of laughter came from the next room. "Cerbhall was a prince at the time. We met up, we spent some time together…we got married."

"So what happened?" Connor asked.

"He died an old man." She shrugged again. "Really, Stephen, there isn't much more than that."

"You've only married once?"

She nodded. "I don't do casual relationships. I married Cerbhall because I loved him. And I got to watch him die. Straight after that I met Merrick, just in time to watch his world fall apart and him get buried alive."

"You loved him." Connor said flatly.

"I thought I did. I don't know now. I was on the rebound, after all."

"Bullshit."

Deirbhile raised an eyebrow. "Where did you learn language like that?"

"Gunn." Connor grinned suddenly. "He forgets how good my hearing is."

"I see. Well, you probably shouldn't use words like that, but hey. Whatever floats your boat. Now, what don't you believe about what I said?"

"You always know what you're doing. Except for when you're crazy. Which you weren't then. So you do know whether you loved him or not."

"Damn. You're good."

"So tell me." He was sitting forward on the edge of his chair, leaning towards her.

"I…Stephen, I spent only a couple of months there. And in that time, I saw him for maybe a few hours. He was very nice to me, but I think…" She hesitated, looking around the room before looking back at him. "I think I loved the idea_ of him. He was the Princess' bodyguard, and he was brave, and strong, and kind and all those other fairy-story-prince things. But I didn't _know_ him at all. So no, I wasn't in love with him."_

"And in Turtle Cove?"

"He was…a link. To my past. The only link I've had in a long time. But he hated me, at first." She lifted one hand to touch her cheek. "He hit me, the first conversation we had."

"He hit you?" Connor repeated.

"He was angry and hurt and he hadn't expected to see me. He was reacting without thinking."

"Yes, but he hit you." Connor said.

"And I told him he had a right to. Actually, I told Cole he had a right to…Cole was playing the knight in shining armor, you see, to my damsel in distress."

"Is…that what I'm supposed to do?" Deirbhile looked up sharply. "Be your knight in shining armor?"

"Out of interest, if I said yes, what would you do? You're already protecting Cordelia and her baby. What would you do if I said yes, I want you to come protect me?"

Connor struggled with it. "I don't know." he said finally. "But you're not, are you?"

"No. I told you before. I'm not going to ask you for anything…nothing more involved than 'please pass the salt', anyway. You are mine, and most everything you do will be just what I would ask you to do anyway. So I don't need to ask you to do anything."

"I don't understand you. I never understand you." he said, getting up, pacing frustratedly. "What is…why do you stay in LA? It's killing you being there."

"That's true." She studied him for a long minute. "Since you came back, Stephen, the longest you've spent with anyone is the three months in the hotel, right? With Gunn and Fred?"

"Right."

"But that's the longest…no one's stayed with you." Connor shut his eyes, shuddering slightly. "I'm going to. I'm not going to ask you for anything. I'm just going to stay with you."

"But you don't have to do that here. You can see me no matter where you are, and I can sense_ you. You don't have to stay in LA."_

She shrugged…fairly uselessly, because he hadn't opened his eyes yet. "You say that. But if I left, there'd be part of you saying see? See? No one ever stays with you. She didn't mean it any more than anyone else did._ And then I'd never get you back."_

"If you have to leave…"

"I can handle a lot." she said quietly when he trailed off. "I've been a lot worse than you've seen. I'm not leaving, Stephen."

"Hey!" Both jumped and looked up; Cole was hanging in the doorway.

"What's up, Cole?" Deirbhile asked.

"Max. He drank three bottles of Coke and now he won't sit down."

"Great. Max on a caffeine high. Take him outside and play something with a lot of running around. We'll be out soon."

"'Kay." Cole vanished. Connor shook his head slightly.

"This is a real memory?"

"Yes. And trust me, it's not one I want to relive. Max on his own is rambunctious enough; Max on a caffeine high? Not pretty. Anyway, it's about time you were waking up."

"Why?"

"Big stuff happening. Everyone's gone somewhere, and I think we need to be paying attention."

"What's going on?" He rose from his seat.

"I don't know. I can't tell from here. I really think you need to wake up."

Connor nodded slowly, vanishing as he did so. Deirbhile took a last look around the room and likewise faded.


	11. Inside Out

Author's Note: Whoo! Three reviews! Tuesday morning's obviously the time to update…so why I'm doing it on a Sunday night is beyond me.

Name: messege.

Anme: messege.

Name: messege.

Previously on _Angel:_ AI discovered that Cordelia has been turned evil and was behind the rise of the Beast. An attempt to stop her was thwarted by Connor, and the pair escaped together.

Jasmine: Inside Out

__

Timing's a bit off in this chapter; sorry. It just wouldn't straighten out for me!

Connor was gone when she reached his room; she wandered down to the lobby and settled on the couch there, waiting. When the others dragged in she handed Fred an icepack without speaking and vacated the couch, settling on the stairs instead. Gunn came in soon after, messing with his phone.

"Just got your message. Being around Electric Gwen can really mess with the…" he trailed off, looking around. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Cordy's evil." Fred told him. "Nice suit." she added.

"It's not Cordy." Angel muttered from behind the desk.

"We don't know that for certain." Wes said.

"Whoa. Back it up for the new guy." Gunn asked. "You're saying Pop and Momma threw you a beating?"

"Kid Vicious did the heavy lifting. Cordy just m'wu-ha-ha'd at us." Lorne lifted his drink.

"Why?" Gunn asked.

"Beastmaster." Angel said simply.

"You think Cordy's working for him?"

"She is the Master." Fred said.

Gunn took a deep breath and sat down. "Guy steps out for a few hours, half the place goes super villain."

"Connor's not part of this." Angel said quietly.

"Evidence upside my head to the contrary." Lorne said pointedly.

"He's just…confused. Again." Angel said. Deirbhile shifted slightly where she was sitting, but she didn't say anything.

"Now we know what she's been doing with him all this time." Fred said suddenly. "She's been…grooming him."

"As _her _Champion." Wes said. Lorne turned to look at Deirbhile, who still didn't say anything.

Deirbhile was thinking hard. She tuned out the rest of what they were saying; they were rehashing the events of the last few weeks, trying to pin down when Cordelia had changed. She, on the other hand, was trying to figure why Connor was so wrapped up in this, and how she'd missed it.

After a little while they split up. Deirbhile stayed where she was, barely blinking when Gunn stepped over her on his way upstairs.

Some time passed; she wasn't paying enough attention to say how much. She was vaguely aware that Angel had gone away and come back with a demon, and that the group was threatening the demon to make him talk. Since she knew most of what he was talking about, she didn't bother listening. Lorne and Wesley went away to do a spell to find Cordelia; Angel went to brood somewhere; Fred and Gunn stayed to guard the demon. No one paid any attention to her, so she continued ignoring them. She was busy anyway.

Eventually Lorne and Wes came back with a map, which Angel took. While he studied it and talked quietly to Wes, Lorne settled beside her, finishing off his drink. "You haven't told them."

"No, I haven't."

"Are you planning to?"

"Looks like I might not have a choice." She bit her lip, thinking.

"Why haven't you?"

"Because it should be his to tell, not mine."

"Has it ever occurred to you that he may not want to be yours? That he may not want to be anybody's?"

"In that case, Lorne, he'd better stay mine. Because I'm not asking anything of him." She shifted on her step so she could look straight at him. "The Powers keep their Champions busy. Like…remember a couple years ago when you came to ask Angel for help? That grad student was going to freeze time. Remember?"

"Sure I remember. That was just after…" he hesitated, then, more slowly, "just after the mess with Darla."

"Right. Angel was within a hairs' breadth of giving up on the whole thing right then. So they used you to draw him back in." She laced her fingers together, studying them carefully. "Buffy's been pulled in so many directions the last few years I'm surprised she even knows which way is up…the Powers do not let go of their Champions. I do. Well, more or less."

"More or less? You lost me, kiddo."

"I always see him. I always know where he is and what he's doing…but I don't influence him. What I want is for him to be happy and for that, he needs to choose his own path."

"Not in favor of the 'cruel to be kind' theory, huh?"

"Oh, no, I follow that theory. Usually. Stephen is a special case."

"You do? When?" Deirbhile took a deep breath.

"When I was in Turtle Cove, two of our group were blinded temporarily. And while everyone else was comforting them and telling them not to worry, I was yelling and telling them they had to fight anyway."

"Did it work?"

"It worked. Alyssa didn't talk to me for a while, but it worked. They won, and they got their vision back."

"So it worked out."

"Yeah. See, since I don't usually hang around, I don't need to worry about what people think of me. But Alyssa was really hurt, and that hurt." She shook her head sharply. "This is totally off-topic. Stephen's mine."

"But what does he think?" Lorne asked gently.

"He was starting to come around. And then Cordelia started whispering in his ear…you know what she did? She used his resentment of Angel against him. 'Oh, Connor, I thought you'd be a better father than yours was to you, Connor, I need your help, Connor, they'll kill the baby, Connor…' Pfff. Higher powers, what do they know."

Lorne went very still. "This…thing's a higher power?"

"Probably not. I can't really tell. Whatever it is, it has Stephen pretty damn confused."

"Can you help?"

Deirbhile rose to her feet, suddenly towering over him. "You haven't been _listening_. I'm not going to try, because he has to make his own decisions."

"You can help." Angel said from behind her. "I just don't get why you're not."

"No, of course you don't." Deirbhile stepped down into the lobby. The others came back, sensing…something. "Of course you don't."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Have you actually looked at Stephen recently?"

"His name," Angel said through gritted teeth, "is Connor."

"So you're _not _paying attention then. I wondered." She glanced briefly at Lorne. "He told me I could call him Stephen if I wanted, Angel." She paused politely; when Angel didn't say anything, she went on, "Have you looked at him lately? Your son's drowning, you know."

"That's because Cordelia…"

"No it's not. Your son's been drowning for months. You just haven't been watching. For gods' sake, Angel, you threw him out of the hotel."

"He threw me into the ocean!" Angel reminded her angrily.

"Yeah. Yeah he did. Tell me something. When he first arrived here. If you hadn't known who he was, if he just arrived out of a portal and started attacking…you'd have killed him."

"No!" Angel growled.

"Yes." Deirbhile said relentlessly. "If he'd been just a random evil, attacking for no reason you could figure…poof. Dead."

"Is there a point to this?" Wes asked. Deirbhile nodded.

"There is. You were raised as a Watcher, more or less, weren't you?"

"More or less." Wes agreed.

"So if you came across a vampire that said 'don't kill me, I'm a good vampire'…would you have believed it?"

"No." Wes said quietly.

"No more did Stephen."

"Connor." Angel muttered.

"He pretended to. But he didn't. He was raised to think you were the foulest, most evil thing ever. He's the Destroyer and he destroyed. Because he didn't know any better. And then, when he was starting to think _hey, this family stuff's not so bad, _you came back and said no, I didn't kill Holtz, and he started to think _wait…maybe I was wrong._ And then you threw him away."

"He needed…" Angel started.

"What? A time out? To think about what he'd done? Three months hadn't done that, a few more weeks wasn't gonna make a difference, Angel."

Angel raised his face; he was very close to attacking her right then, and they both knew it. "Why do you care so much?"

"You still don't get it, do you, Angel?" Deirbhile's eyes were hard and cold. "You belong to the Powers. Cordelia, Buffy, Doyle…they all belong to the Powers. Connor belongs to me." Angel, who had frowned at Buffy's name and scowled at Doyle's, blinked in surprise at that.

"Connor…is your Champion?"

"Since when?" Gunn asked in surprise.

"Since always. Connor's always been mine."

"Doesn't…Connor belong to the Powers, too?" Fred asked.

"No. If Angel had been the first thing to hold him, then yeah. But Darla dusted herself and the first thing Connor touched was the ground." She looked back at Angel. "He's mine."

"Then why won't you help him?" Angel demanded. "Cordelia's got him…brainwashed, and all you can do is stand there and tell us he's yours?"

"I'm not going to tell him what to do. People have done that all his life. Holtz told him to kill you. You told him Holtz was evil. Everyone else expected him to be Mini-You. Connor has no idea who Connor is and I'm not going to stop him trying to find out."

"But Cordelia's evil." Gunn pointed out.

"It doesn't matter. Connor knows I'm not going to tell him what to do; that was one of the first things I explained, when he found out he's my Champion. If I start trying now he'll never trust me again."

"I thought you loved him." Fred said softly. "He's going to be hurt."

"I do love him. That's not the point. He's going to be hurt no matter what, everything's gone too far now. There's nothing I can do about that." She looked at Angel again. "He's had nothing constant, Angel. Holtz died, you died, and now Cordelia…I am going to be his constant. And for that, I can't start telling him what to do."

"When did I die?" Angel asked, confused.

"In a cage in the basement." She gestured downwards. "You made him sit there and watch while you died, and someone else took over your body."

"That's not fair." Fred protested.

"Oh? He didn't make you watch, or Lorne, and he tried to send Cordelia away. But Connor had to stay."

"I needed Connor there in case something went wrong." Angel said quietly. "Because I knew he'd kill me."

"Wesley would have killed you. Gunn would have killed you. Hell, Cordelia would've, if she'd been in her right mind. You wanted Connor there because you wanted to prove to him that you and Angelus are separate people. Well, you did that all right."

"You're not being fair." Wes said quietly.

"I'm being perfectly fair. Angel loves Connor, we all know that. He wanted to prove that he isn't what Connor was raised to think he is." She shrugged. "Didn't work, but hey. We all have bad days."

"Are you trying to delay us?" Wesley asked.

"Yes. How's it working?"

"You're going to be late too."

"No I'm not. I have other means of transportation. Much faster than yours. Particularly since every road and sewer tunnel leading away from this hotel has mysteriously been blocked. Gosh darn it."

Angel took a step forward, looming over her, and she raised her chin defiantly. "I wouldn't, Angel, but you go right ahead if it'll make you feel better."

"We're only trying to help Connor." Fred said softly.

"No, you're trying to stop Cordelia. There's a difference. And besides, Connor has help right now." She looked around the group. "Well, I have to go. Bye." She took a step forward and stopped, glaring at Angel who hadn't moved out of her way. "Get out of the way, Angel."

"Make me."

"Oh, I will if I have to. Try me." Angel stared at her for a long moment before moving…barely…to one side. Deirbhile bowed mockingly and slipped past him.

"Someone's going to die there, Thariin." Lorne called after her.

"I know." She didn't turn to look at him. "But it's not going to be him. I won't let him."

"You can't control everything."

"I don't need to control everything. Just this thing." She took a step, hesitated, turned back. "Look…I know you're the good guys here. I don't want to be fighting you. But right now, all I care about is Connor."

"Connor?" Wes repeated sharply. "Or Stephen?"

"That's…" she took a breath. "Between him and me. I need him. I need him alive and I want him happy."

"What for?" Wes asked.

"I don't have time for this…Earth is dying. Too many people, too much pollution, for too long a time. My Champions are rising and Stephen is my best and brightest. I need him, and if getting him means you end up hating me…" she shrugged. "That's the price I'm going to have to pay."

"We really do want to help him." Angel said softly.

"If you find them, and Cordelia's about to give birth, you'll kill her without even stopping to think." Deirbhile said just as softly. "You have to. You're the Powers' Champion. But that'll really screw Stephen up…he's halfway to being _hers. _I can't stop her for the same reason and if I let you kill her, he'll never come back to me."

"If this thing in Cordelia is born…"

"The world will come to an end. _I know that!_" Deirbhile snarled. "Without Stephen it's gonna happen anyway. And if the world _does_ come to an end? At least I'll know that I _tried _to help your poor, screwed-up son. Now. I have to go." And with that she was gone.

"Well. That was…interesting." Lorne said thoughtfully.

"She has a point." Wes spoke quietly, knowing it was likely Angel would turn on him for even mentioning it. "If you kill Cordelia now…"

"I know." Angel said very clearly. "I'll lose both of them. I know, all right? I don't have a choice here."

Connor didn't look surprised to see her; that was possibly because the spirit of his mother was still floating around.

"Are you going to ask me to stop too? That seems to be the theme of the day." he asked bitterly.

"No."

"No? Then what are you doing here?"

"Keeping Angel and the others away. And something else."

"What else?" he demanded.

"Watching."

Connor caught her arm, pulling her away from Darla and from the girl on the floor. "What do you mean, watching?"

"No one's ever stayed, have they? I'm going to. I'm going to watch you. And no matter what, Stephen, no matter what you decide tonight, I will still be with you. I'm not leaving."

"I don't want you to be here."

"I don't care. You need me to be here."

"Go away."

"No. You know what? You can't make me. I'm going to stay here. Nothing you can do will make me turn my back on you. You go ahead and do whatever you think you have to."

"You're not going to tell me what to do?"

"No. I think you've had enough of that from…oh…everyone in your life. I'm not going to tell you what to do, I trust you to do what's right for you." Slowly, making sure he could see her, she reached for the dagger that had been sheathed at her waist since Angel had given it back to her. She pulled it out of the sheath and flipped it, holding it by the blade and offering the handle to Connor.

"What is it?" Connor asked, making no move to take it.

"One of our greatest leaders made it for me, for a battle during the war. It was part of a pair, originally. I kept them for…" she shook her head. "Years. Thousands of years. I let one go, a long time ago, but I've always had the other. And then, not sixty years ago, I was…incapacitated. And when I was rational and coherent again, the dagger was gone. Angel took this one from a demon a few years ago; I don't know where the second one is, but I'm going to find it."

"But…" She didn't let him go on; she hadn't even heard him.

"Angel's demon said there was power in the blade. I lied to him. I told him there was no power in it. There is; it's just not power he can use."

"But you can." She heard that; refocusing with an effort, she nodded, proffering the blade again.

"You and me, Stephen."

"Whatever it is, I don't want it."

"Then don't use it. But take it, Stephen. Take it and know that I'm always with you, no matter what. Always."

Shaking, he took the dagger and stared at it for a minute, peripherally aware that Deirbhile was doing something else. After a moment she held out the sheath for it, and he took it, almost reluctantly sheathing the blade and attaching it to his belt.

"Cordelia won't like you being here."

"Let her." Deirbhile said airily. "She can't stop me. If she can even see me. I'm not sure about that."

"You don't lie to me." Connor said suddenly.

"Never, Stephen."

"Is that…" he swallowed, hesitating. "Is she really my mother?"

"Your mother's dead, Stephen. But the person out there has all her memories, and all her feelings…and personally, I think that's what makes a person. Memories." For a moment her gaze went distant; then she shook it off and looked back at him. "She's not here for anyone else. If that helps."

"She said the Powers sent her." he murmured.

"They did."

"But you…I thought I…"

"The Powers and I have an understanding. Don't worry about that. What I mean is, she's not from Cordelia. She's not from Angel, or any of his group. And the Powers have no power over you, so she's not here for them. She's just trying to help you."

"What do you think I should do?" Connor asked, searching her face.

"Personally? I think you should run like hell. But that's just my opinion."

"You always were so helpful." Deirbhile smiled faintly.

"Do what you think is right, Stephen. You can't really go wrong then, can you?"

"And if I think it's right to kill her?" Connor demanded, gesturing at the girl.

"Then you should do it." Deirbhile's gaze was steady on his.

"You don't really believe that."

"Hell I don't. Stephen, from my point of view she's gonna die any second anyway. If you think you should kill her, go ahead and kill her. You're not going to drive me away."

"Don't listen to her, Connor." Darla spoke up from behind them. "Don't kill her."

"We need her." Connor protested, not sure any more who he was arguing with. "For our baby. To protect it."

"By anointing it in the blood of an innocent?" Darla asked. "Do you really think safety can be plucked from the arms of an evil deed?"

"Good. Evil, they're just words." Connor said dully.

"Important words, though." Deirbhile commented.

"Still just words."

"Don't let this happen, Connor." Darla pleaded. "Don't let my death mean nothing."

"They hate us. Because we're special." Connor protested.

"I don't hate you. Please." The girl on the floor was crying constantly now; she could see neither Darla nor Deirbhile, so from her point of view Connor was talking to himself.

"They're scared." Darla said. "Because of what you've done. Not because of what you are."

"They wanted to kill me when I was still inside of you."

"But that changed when they saw you. Held you in their arms. Felt the warmth of your skin…"

"And it will happen again when they hold my child!" Connor said forcefully. He stopped pacing, looking at the girl on the floor for a moment before finishing quietly, "It's the only way."

"You have a choice, Connor. That is something more precious then you'll ever know."

"What choice? They're hunting us like animals!"

"Because you're acting like one! As a vampire I killed without mercy or remorse because I didn't have a soul. What's your excuse?"

"You think I wanna do this?"

"Then don't."

"I have to." Connor said softly. Deirbhile looked up but said nothing.

"Why? Because she told you?" Darla glanced at the other room before continuing. "There are things happening, Connor, things that I can't…it has to be your choice. You can stop this."

Deirbhile came to stand directly in front of Connor, who all but ignored her; he was wrapped so deeply in his misery it was surprising he even heard Darla.

"Her blood for our baby's…it's fair, isn't it?" Connor asked, almost begging.

"Please…" the girl wept. "I wanna go home…"

"Shut up!" Connor yelled.

"This isn't you, Connor." Darla said gently.

"You've been gone a long time, Mom." Connor said bitterly. "How would you know?"

"Because we shared a soul. I feel the hurt, the anger, the pain like it were my own." She moved in front of Connor; Deirbhile backed away, and he suddenly realized Darla couldn't see her either. "But most of all? I feel the good in you. And no matter how much you're beaten, or twisted, or lied to…it's still there. In your heart." She reached out gently and laid her hand on his chest. "I know it. And deep down, you know it too."

Connor stared at her for a long minute before moving away and kneeling next to the girl. She cringed away from him, terrified.

"Shhh. It's OK." He started to untie her.

"You're all right now." Darla said quietly. "Everything's going to be all…"

"What are you doing?" Cordelia asked from behind them.

"Nothing." Connor blurted, turning awkwardly to look at her. "I, uh…"

"It's time. Take her in the other room."

Connor hesitated, looking back at the girl.

"Listen to your heart." Darla urged him.

"She didn't do anything. We should let her go." Connor said slowly.

"No we shouldn't. We need her, Connor. Our baby…"

"Shouldn't be anointed with innocent blood."

Cordelia raised an eyebrow. "Anointed? Who's been filling your head with big, confusing words?"

Connor turned, looking at Darla but not focusing on her. "I've just been thinking about it."

"Or maybe," Cordeila said thoughtfully, "a little birdie's been pecking at you behind my back."

"She'll lie to you." Darla said warningly. Connor almost turned to look at her, but caught himself in time.

"You know how much they love to use the magic, Connor." Cordelia was wandering almost lazily around the room. "A spell for this, a spell for that…"

"Close her out, baby." Darla urged him.

"Whatever you're hearing, whatever you _think _you're seeing, it's a trick."

"Don't let her in."

Connor was literally being pulled in two directions; he focused on Deirbhile, who was leaning against a wall in front of him.

"It's Angel."

"No!"

"Trying to turn you against me. With a cheap vision of…" Cordelia hesitated for a moment, staring straight at Darla.

"…Darla."

Connor stared from one to the other. "You can see her?"

"I see the lies." Cordelia answered.

"Connor, listen to me." Darla begged.

"It's not her." Cordelia told him.

"You have to let her go."

"It's your father." Cordelia strode up to him. "This is how much he hates you."

"I love you. Please…"

"Torturing you with this sad imitation of your dead mother."

"Don't let her do this."

"Are you going to let them do this to us? Are you going to let them kill our baby?" Cordelia demanded.

Connor squeezed his eyes shut, searching, trying to find something, anything to show him the way.

The house in Turtle Cove flashed before his eyes and he grabbed it, summoning it and concentrating until he could feel the heat of the sun.

__

Deirbhile was watching him curiously.

"Some reason we're here?"

"I don't…" He shut his eyes again. "They're both…I don't know what to do, I can't…" He looked up again. "Is one of them lying?"

"Yes."

"Which one?"

Deirbhile shook her head slowly. "It doesn't work like that, Stephen. I don't know. All I know is, someone's lying there."

"You're not…"

"Connor." Hearing her say that name shocked him into silence, and she continued quickly, "We've talked about this. You just need to do what you think is right. You can't go wrong that way. I promise. Do what you think you should, and everything will work out fine."

Connor nodded slowly, and closed his eyes,

and opened them to glare at Darla. "You are not my mother!"

He caught the girl by the hands, dragging her into the other room and dropping her on the floor there. She lifted her head, crying, and Darla looked up at him. "Please. Don't do this, Connor. Don't…"

Behind her, Cordelia lifted the cleaver.

Blood spattered across Connor's face. He didn't react as the girl fell to the floor.

"There. That wasn't so hard, was it?" Cordelia asked.

Connor was still staring at the body a few minutes later when Cordelia called him. "We have to do this…while it's fresh."

Reluctantly, Connor knelt and laid his hand in the pool of blood next to the body. Rising, he crossed and knelt again next to Cordelia, who was muttering in a language he didn't recognize. "Do it, Connor. Do it now. Do it now…"

He pressed his hand against her stomach, leaving a bloody handprint that was quickly absorbed into her skin.

The ground rumbled under them, and Cordelia cried out.

"Cordy!" Connor fumbled for her hand. "Something's wrong. We have to stop it."

"No. It's coming…it's coming. The beginning of a new world…"

He turned and saw Angel standing behind him, sword in hand.

"She lied to you, Connor."

"Don't listen." Cordelia gasped.

"To all of us. It's not Cordelia."

"Leave us alone!" Connor charged his father. Deirbhile skipped quickly out of the way, aware that since Angel couldn't see her and Connor was in no state to see anything she could be caught up in the fight by accident.

The pair fought back and forth, spurred on by Cordelia's cries of "Kill him!" Finally Angel gained the upper hand, clubbing his son to the floor.

"You think I want to do this?" As Connor regained his feet, Angel tossed him into the wall. "I don't have a choice!" He stalked over to Cordelia and raised his sword high. "I'm so sorry…"

Connor got to his feet and charged at his father.

Cordelia screamed one more time.

Deirbhile shuddered, suddenly realizing what was happening…

A brilliant light burst from Cordelia, forcing Connor and Angel back. Neither could look at it as it writhed, forming different shapes before settling on that of a woman.

Angel lifted his sword and charged at her, ready to strike…and then stopped, dropping the sword and falling to his knees. Across the room, Connor followed suit, while Deirbhile determinedly looked away.

"Oh, my God…" Angel breathed. "You're beautiful…"

The woman smiled gently. "Angel."


	12. Shiny Happy People

Author's note: Hi!

MeryKey: Thanks! You're rapidly becoming my most faithful reviewer…

Mercy: Thank you, I did have a nice Christmas. I got a star named after me ;P I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

__

Previously on Angel: Cordelia's 'child' is born, despite Angel's attempts to stop it.

Jasmine Shiny Happy People

She crossed the room slowly, picking up a blanket to form a rough dress. "It's all so…"

"Unworthy?" Angel said.

"Wonderful." she corrected him. "Cordelia. Thank you for protecting me and nourishing me. Your spirit has been my shelter, but you can rest easy now. I'm here."

"That's all she wanted." Connor said quietly. "To give you life."

"And I can feel all of it. The cold floor, the air…this skin. Everything is perfect."

"No. It's not." Angel said. "I came here to kill you." He held out his sword to her. "I should be punished."

She took the sword from him, and he lowered his head. "Angel, I can feel your suffering. Now, that suffering is going to end…"

The moment dragged out until he raised his head. He, Connor and Cordelia were alone in the room. The woman had vanished.

Deirbhile was crouched beside Connor, staring from him to Angel and back.

"Are you all right?"

"Where did she go?" Connor was almost dazed, and Deirbhile frowned.

"I don't know. Away, I wasn't…Connor?"

Ignoring her, he looked across at Angel. "We should find her."

"Yeah." Angel thought for a minute. "Let's go back to the hotel. Maybe Wesley can help."

"Right." Connor stood up, picking up the dagger Deirbhile had given him and staring at it blankly.

"You tried to use it on Angel." Deirbhile reminded him. "Stephen…"

"We should go." Still ignoring her, he looked across at Angel again. "So we can find her."

"Right." Angel led the way out of the room; Connor followed without looking back.

Left behind, Deirbhile stared at Cordelia for a long minute. Finally, she knelt beside her and lifted her easily, following Angel and Connor out and back towards the hotel.

They reached the lobby together; Connor went towards the press while Deirbhile lowered Cordelia onto the couch and backed away.

"Drop it, mister!" Fred erupted from the office, holding a long dagger in one hand.

"Don't get too close!" Lorne advised her from behind the desk.

Connor looked from one to the other, vaguely puzzled. "Drop it?"

"You heard me. Drop the knife."

"You're always after me to pick up after myself. I was just gonna put it away."

Fred frowned. "Wait. Are you still evil-ish? Cos I'm confused."

"Guys…" Fred turned, lowering her dagger, to see Angel standing next to Cordelia's couch. "It's OK. He's with me."

"Oh my god…Cordelia!" Fred threw the dagger onto the counter and ran to the couch, followed by Lorne. Behind them, Connor placidly went to put away his knife. "She's not…" Fred looked up at Angel, afraid to continue.

"No." he said quickly. "She's not dead. She's…resting. She's in a peaceful place."

Wes and Gunn came in in time to catch the end of that; Wes dropped his saw and crouched beside Cordelia.

"I meant…she's not pregnant." Fred said.

"Oh. No! Not anymore." Angel smiled.

"Then you were too late? The thing was born?" Wes asked sharply.

"I'm guessing it wasn't a chubby little cherub." Lorne said wistfully.

"Not exactly." Angel agreed.

"But you killed it. It's dead, right?" Gunn demanded.

Angel looked sheepish. "Well, I-I tried. I was going to, but I just…"

Connor came across the room. "You gotta stop torturing yourself, Dad." Angel sank his face into his hands; the others exchanged looks. Halfway up the stairs, Deirbhile folded herself into an even tighter ball. "He was like this all the way back in the car." Connor told Lorne—almost the first thing he'd ever addressed to Lorne that couldn't be construed as threatening.

"It escaped then?" Wes asked briskly.

"Disappeared." Angel agreed sadly. "Didn't even say goodbye."

"Is that, like…baby evil?" Fred asked hopefully.

"I imagine we're not talking about a baby." Wes said.

"No." Connor agreed.

"OK, so what are we dealing with?" Gunn asked. Catching sight of Deirbhile, he added, "You saw it?"

"I saw." Deirbhile agreed.

"Well what was it?"

"Not what you're thinking." Deirbhile told him. "She'll catch you."

"Not running." Gunn pointed out.

"Not relevant. Faith breeds substance and she hasn't much of either right now."

Gunn shook his head, giving up on her, and turned his attention back to Angel. "What _are_ we dealing with?"

"Eight legs, three heads, horns?" Fred added.

"Hey!" Lorne protested.

"No offense."

"Two legs. One head." Connor answered. "No horns."

"Oh, let me guess. Green?" Lorne asked bitterly.

"No. Kind of…mocha…" Angel said distractedly. "We need to find her."

"Agreed." Wes turned, already heading for the weapons cabinet.

"Hope this thing's easier to kill than the Beast." Gunn remarked, following him. Connor and Angel both turned at that.

"Kill?" Connor demanded. "No. No killing."

"Since when?" Gunn asked.

"Since we've all been saved." Angel was deadly serious.

"Oh. Well that's…crazy talk!" Fred protested.

Angel grinned, nudging Connor. "They don't understand."

"No." Connor agreed.

"We don't want to kill her." Angel took Wes's axe. "We just…wanna find her." He took Gunn's sword. "So we can worship her. That's all." He moved inbetween them to put the weapons away.

"She's amazing. You'll go nuts." Connor told them.

"Yeah, that'll definitely help us relate better." Gunn pointed out.

"When you meet her, you'll understand." Angel said happily.

"Angel, whatever you're feeling right now, it's some form of enchantment." Wesley said carefully.

"Yeah…"

"It's a spell. Think. Even before its' birth, this thing controlled Cordelia. Caused her to do unspeakable things. It's evil. Remember the rain of fire? Permanent midnight? The horrors done in its' name…"

"Must be rectified."

Everyone turned to look at the new person; Deirbhile unfolded from the stairs and crossed to stand beside Connor. He dropped instantly to his knees, echoed by Angel, as they realized who was standing just inside the door.

"My god…" Lorne breathed.

"People keep saying that." the woman noted with a smile. Lorne knelt.

"I'm just gonna…do this…" Fred dropped to her knees. Behind her, Gunn followed suit.

"For so long, you've all been drowning. In the fighting, and the pain. I'd like to help. If you'll have me."

Wes knelt. "Tell us what to do."

The woman looked at Deirbhile, who was the only person still on their feet. "Thariin. How nice to see you."

"I'm sure it is." Deirbhile agreed. "It's not so pleasant on this side, though."

"Deirbhile!" Connor hissed.

"No, Connor. It's all right." The woman smiled at them both.

"I'm not afraid of you." Deirbhile said, almost conversationally.

"Good. I don't want anyone to be afraid of me." She cocked her head to one side. "You are afraid, though. What is it?"

Deirbhile's gaze ticked for a second to Connor.

"I see. You needn't worry. I could no more hurt my father than you could."

"Doesn't reassure me."

"Really? That's a shame."

"Tara, enough." Connor said quietly. Deirbhile looked at him in frustration, but she didn't speak again.

Connor and Angel rose and Angel lifted Cordelia; he started up the stairs with her. The woman followed, Connor followed her, and the rest of Angel Inc went after her.

"Damnit!" Deirbhile muttered, following them reluctantly. She could feel the woman trying to find a way into her mind as she had the others, but Deirbhile was doing her best to keep her out.

In Cordelia's room the woman was busy telling them her life story; Gunn summed it up by saying dazedly, "You're a Power…that _was_?"

Deirbhile ignored the story, sitting quietly beside Connor's chair. The only part that caught her attention was when the woman claimed responsibility for Connor.

"I needed a miracle. And so I arranged one. Through you, Angel, through Darla. That is where my parentage begin. Two vampires, creatures once human, corrupted by darkness. And you with a soul…a miracle already."

"But how?" Angel asked.

"Through Lorne. The day Lorne sent Angel and human Darla into the trials to earn a new chance at life."

"I failed…" Angel protested quietly.

"No. You earned that life. And there it is." She gestured to Connor.

"Liar." Deirbhile said quietly.

"I'm sorry?" she asked politely.

"Connor doesn't belong to you."

"Connor is my father, not my possession."

"You didn't make him."

"Tara, be quiet." Connor said, suddenly fierce. Deirbhile stared at him, wide-eyed.

Connor turned to look up at the woman again. "I'm sorry. She won't interrupt again."

"She has doubts. That's normal. I can help." She reached to touch Deirbhile, but the Elf pulled away, slamming into the wall behind Connor's chair. "Ah, well. When I'm finished, maybe.

"All these events unfolded that I might reenter this psychical plane."

"All the events we've witnessed these last months…all the badness…it was birth pains." Wesley mused.

"But the storm has passed." The woman told them earnestly.

"And here comes the sun." Lorne said, smiling.

"Cordelia…" Angel murmured. "Will she wake up?"

"If we take hold of the world, strip away the thorns, win the battle…then yes. I think she will."

"How do we do that?" Fred asked dazedly.

"One evil at a time. Much damage has been done to the world. There are demons, forces of hate all over this city."

"We're going to destroy them." Fred said eagerly.

"We're going to change the world." The woman agreed.

"Finally." Angel murmured.

Deirbhile skulked along behind them as they found a gang of vampires and fought it. She watched, frowning, as Angel Inc fought with almost manic energy; from Connor she expected that, but the others were well-trained enough to know that that kind of carelessness could get very expensive.

A vampire came up behind her suddenly; Deirbhile sidestepped, letting him past her to where Fred and the woman were sitting. She watched blandly as the vampire scratched her arm, leading Angel to follow him, yelling, out of the building. Connor followed on his heels; the others were behind him. Deirbhile came up in time to see the woman reach towards a young man who was crying helplessly, trying to shy away from her.

"Don't touch me…please don't touch me…" he was crying, but he hadn't the energy to pull away.

Deirbhile caught the woman's wrist before she could touch him, staring her straight in the eyes.

"You can't stop me." the woman whispered, too quietly for anyone else to hear.

"Watch me." Deirbhile responded.

"I know why you're here. As long as Connor follows me, you can't do anything to stop me."

"Watch me." Deirbhile repeated, almost inaudibly.

She pulled away from Deirbhile, reaching to touch the man's cheek lightly before saying softly, "Wesley?"

**I'll call an ambulance." Wesley said, turning away from the scene.**

"All of you, so loving, so strong. How can I ask you to understand that a man like this, so full of fear, anger, so alone—he will always be alone, but we have found each other." The woman smiled serenely.

Deirbhile trailed the group back to the hotel, determinedly not listening as they tried to pick a name for the woman.

"What about Helen?" Gunn suggested.

"Helen." Wesley said thoughtfully.

They were sitting on the stairs in the lobby, cleaning the weapons they'd just used.

"It's got a ring." Gunn said defensively.

"Yes, it does." Wes agreed. "However, something along the lines of…" he thought for a moment. "Dianthia. Or Iphigenia."

"Those are some long lines. "Gunn teased.

"Or Aristophila, which means…"

"Supreme lover of mankind." the woman said with a smile. "That's lovely."

"Well, Helen was my grandma's name." Gunn protested.

"Helen is lovely too." she assured him.

"All right." Wes said determindly. "What about…"

"Clorox." Fred blurted from the stairs.

"Clorox. She bleaches away the hate." Gunn said, grinning.

"Probably best we avoid brand names." Wes suggested. Gunn nodded in agreement.

"No, I…I meant the shirt. I know I can get this stain out."

"It's not important, Fred."

"No, it is." Fred insisted. "I can make it good as new again."

"It's just cloth." Deirbhile murmured, and was ignored. "It's not spun gold or anything."

"There's really no need. It's just a shirt."

"But it's yours." Fred was on the verge of tears. "And it was on you, on your holy bodiness. And it's my fault you were attacked."

The woman stood. "Nonsense. There is no fault. It was a new and vivid experience. To be able to bleed, feel things, anything—even pain—is a gift. You people take your senses for granted."

"Club soda!" Fred blurted, spinning and running back upstairs.

Gunn laughed. "May as well let her do her thing."

"Yes, Fred can be quite single-minded when she's focused on a problem." Wes agreed.

"Yeah." Gunn said fondly.

"You love her very much—both of you. Don't you see? You both have the same love. That should bring you closer together, not drive you apart." the woman urged softly.

Connor came downstairs, stepping over Deirbhile without even really registering her. He dropped the bandages he'd been carrying on the seat and gestured awkwardly towards the woman. "I'm sorry you got hurt."

"Oh?" She lifted the towel from her arm and smiled in satisfaction.

The cut had healed completely.

"But…there was so much blood." Connor said, startled.

"I heal quickly. It must be a benefit of being a former power, I guess."

"Or a benefit of being something else." Deirbhile said loudly.

"Will you stop?" Connor demanded, turning on her.

"No, I won't." she retorted.

"Leave her be, Connor. She's not harming anyone." The woman smiled magnanimously at her. "In time, she'll come to see as clearly as you do."

Deirbhile shuddered, gripping the banister tightly. "No I won't."

"We'll see." the woman promised softly.

"What was wrong with that man?" Connor asked, studying the bandages intently. "Why did he want to hurt you?"

"I'm not sure. Some people can't accept change. It scares them, and that fear becomes hatred, and they take that hatred out on others...or on themselves." She rose quietly to her feet, smiled at everyone, and went out onto the porch.

Connor rounded on Deirbhile. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me." She rose to her feet, throwing off the meek persona she'd been using. "You're the blind one. She's not…"

"Enough." Connor cut her off. "If you can't be with us on this, just leave."

"You can't make me go."

"If you…"

"Connor." she cut him off. "You can't make me go. Whatever you do, I'm staying with you."

"I don't care." He pushed past her, looking now at the door the woman had just gone through. "Just stay out of my way."

He left then, followed rapidly by Wes and Gunn. Deirbhile grimaced after them and made for the 'phone.

A week or so later the news reported a dramatic decrease in crime. It was, of course, attributed to the police, rather than the fact that Angel Inc had spent most of their time wading through demon blood.

"Hm. A little credit for the 'Divinity behind the scenes' wouldn't suck." Angel muttered, turning it off.

"It's not important who gets the credit." the woman assured him. "What matters is that we're winning."

"If we keep going at this rate…" Wes mused.

"LA's gonna be one big, fat no-demon zone. Hello, garden city." Gunn finished.

"You never doubted us." Angel said, staring worshipfully at the woman. "Not for a second."

"There's no room for doubt, Angel. Only love."

Deirbhile grinned suddenly from her corner. "Do you think, if you tried, you could use more clichés? They're just so entertaining."

"Deirbhile…" Connor said warningly.

"Bite me." she muttered.

"Don't tempt me." Angel warned her.

Lorne came in in time to catch the end of that, but he decided not to comment.

"Hey, we made the news." Connor told him. "'Dramatic decrease in southland murders this week'."

"Oh, hey, so much for that nagging apocalypse. Hey, uh…" he looked at the woman. "Speaking of dramatic, I've got a smidge of surprise for you upstairs."

"Surprises. They're one of my favorite things about being human." She laughed happily, following Lorne upstairs. Deirbhile rolled her eyes and scrambled to her feet.

"I'm going out."

"Don't hurry back." Connor said pointedly, glowering at her as he followed the woman upstairs.

"Brat." Deirbhile muttered, leaving before anyone else could say anything.

She kept away all day and into the evening, tracing their movements as best she could. Fred left hurriedly at one point, but Deirbhile lost track of her when the woman left as well. The noise the woman was making blocked everything else.

Deirbhile was sitting on the fountain when Fred came back, ignoring and being ignored by the people rushing past.

"Hey." Fred said distractedly. "What's happening?"

"Sheep to the slaughter." Deirbhile informed her, very seriously.

"Uh-huh. That's nice. I have to…"

"He's not going to believe you." Deirbhile told her.

"Excuse me?"

"Wes. All whitewashed on the inside. No room for anything dark or wrong."

"You're wrong." Fred told her. "Wesley will believe me."

Deirbhile shrugged. "If you say so. Fred?" Her voice had a sudden note of fear, and Fred turned back against her will. "Don't let her touch you, all right?"

"I won't." Fred agreed, turning to go back into the lobby.

"Can I come?" Deirbhile asked, sounding terribly young and lost. "Connor said I wasn't to, but if you say…"

"Sure." Fred agreed with a forced smile, half-turning and holding out her hand. Deirbhile's sanity came and went, it seemed, but they were rarely surprised at anything she did anymore. "Come on, but don't get in the way, all right? I don't know what's going to happen."

"Be good." Deirbhile murmured, almost to herself. "Blackwash the whitewash. Make it all bad again. Take away the light."

Fred refused to listen to her, refused to let the words have any meaning, as she left her with Lorne and looked for Wes.

"Fred? What's wrong?"

"I need you." She tugged him away from the people he'd been talking with, to where they wouldn't be overheard. "If I told you something—you know, that you maybe didn't want to hear, even…you'd trust me, right?"

"Of course." Wes said benignly.

"I…went to see that man from the restaurant."

"The attacker?" Wes asked in surprise. "Why?"

"That's what I wanted to know…why he would do something like that. Wesley, he saw something. We both s-saw something. I needed to know if it was the same thing."

"And?"

"It was. Wesley, I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but…"

Deirbhile stirred, pulling gently at Lorne's sleeve. "Hmm? What is it, pet?" Lorne asked.

"Everyone's angry." she informed him seriously.

"Really?" Lorne asked, looking across the lobby. It was crammed with people, but they were being remarkably calm. "Couldn't prove it by this lot."

"Upstairs, she's angry. Down here, she's angry." Deirbhile trailed off, watching Wes cross the lobby as Connor and Angel and the woman came onto the balcony.

"I have to go." Lorne told her. "You OK?"

"Yup. Gonna talk to Fred." She grinned brightly at him and crossed to stand next to Fred. "Fred, they're coming. They're on to you. Get away."

"What?" Fred asked, jarred.

"I told you. He doesn't believe you. They're gonna come get you."

Fred stared at her for a minute before backing slowly towards the weapons case, arming herself discreetly.

"Not that one, Fred." Deirbhile said softly, taking the dagger she'd been about to hide. "Take this one."

"That's your one, isn't it? What's it doing in here?"

"Connor's, now." Deirbhile said ruefully. Placing the dagger in Fred's hand, she slashed it quickly over her own fingers, wincing.

"Deirbhile!" Fred started to cry, then cut herself off. "What are you doing?"

"Distracting Connor for you. Can't do anything about the others, but he's mine. I have leeway." Glancing at Fred, she hissed, "Hurry up!"

Fred turned to find all of AI staring straight at them; the sole exception was Connor, who seemed to be suffering a dizzy spell and was clinging to the balcony rail.

"I'm sorry." she breathed, and shot her crossbow at the woman.

"I know you helped Fred get away." Connor said later.

"You said you didn't care what I did." Deirbhile reminded him. Connor snorted.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. Why would you help her?"

Deirbhile shrugged, rubbing at the side of her hand; Connor noticed the movement and caught her wrist, examining the fading scar dispassionately. "Fred's always been nice to me."

"And you don't like her." Connor noted, putting an emphases on 'her'.

"No. I don't."

"Why not?" Connor asked, letting go of her hand.

"She's not what she looks like."

"I know that." he said.

"I know you know it. Just think for a minute, Connor. You know Fred. She's a bit impulsive, but not on this scale. No way she'd try to kill someone without research."

"That man did." Connor pointed out.

"That man saw a monster coming at him. He was actually very brave." She rose from her seat and knelt next to him. "Connor, I know you know she's not…so why are you following her?"

"Why not?" he muttered without looking at her.

"It's not real! You think she's giving you a family, but she's not, Connor. It's a lie. Eventually you won't be useful any more, and she'll swallow you up. All gone."

"Is that so different from you?" he asked bitterly.

"Yes! Connor…" She trailed off, looking away. "I'm not…I can't tell you any better than I have already. You know who I am and what I want."

"I know what you say." Connor returned. "With her I feel it, inside."

"You've felt things with me. You know you have." She knelt up, touching the side of his face to make him look at her. "I've watched you. You've felt that. You've been protecting me for…I can't think right now. A long time, anyway."

"You're loopy." Connor said, sounding at best vaguely interested.

Deirbhile laughed, almost hysterical. "Yes. You're only just now realizing this?"

"More than normal." He eyed her cautiously. "You're not going to do anything stupid, are you?"

"Define stupid."

Connor snorted, amused in spite of himself. "We're going to get her, you know."

"You're going to try." Deirbhile agreed. "Where is she?"

"Jasmine…" Connor hesitated to enjoy the name. "…is going on the TV."

"Why?"

"To spread her love."

Deirbhile snorted softly, catching herself and glancing worriedly at him. "Sorry. You're not going to catch her."

"Wesley and Gunn are going after her tomorrow morning. They'll get her."


	13. The Magic Bullet

Author's note: Hi!

Merykey, I'd love to answer your questions, but I don't want to spoil the story for everyone else. Um…I can say that Deirbhile will do her best for AI, but her priority is Connor. Does that help?

Previously on Angel_: Fred discovered Jasmine's true identity and attempted to kill her. Thwarted by her former colleagues, she went on the run in an LA full of Jasmine's followers._

Angel 

Jasmine: The Magic Bullet

The hotel was full to bursting the next morning; people who had seen Jasmine on TV kept coming in, hoping to get closer to her. Deirbhile sat quietly on the very edge of the counter, listening as Lorne patiently turned away customer after customer. "Hey, kiddo, here she comes!" Lorne nudged her, gesturing towards one of the balconies. Deirbhile glanced up briefly before looking away again.

"Very nice." she said vaguely. "That's a pretty dress she's wearing."

Jasmine came down into the lobby, greeting various people in their own languages. Deirbhile listened with half an ear; the rest of her was focusing on not running to try and kill her there and then. "Not my place." she murmured to herself.

When Wes and Gunn brushed past her she followed them, slipping into the office and curling into the couch.

"What happened?" Angel asked.

"This close, then she pulled a Houdini." Gunn said angrily.

"What's a Houdini?" Connor asked.

"She escaped." Wes explained.

"Fred's obviously learned a trick or two here at Angel Inc." Angel mused. "But we'll catch her."

"I'll find her." Connor muttered. "Bring back her scalp."

"No." Wesley said sharply. "Jasmine wants her alive."

"Wes is right. Fred gets to live until we understand why she rejected Jasmine's love."

"Why would anyone reject love?" Connor protested.

"Pot, kettle." Deirbhile muttered.

"You stay out of it." Connor told her.

"Maybe cause she has a history?" Gunn suggested, ignoring Deirbhile's comments as most of the AI team did now.

"Whatever the reason is, we have to find her so Jasmine can straighten her out." Angel said firmly, turning to leave the office.

At the door Wes and Gunn halted, watching enviously as Jasmine picked two people from the crowd and led them upstairs.

"You think she'll ever pick us?" Gunn asked.

"If we're very lucky." Wes said quietly. "But not before we find Fred."

"You wouldn't want her to pick you." Deirbhile said from behind them. "She's not giving them milk and cookies up there."

"What would you know about it?" Gunn demanded.

"Lots more than you think."

"Deirbhile…" Connor said warningly, and she fell silent. Turning to Angel, Connor added, "Let's go."

"Can I come?" Deirbhile asked softly.

"You going to help us?" Connor asked.

"Help you." she agreed, nodding.

"Fine." he said shortly.

"How old were you when you realized you could track like this?" Angel asked Connor. They'd been tracking through the sewers for some time.

"I don't know. Five, six—we didn't exactly celebrate birthdays in Quor'toth. Holtz made up a game so I could practice."

"What, you mean he'd hide things for you to find?"

"Sort of. He'd tie me to a tree and then run away."

"What?" Angel demanded, stopping. Deirbhile pulled up to keep from running into him.

"You know, so I'd have to escape and then find him." Connor stopped, not wanting to leave them behind. "One time it only took me five days."

"Go you." Deirbhile murmured.

"Five days." Angel repeated. "He abandoned you? Connor, that's terrible. That's…"

"What you did." Deirbhile said quietly.

"Why I'm so good at tracking." Connor spoke over her. "Fred rested here for a while."

Angel stopped again; Connor echoed him. "Jasmine wants us back at the hotel."

Deirbhile slipped into Jasmine's room when Angel opened it after knocking; she was getting good at slipping through gaps, as the team seemed barely to notice her any more.

"You called us." Angel said.

"How did you do that?" Connor added.

"We felt it."

"We're all becoming connected." Jasmine said. "All of us. And now that you're all here, I want to test that connection. We're going to find Fred."

"Isn't that what we've been trying to do?" Connor asked.

"This time we're going to do it differently. No more running around town. Everybody join hands. I can't do this alone, not yet."

Deirbhile caught Connor's wrist as he was reaching for Jasmine's hand. "You can't have Connor."

"Deirbhile…" Connor twisted in her grip, quickly realizing she was stronger than he was. "Let go."

"She's not having you." Deirbhile told him, looking back at Jasmine. "Do it without him."

"Deirbhile." Angel said quietly. "Let go of Connor."

"Connor's mine. You can't have him. Mine, Jasmine." She snorted faintly. "Jasmine."

Jasmine reached for Deirbhile's face; the girl ducked wildly away, jerking Connor after her. "Ow! Deirbhile…"

"Connor, I will never ask you for anything again, I swear it, just don't do this with her. Please, Connor, please, don't do it."

Connor stared at her for a long minute before shaking her off and turning back to Jasmine, reaching for her hand. Deirbhile sank to the floor, staring blindly past the group. Jasmine favored her with a bright smile before turning back to the others. "I want y'all to close your eyes. Now, picture Fred. Picture what she looks like: her face, her big brown eyes, the way she styles her hair, the clothes she likes to wear, the sound of her voice, what she looks like when she smiles. Now concentrate. Where are you, Fred? I'm looking for you." She smiled. "I see you. I see you, Fred."

Deirbhile raised her head as smoke came from Jasmine's hand; lunging forward, she caught the back of Connor's top and yanked him backwards, breaking their contact.

"Ah!" Connor hissed, shaking her off without thinking.

"What happened?" Wesley demanded. Angel and Lorne helped Jasmine into a chair.

"Her hand got hot." Connor said, shaking out his own hand.

"It's badly burned." Wes announced, examining Jasmine's hand. Deirbhile pulled herself to her feet again and took hold of Connor's wrist, examining the palm of his hand.

"Hurt?" she asked him softly.

"It's fine." he told her.

"Sure?"

"Yes. It's fine."

Both looked up in time to hear Angel say, "…hotel full of people, people who have needs."

"You know what they say about people who need people." Lorne added.

Connor pulled gently away from Deirbhile. "They're the luckiest people in the world?"

"What are you smoking?" Deirbhile asked in surprise.

"You been sneaking peeks at my Streisand collection again, kiddo?" Lorne asked.

"Just…kinda popped out." Connor muttered.

"This is what I'm talking about." Jasmine said. "Everyone's becoming connected—the same way I saw Fred."

"That's one word for it." Deirbhile muttered. Tugging at Connor's top again, she added, "Come and let me look at that. You don't have healing powers left over from being not-a-Power-that-Was."

"I told you it's fine."

"It's not fine, Connor, I can feel it bleeding from here. Come let me look at it."

Giving up, he followed her out of the room.

Much later, Deirbhile sat on the floor outside Jasmine's room, watching Connor who was on guard duty. Jasmine was ensconced inside with several people she'd picked at random from the crowd in the lobby. Since Fred had made Angel defect everyone was on edge, tightening security around the hotel.

"You sang good earlier." she said hesitantly.

"Never sang before." Connor said indifferently.

"I like that you and Angel are…" she caught herself. "_Were_ getting along." She frowned thoughtfully. "How did Fred do it?"

"Don't know. Don't care. Gonna kill them both."

"Yu-huh. I have to go, for a bit."

"Have fun."

She vanished around the corner just as Jasmine came out. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Connor said without thinking.

"My sweet boy." Jasmine smiled.

"Where are those people?"

"I ate them."

Connor smiled. "Cool."

Deirbhile slipped into a room, twisting under Gunn's punch without even seeming to notice him. "Just me."

"You sane?" Angel asked.

"Saner'n you. Where's Wes?"

"Gone to get Connor. We're going." Angel said. "We need to work out what to do."

"Won't help. You can't fix what's in Connor's head."

"Can you?" Angel asked.

"Too deep for me. Nope, he'll do it on his own given time."

"We don't have time." Gunn pointed out, pulling her out of the path of the door. Wes came in, ducking immediately to the side to give Angel clear access.

"What? Hey, no!" Connor tried to back up, but the door was closed and Angel had him.

"You've been lied to." Fred assured him. Several others chimed in with reassurances as well.

"Help me!" Connor demanded of Deirbhile, who'd backed up to the far wall.

"I am." she whispered, locking her eyes on his as Wes advanced with the knife.

"Ahh! I'll kill you!" Connor yelled, struggling as Wes cut a shallow line into his chest, daubing it with Cordelia's blood.

"It'll pass." Angel murmured, holding him still.

"Connor." Deirbhile murmured. Connor slumped, looking dazedly around.

"You're back with us now, Connor." Angel said gently, letting go of him.

"Only way to make you see." Gunn agreed.

"You understand why we're here?" Angel asked. Connor nodded, eyes on the floor.

"Yes." Glancing up, he caught Deirbhile's eye and held out a hand to her. Without hesitation she took it, crossing to his side and then whirling to block the others as Connor yanked the door open.

"They're here! Come quick! They're here!"


	14. Sacrifice

Author's note: Hey, Mery-key! Hope you're enjoying the story; we're almost at the end now. angel-wings, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a bit shorter; sorry.

Previously on Angel: _Fred and Angel managed to break the others free of Jasmine's influence; but even free of her Connor chose to stay with her and betrayed the others to her followers._

Angel: 

Jasmine Sacrifice

"They're here! Come quick! They're here!"

"Connor, you have to listen to us." Angel said urgently.

"Listen to you?" Connor demanded. "You're the ones who lie. You're the ones who hate."

"No, Connor…" Fred started. Deirbhile moved, ducking out of the room and around Connor.

"Jasmine's controlling you. Controlling your feelings." Angel said.

"You're wrong, Dad. About me, about her, everything. It doesn't matter anymore what you say." He glanced down the hall, where a lot of people could be heard coming. "We're going to tear you apart."

Angel shoved him out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Connor glanced at Deirbhile. "You stay out of the way. We're gonna kill them all."

"Not get in the way." Deirbhile agreed. Connor looked at her oddly for a minute before turning and beginning to pound on the door.

"I'm part of something. I belong! I won't let anyone spoil that." Connor muttered as he banged on the door. Angel broke through the door and grabbed him, shoving him against the far wall. Deirbhile jumped out of the way, neatly blocking the corridor as the mob tried to get Angel.

"Angel, stop it." she said, watching him pound on Connor. "Stop, Angel. Stop it!"

Angel glared at her, holding Connor up with one hand. "Are you with us or them?"

"I'm with him." She glanced behind her. "Can't block the road forever, Angel. Gotta pick a side." He didn't move, and she frowned. "That was a hint. Run away."

Angel turned and darted back through the room, still holding Connor. Deirbhile followed him through the window and onto the fire exit to the street below, where the others were waiting in Angel's car.

"Are you coming?" Angel asked, leaving Connor in the street and climbing in.

"Angel, that's…" Fred started.

"I know what he is. Deirbhile, are you coming?"

Deirbhile shook her head faintly. "Can't. Need to be here."

"Fine. Wes, go."

Deirbhile backed up as the mob, deprived of their target, picked up Connor and carried him upstairs, back to Jasmine.

Later Connor came to look for her.

"Someone said you tried to stop Angel."

"I did."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Shouldn't have tried to hurt you." She looked up at him. "What did she do?"

"Helped me." Connor said with a faint smile.

Deirbhile caught at his hand, studying the palm intently. "Caught you, more like. Welcome to my parlor."

Connor sighed. "I know you don't like her. But I do. Can you just…leave it at that?"

"It's so long since I had a Champion, I'd sort of forgotten…Anything you want, Connor. You know that."

"You called me Connor."

"Yeah." She smiled faintly. "Sometimes I do that. I'm wacky that way."

Connor studied her for another minute. "I have to go."

"Go?"

"To kill Angel and the others. We know where they are."

"I know where they are. What does that matter?"

"We're going to kill them."

"You're going to try. Connor…" She caught his wrist when he started to rise. "Be careful. All right?"

"You're not going to ask me not to hurt them?"

"That's up to you, Connor. We've had this conversation, too."

He stared at her for a long time before leaving the room.


	15. Peace Out

Author's note: Penultimate chapter! But Connor and Deirbhile will be back soon, don't worry. I mean, they'll be back next week for the end of the…anyway! It's my birthday tomorrow! (Actually, that's a lie. It was two weeks ago. I just kept forgetting to put it up here in the Notes.)

MeryKey: There will be more books. At least one Connor-centric; he appears in others in the Chronicles, as well, but most of them aren't Angel. If you head on over to my website, you'll be able to get an idea.

Angelwings: Thank you! I love hearing that people enjoy my work. Please, enjoy the next-to-last chapter.

Jasmine Peace Out

When Connor came back, with the rest of AI being dragged along behind him, Deirbhile was waiting patiently in the lobby. Without even seeming to really see her, he caught her hand and brought her with them to Jasmine's room. Deirbhile balked at going in, though, so he left her outside until Jasmine was finished with them.

Deirbhile followed them to the basement and sat quietly on the steps while Connor locked them into Angelus' cage.

"I just gotta know one thing." Lorne said as Connor locked the door. "The reason our little blood ritual didn't raise any veils for you. You've always seen Jasmine's true appearance, haven't you?"

"You've got to be kidding me." Gunn protested. "You know what Maggot-Face looks like, and you're still big with the worship?"

Connor sat on a nearby chair. "I grew up in Quor-Toth—a hell dimension full of all sorts of things you can't even imagine. So, you know, appearance? Not that important to me."

"What is important to you, Connor?" Fred asked softly.

"Not us, apparently. Or his own father." Gunn remarked.

"What about Deirbhile?" Fred gestured to where she was still crouched on the stairs. "What about Cordelia? She needs help, medical attention. I mean, who knows what that coma's doing to her?"

"She's fine." Connor said dismissively.

"Are you sure? Have you checked?" Fred persisted. "Connor, if you don't care for her, then—"

"She isn't—she's been moved." Connor corrected himself.

"Moved? What do you mean?" Gunn demanded.

"Someplace safe, OK? She's taken care of, so just quit—"

Wesley raised his head. "Connor, what does Jasmine eat?

"What?"

"The creature in the sewer. It called her the "devourer." Devourer of what?"

Connor shook his head. "I don't know."

"Don't you?" Wesley sighed. "The followers she randomly chooses to come to her room. The ones she sent to meet her in the banquet hall."

"They're the banquet." Lorne realized.

"Wait. People? She eats people?" Gunn asked.

"Oh, no." Fred murmured.

"To Serve Man. It's "To Serve Man" all over again."

"And now she's going global."

Gunn looked at Wesley. "You don't think Cordy's—"

Wesley shook his head. "I hope not, but we really have no way of knowing, do we?"

Deirbhile looked up. "She's not dead. Does that help?"

"How do you know?" Gunn demanded.

"Oh, please." As she spoke, she rose to her feet and came down into the cellar. "Let's have the 'I'm an Elf, I have mystical powers' conversation again. That's a wonderful way to pass time."

Connor murmured something to her as she passed, rose to his feet and left the basement. Deirbhile dropped into the seat and eyed them cautiously.

"You're not going to let us out, are you." Wesley said.

"Can't." Deirbhile said. "I'm sorry."

"Why not?" Fred asked. "I thought you liked us."

"I do…I like you." Deirbhile said, looking straight at her. "But I need him. He's almost back to me, almost, and I can't risk…"

"So you're going to leave us here?" Gunn demanded. "Let Jasmine eat us?"

Fred paled, and Deirbhile shook her head. "You're not going to get eaten. Nothing's going to happen to you, Angel will be back first."

Wes pushed forward. "Are you certain?"

She nodded. "He'll be back. Jasmine's not going to get you."

"You could just…unlock the cage and go. No one would know." Fred pleaded softly.

"Yes they would." Deirbhile contradicted her. "There's reasons I'm the one down here with you."

"Cruel to be kind." Lorne said from behind the others. "Only it's not us you're being kind to, is it?"

"It is, though. You don't see it. Corners where you can't look around."

"How is this being kind to us?" Gunn demanded.

Deirbhile tilted her head slightly. "You want Jasmine gone?"

"Obviously." Gunn hit the bar in front of him.

"Then trust me. You can't get out yet. Soon."

Turning away, she left the basement.

Connor was sitting on the floor beside the altar when she found him again. Cordelia lay, still and unmoving, on the altar.

Approaching carefully, Deirbhile whispered, "Connor?"

"Not now."

"There's all kinds of…"

"Not now, Tara." He hadn't looked up, but she stopped dead anyway. Backing up, she found a corner and sat on the floor, watching him.

Neither moved for a long time; Connor sat staring at Cordelia, and Deirbhile just sat. Every so often she lifted her head as though to speak; but Connor tensed every time, and she sank back without speaking.

Suddenly one of the guards Connor had knocked out spoke, Jasmine's voice echoing eerily through the church. "Father, I need you. Help me, please."

Connor started to his feet, head cocked as though listening. "What's going on, Tara?" he asked.

"Angel broke the spell. For everyone. No more masks." She pulled herself up on the wall, watching him warily. "Connor…"

"Are you coming?" he demanded.

"Do you know who she is, Connor?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

Connor hesitated before answering, "Yes. I know who she is."

Deirbhile nodded. "All right then."

Jasmine was fighting…and beating…Angel when they found them on a bridge downtown. The race through LA had not been fun, as they'd had to dodge hundreds of panicked citizens who all seemed to be running in random directions.

Deirbhile dropped behind as they approached, circling widely around them and coming up from behind Angel, who seemed to be kissing Jasmine.

"Always the same, dad." Connor said in mock regret. "I get a girl, you gotta make a play for her."

"Connor?" Angel gasped, shoving away from Jasmine. Deirbhile quietly steadied him from behind.

Jasmine turned, smiling. "Connor. Connor, I still have you. Angel's ruined everything. But he can't defeat both of us. You still believe in me, don't you? You still love me?"

Connor nodded. "Yes."

Jasmine turned to gloat at Angel and Deirbhile, and Connor punched her. His fist went right through her head, and Deirbhile flinched back as Jasmine fell, quite obviously dead.

Angel pushed away from Deirbhile and reached towards Connor. "Connor... It's OK. It's over." Connor looked up, seeming at best vaguely interested. "Look, I know this is difficult for you. I'm just— I'm just happy to have you."

Connor shook his head, turning away.

"Connor. Connor? Connor. Connor!"

Connor, ignoring his father walked away.

Deirbhile spoke up quietly. "You can't keep him."

"You want him." Angel muttered.

"I do. But even if I don't get him, he doesn't want to be here." She looked downwards. "He loved her. As much as you ever loved Buffy or Cordelia, he loved Jasmine."

Angel started to reply, but she shook her head quickly. "Not now, Angel. We need to get you back to the hotel." She brushed a hand over his face, smiling faintly when he flinched. "Get those seen to. Can you walk?"

"Sure." He took a few steps and stopped, wobbling dangerously.

"Uh-huh." Deirbhile came to stand beside him, taking some of his weight.

"You're not crazy." Angel noted vaguely.

"Not so much, no. Let's go."

She ducked away from him when they reached the hotel, letting him go in first.

"Angel." Fred said in some surprise, coming out of the office with the others behind her.

"Oh, God. You're alive." Angel stumbled further into the room.

"Angel…" Wes started.

"Jasmine's dead." Angel spoke over him. "I brought back her name and her powers were destroyed. Connor killed her." He sank into a seat.

"Connor?" Fred repeated, eyes wide.

"Um, there's something…" Wesley started again.

"I've never seen him like this. Her wasn't hurt or angry, he just…killed her. And his face, it—it was just blank, like he had nothing left."

Wesley shook his head sharply, trying to catch Angel's attention. "Angel, you really…"

"I've got a bad feeling." Angel hadn't even really registered them. "He's just…given up. I think he's gonna do something. You know, he might…"

"End world peace?"

Angel turned to see Lilah…Lilah Morgan, looking as alive as ever…standing in the door to his office.

"Well, you already took care of that." she continued. "Congratulations."


	16. Home

Author's note: And here we have the last chapter of Champions. There will be the traditional two week break before the next posting. Thanks everyone who reviewed, especially those who've been with me all along…here's to the next one…

Jasmine Home

Angel pushed unsteadily to his feet. "Lilah."

"Angel." Lilah returned. "What's the matter, ace? Didn't think you were the only one that ever got to come back from hell around here, did ya?" She grinned. "Speaking of which, could I possibly get some ice water?"

"What are you doing here, Lilah?" Angel asked tiredly.

"She's not here. It's not her. It can't be." Wesley said quietly. He seemed oddly defeated.

"There's a signed dollar in your wallet that says different." Lilah offered.

"It's a lie." Wesley insisted.

"…Lah. It's a Lilah." To Angel, she continued, "You're the one with the preternatural senses. You tell him." Seeing Deirbhile, she added, "Or you. Someone."

"It's true, Wes. It's her." Angel said.

"But how? She was dead." Fred reminded them.

"She's still dead." Angel explained.

"Vampire?" Gunn asked.

"Eww, please. Angelus drank from me, it's true, but like with most men, it was a one-way street. I was dead already. Besides, my Wesley made sure I'd be spared, just in case." Looking at Wes, she added, "It's OK, lover. I never felt a thing."

"I'm sure that's true." Wes said distantly.

Deirbhile stirred. "She's trying to make it better, Wes. That you did the right thing. She's just not very good at it."

"Thank you, Deirbhile, stay out of it." Wes said in the same distant tone.

"I don't get this." Gunn deliberately ignored Deirbhile and Wes's continuing conversation. "If she ain't alive, and she ain't a vampire, what in the hell is she?"

"I'm just a messenger. That's all. They'll be sending me straight back to hell once I'm finished here." Lilah said.

"Who's "they"?" Gunn demanded.

"Wolfram & Hart." Angel said. "The contract she signed with them extends beyond her death."

"Standard perpetuity clause, I'm afraid. Always read the fine print." Lilah agreed.

"What's your game, Lilah?" Angel asked.

"No game. In fact, game over. Guess what? You win, which is why I'm here. I have been authorized to make you kids an offer."

"You can't possibly think there's anything we'd want from you." Fred scoffed.

"I don't think you'll want it, but you'll take it, because this is the offer of a lifetime. Just not, you know...mine."

Deirbhile ignored Lilah's speech, since she wasn't part of it anyway, listening just enough to hear what was going on. The rest of her attention was occupied with trying to track Connor. But, as had been typical for some months now, LA itself was disrupting her senses and making it hard to concentrate.

"Deirbhile?"

She looked up to find Fred standing over her. "Yes?"

"We're all going to sleep. Are you tired? You look tired."

"Tired." Deirbhile repeated, accepting Fred's hand up. "Yes, I suppose. Are you going to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Go to Wolfram and Hart."

Fred stopped. "I don't know. Would you?"

"Wolfram and Hart's got nothing I want. It's different for you, though." Deirbhile paused to look back down the stairs. "If you do go, try to remember something, OK?"

"OK." Fred agreed.

"They did evil things there. It doesn't mean the people there are evil, or the structure is evil. It just means evil things were done."

"I'm not following." Fred admitted.

"OK. Wolfram and Hart is Angelus? The people inside are Angel."

Before Fred could question her any further, she ran the rest of the way upstairs and vanished.

Deirbhile trailed the group into Wolfram and Hart the next morning, gazing around in that vaguely distracted way. She ignored everyone around her as Lilah sent the others away with their individual guides, following absently after Angel and Lilah.

They headed for the boss's office, Angel and Lilah arguing and sniping all the way, and when they reached it Deirbhile wandered over to lean against one wall, safely out of their way. Only when Lilah turned on a TV did it catch her attention.

"…evacuated and bomb units have been called to the scene where police say more than a dozen promenade shoppers are being held hostage at this hour. Police are trying to identify the suspect from these security camera pictures. So far, no motive is known for the siege, and the suspect has refused to speak with law enforcement officials. We'll keep you updated as this intense drama unfolds."

Deirbhile blinked, glancing over her shoulder as Lilah and Angel's argument resumed. Smiling faintly to herself, she slipped out of the room.

Connor was pacing randomly around the shop floor when she arrived, alternately talking to himself and yelling at his hostages. Deirbhile stepped into his path and waited patiently.

"What're you doing here?" he asked, stepping around her.

"Came for you." She looked around. "You need all these?"

"Keeps the others outside."

"I suppose it would. Connor…"

"Hey! I told you to be nice." Connor said to the man behind her.

"I'm sorry." he attempted.

"You're not holding her right. Why don't you hold her right?"

"I think you broke my arm."

"Do it right."

The man slowly lifted his arm and slid it around the child's shoulder. "Shh, shh. It's gonna be OK. It's gonna be OK."

Connor crossed to check the batteries for his explosives and then paused, tilting his head slightly.

"You got in. I thought you might."

Angel jumped down from the balcony, landing halfway between Deirbhile and Connor. Eyeing his son carefully, he took a few steps forward. "Connor? Son?"

Something exploded behind him and he jumped. Connor didn't react, except to frown at some crying hostages.

"You might not want to move. Everyone's rigged. Can't save 'em all, dad. Don't know who's gonna be first. Could be any one of 'em. Could be me. Could be her."

He took a step to the side. Behind him, Cordelia lay on the floor.

"Son...you have to listen to me. This is about Jasmine."

"Jasmine's gone." Connor snapped.

"I know. We all felt it, that perfect love, then when you had to give it up—"

"I didn't feel anything!" Connor yelled. "I _can't_ feel anything. I guess I really am your son... 'cause I'm dead, too."

"You're not dead. You're just starting your life and—" Angel was interrupted again.

"No, you just weren't there before!"

"I know. I'm so—"

"Do not say you're sorry! Doesn't fix anything."

Angel took a deep breath, out of habit rather than need, and tried again. "OK, look, let me say this. I love you, son."

Connor shook his head tiredly. "It's a lie."

"Lah." Deirbhile murmured.

"It's not." Angel ignored Deirbhile, attention fixed solely on Connor.

"It's always a lie. My dead mother couldn't even love me."

Deirbhile looked up. "She did, Connor. She came back for you. Remember?"

Connor shook his head, and Angel picked up quickly, "You're wrong. She did."

"No. No. She knew she couldn't."

"She sacrificed herself because she loved you."

"You tried to love me. At least I think you did."

"I still do." Angel said.

"But not enough to hang on, dad. You let him take me. You let him get me. You let him get me. Cordy... you swore you loved me. Where are you now?"

"Connor... you have to believe that there are people who love you."

Connor glanced at Deirbhile for a minute before looking back at Angel. "Jasmine believed you when you said you loved her, but it was all a lie."

"Jasmine was the lie."

"Bad move." Deirbhile murmured, softly enough for only Angel to hear. "Wrong thing to say."

"No! She knew if you found out who she really was that you'd turn against her, and she was right. That's just what happened. People like you. People like this. None of you deserve what she could give you. She wanted to give you everything."

"I know how that feels." Angel was easing very slowly towards Connor. "'Cause I want to give you everything. I want to take back the mistakes, help you start over."

"We can't start over."

"We can. I mean, we can change things."

"There's only one thing that ever changes anything... and that's death. Everything else is just a lie. You can't be saved by a lie. You can't be saved at all."

Connor started to arm his explosive: Angel darted forward and caught him, disarming it in two quick moves and spinning Connor away.

Turning to the nearest hostages, he yanked their restraints free. "Run. Hurry. All of you. Go."

Back on his feet, Connor attacked Angel again. The pair fought around the room until Connor got some leverage and threw him clear away. Turning his back on his father, he moved towards Cordelia.

Angel rolled clear of the display case he'd crashed into and dug a knife out of the debris. Throwing it underhand, he caught Connor in the thigh, knocking him down.

Angel limped over to him, pulled the knife from his leg and shoved him down. "I really do love you, Connor."

"So what are you gonna do about it?" Connor challenged him.

"Prove it."

Angel slashed with the knife.

"Enough."

Deirbhile caught his wrist, halting his swipe. Connor took the opportunity to roll out from under him, panting as he put weight on his leg.

"All right?" Deirbhile asked him. She hadn't let go of Angel's wrist.

"I'll live." Connor said warily.

"He wasn't going to kill you. There's a spell he was shown. Was trying to help you." she told him.

Angel was rapidly discovering what Connor had several days earlier; Deirbhile was a lot stronger than she looked. He couldn't move or even feel his wrist or hand. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

Deirbhile looked back at him. "Think you can just do that? Connor's _mine, _Angel. You _know _that. Can't rewrite his history without me allowing it."

"What?" Connor demanded.

"He was going to make it so you weren't his son. Hadn't been born to him. Still you, just with a different life." Deirbhile explained. "He forgot, though, that you're my Champion. Without my saying it, the spell wouldn't have worked and he could have hurt you."

"More?" Connor asked dryly.

Deirbhile let go of Angel's wrist, pushing him back a few steps. "We're going. Go back and play in Wolfram and Hart. Don't come looking for us." Touching Connor's shoulder, she turned away.

Connor stared at Angel for a moment before following her lead.

Two weeks into his new job, Angel found Deirbhile already in his office when he came in one morning.

"Deirbhile." he said in surprise. "What're you doing here? Is Connor…"

Deirbhile shook her head quickly. "He didn't come. I just came to…I'm sorry, Angel. I was very…in the mall, I didn't mean to…I overreacted, I think."

"Maybe just a little." Angel agreed.

"I was right, though." Deirbhile muttered. "Anyway, I just came to tell you Connor's fine. And we'll be around." She paused at the door and looked back.

"We'll always be around, Angel. If you need us."


End file.
